How to work with people and not get frustrated | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

How to work with people and not get frustrated

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by noisebloom, Jul 16, 2020.

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  1. slant

    slant Ruby Adoraboobie

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    See this is where you don't understand my situation. 100% my coworkers are not acting out of hate nor being abusive. They're poor ccommunicators who have psychological roadblocks in their lives they have yet to confront. They do not have ill intentions with their actions, I would look at it more from the perspective of dysfunction possibly caused by unaddressed mental illness/ self esteem issues.

    And what I have found is that 99.9% of the time when you encounter these situations, this is the case. The majority of people are doing their best and what they believe to be right. They are trying to be happy. And the thing is, judging them for it doesn't ever help. Telling an obese person they have to lose weight doesn't make them lose weight it makes the problem worse. Dysfunctional people know that they're dysfunctional, and nobody can fix them but themselves. They have to choose to fix themselves and leading by example is more effective than calling someone out because they don't bury themselves in a pit deeper of despair by someone else's judgement. Now consequences, if you don't do your job, that makes sense. But sometimes that's not what happens.
     
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  2. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Ah well it always depends on the agenda of the person involved. I was expressing my opinion on the matter as I personally experience it. Perhaps if universalism is what my current situation is about then I suppose it is. For now.
     
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  3. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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    I'm still gonna look down on everyone looking down on everyone
     
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  4. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Ah see, I did not know this as I responded to you as this was not divulged. If my judgement of your co workers' actions were offensive, I apologize. In any case, I recognize that people have psychological roadblocks and in the act of the mistake, I will still cry foul.
     
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  5. slant

    slant Ruby Adoraboobie

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    Yeah see that makes sense, if you're a universalist and I'm a relativist our viewpoints will never ever match up. That's sort of a pattern I'm finding with the typing... J's tend to be hard universalists and Ps relativists. It's interesting to see the inherent differences in people's temperaments because I do believe they're genetic. It can make it difficult to communicate or work together because the framework of your entire world contradicts one another.
     
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  6. slant

    slant Ruby Adoraboobie

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    It's hard to express that point of view without coming across as contradictory, but at the same time, that's part of it. It's hard to be an absurdist and hold two points of views or more at the same time and realize they are all wrong because nothing is real. A real mind fuck that results in these situations because I'm human and the human mind forces us to have opinions
     
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  7. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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    All options travel the same road to the same end

    Or something
     
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  8. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    This is timely because I am in a situation right now that has been a dilemma to me.

    For starters, I am working with a person who is doing a very poor job. In the construction industry, documents keep track of the progress to ensure the delivery of the project. This person i am working with failed to record any of it and has even falsified documents to look like work had been accomplished although untrue. In the end, the contractor was able to bill far more than the job they have accomplished.

    For one, this person is old and is unfamiliar with the rigors of the construction industry but was given the job because of camaraderie. Was it wrong of me to call out his actions? I also demoted him.

    By the way, before demotion, I tried to intervene and show him a process that should be applied but he blatantly refused, several times.

    There is also a pattern of protecting the contractor, which is undoubtedly foul to me. Should I not call it out?
     
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  9. slant

    slant Ruby Adoraboobie

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    You're only wrong if you think you were wrong. You have to follow your own morals and values.
     
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  10. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Yes and in this situation, I chose to reprimand despite my knowing he cannot do anything about his incompetence. Sometimes, we have to make hard punishments on actions that are simply unacceptable. I think I do it to be understood more than to coerce others. However in the organization, the mission and the goal is often clarified and so decisions are based on these core values.
     
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  11. slant

    slant Ruby Adoraboobie

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    I'm glad for you following your individual truth and purpose!
     
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  12. OP
    noisebloom

    noisebloom theory conspirer
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    I'm guessing Fe types in general (Dom, Aux, Tertiary, or Inferior) are not likely to subscribe to purely relativist notions, because the very idea of harmony for all within a system assumes that there's a common standard for how people should be treated. This is why Fe types "care" so much about others' behavior and are wary of deviations from the norm when it comes to behavior.
     
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  13. slant

    slant Ruby Adoraboobie

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    We all have this to a degree. It's tribalism; it's knowing that if you are rejected by the tribe, that's suicide. So we maintain basic societal standards to try to keep the tribe together.

    The degree to which you do it and how seriously you take it though differs.
     
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  14. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Lol
     
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  15. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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    I like to sit outside the tribe and play whack-a-mole
     
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  16. Cornerstone

    Cornerstone Well-known member

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    Careful. You'll go blind if you do it too much.
     
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  17. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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    You're not wrong lol
     
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  18. GreenTea

    GreenTea Community Member

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    Well, I know people who worked in IT who left the companies they work for to work for themselves. They have no coworkers to deal with and it seems to be going well.
    There could be opportunities out there for you to work alone if you give it some thought.
     
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