how to ask someone out | INFJ Forum

how to ask someone out

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Vegscara, Jun 9, 2009.

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  1. Vegscara

    Vegscara Regular Poster

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    i know this is stupid but being an infj and pretty shy I realy haveno idea how to ask a girl out or even get her phone number. She is extremely extraverted (enfp maby?) and we've been hitting on each other for a while now. School ends in a week and i dont know at 2 do. Any advice would be graciously accepted. Thanks
     
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  2. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    If you've been hitting on each other for awhile now, why don't you just ask her if she wants to go out with you sometime? Think of something snazzy to do and invite her.
     
  3. Silently Honest

    Retired Staff

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    Just ask her. There's no real trick to asking, if she already likes you.
     
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  4. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    All I can tell you is that females are very perceptive when it comes to KNOWING when somebody likes them so if she hasn't been feeling uncomfortable by you hitting her it's the greenlight to go to the next level which varies by the person. Good luck and keep us updated with that.
     
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  5. Lune Froide

    Lune Froide Community Member

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    We are? Oh man...
     
  6. Nausus

    Nausus Community Member

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    I think I missed the memo too..

    Either way, you should just go for it. If you two have been hitting on eachother for a while, she's probably just waiting for you to make the move. Just ask her if she'd like to go to [insert place here] with you sometime.

    Good luck =D
     
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  7. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I'm perceptive about it. I can tell when someone's being an absolute sucker for me. As far as I know, I don't lead them on about it, though. So if she talks to you in a way that you perceive is "hitting on" like I said, ask her out! It's worth taking a chance on seeing if it will work out.
     
  8. OP
    Vegscara

    Vegscara Regular Poster

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    Thanks for the support. But ive only get a week 2 get her number and three to ask her out (im going to ireland for two weeks) so the stress of deadlines are starting 2 get to me. I could go into more detail as far a whats been goin on between us but ill basicly be giving you half my lifes story. If anyone has any good ideas that might help it would be apreciated. peace
     
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  9. Nemo

    Nemo Community Member

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    Seal the exits so she can't run away when you ask her.
     
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  10. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    It takes two seconds to say, "Would you like to do something sometime? Could I call you?" In the span of one week, I'd say time is on your side.
     
  11. OP
    Vegscara

    Vegscara Regular Poster

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    ...
     
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  12. OP
    Vegscara

    Vegscara Regular Poster

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    Im goin to but but ill check this tread tomoro so keep posting
     
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  13. Lune Froide

    Lune Froide Community Member

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    This may have been your first mistake. Just saying. Aren't guys more likely to be perceptive?We both may be misinformed.
     
    #13 Lune Froide, Jun 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2009
  14. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    some girls are definately very perceptive about whether or not someone is interested. however, not all are and not all the time.

    Vegscara, what have you got to lose? if you're already 'hitting on each other' then by all means you should go for it.

    usually, we exaggerate negativity in our own mind so readily that it may be far more frightening than what would happen in reality.

    i know it can be daunting to imagine the possibilities of her reply, but really, the worst she can do is say no.
     
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  15. Nemo

    Nemo Community Member

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    See, that's your problem, you've set your goal too high. Try aiming at something a little easier to accomplish, like finding a cure for cancer or bringing about world peace.
     
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  16. poeticinfp

    poeticinfp Newbie

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    To the OP: Just do something casual. Like hanging out at your favorite spot in the park wearing casual clothes.

    Do not try to do a "formal" dinner at a fancy restaurant, especially since you mentioned that you two already seem to get along fine.

    Women tend to fall into a certain mode when they are on the formal, fancy restaurant dinner date. Something comes over them in that setting, and they are more likely to see flaws and they would overlook positives that they would see under a more casual setting.
     
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  17. WhiteWolf

    WhiteWolf Community Member

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    I have only asked out 1 girl (I think she was an enfj or enfp)
    It turned out to be that she was just "being nice" in her point of view.... long story...

    But just go for it.
     
  18. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Exactly. There's no universal (much to the dismay of all relationship experts) trick to 'court' any women. Just gotta man up, don't like what 'could' happen stop you.
     
  19. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    Hi, Vegscara. :) So my question for you is are you asking us to help you come up with possible date ideas to ask her out on? Or just a way of telling her that you're more interested in her than just friends and you want to take another step in getting to know her?

    If you're asking for the the first then I would agree on going with the more casual approach. But you're the one who has been getting to know this girl right? So what is she interested in? And are these things similar to your tastes? If so, then go with and build on that. If she likes something that you don't really know much about, but would be willing to learn about, then you could try something like that putting her in her comfort zone. My favorite date was simply going for a walk through my favorite part of town and talking for hours, because I love walking and I was in a comfortable environment. ( I don't know if I'm helping... )

    Okay, if you want to know how to go about asking her out or for her number, well you can use your limited time to your advantage. Tell her you think she's nice and would really like to stay in touch with her after school is out. Then give her your number and tell her to call you sometime and when you give her your number ask her if you can have her number as well. Do you have a cell phone? If so then it's good to have it in hand when having this conversation, in a really casual manner. Breathe. Relax. Be yourself. If this girl has been flirting with you than chances are she digs your shy introverted vibe. So don't stray from the you she's used to. I can't stress being yourself enough.

    Then when you finally call her, mention the Ireland trip and tell her it would be cool to hang out before you leave. Maybe tell her you'd like her to help you pick something out for your trip, so she feels like she's helping you and you get the bonus of spending time with her...

    Gosh, I hope I helped a little. If you give more details maybe I can help more. Good luck hon. :) :hug:
     
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  20. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    "Want to go to a movie around six tonight, and maybe grab a bite to eat after?"
     
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