How easy is it to ask for what you want? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

How easy is it to ask for what you want?

I try not to want anything too strongly or at least not be attached to whether I get something or not.
I mean what is something that someone absolutely must have?
Having said this, in a strange way things sometimes just come my way, and at other times, things are taken from me.
If I need help I am not afraid to ask. I've found that people are generally very generous in spirit in helping.
I'm not comfortable in asking others for anything in regards to possessions or money. So I avoid asking, mainly to avoid any stress that may arise out of the interaction. Although if I really need something I ask my brother and he always helps me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: James and Sandie33
I can ask for things I need, much more easily than things I just want. I try to keep the things "I want" to a minimum. I'm usually a little uncomfortable asking people for things, if I think it will inconvenience them. If it was something important to me, I don't like to have to ask for it, I'd want to be able to obtain or get whatever it was for myself.

I usually try to plan and organise so that I don't need to ask others. E.g. I very rarely ask directions, I try to plan my journey and map it out all it ahead of time. But if someone volunteers some help or advice or whatever to me, provided it's not with "strings" attached, I'd accept it gratefully and try to repay the favor later on.

At work if I needed things I would approach others and ask them, but kept that to a minimum, and always made clear that I would want to reciprocate. I was rarely declined what I'd asked for.

I think if you try to show people you want to be fair, they are more inclined to help you. But if you bother people, repeatedly ask for things, and are then unappreciative, I think even the kindest people get tired of that quickly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sandie33
^ And are you likely to get it? Are you usually pretty assertive most of the time or only assertive when you really want something?

A lot of times when I ask, I likely get what I need, or am looking for, or a helpful answer. It is just mustering up the courage and confidence to ask sometimes. Sometimes I debate whether to ask or not, but I end up asking it if I really want something. Sometimes I have family members giving me that courage to ask, but it is the courage I need. Once I get that courage, I ask.

At other times, I am very assertive and will ask away if I know something rightfully should be mine or should be done and I am likey to get it. I think I am a mixed-bag. Assertive when I really want something and kind of nervous and ashamed to ask for something when I don't have strong feelings of likey getting it, but as stated above, it, however, works in my favor though.

Also, one of my friends says.... YOU WON'T GET ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ASK!
 
  • Like
Reactions: j654dgj7 and Gaze
^ And are you likely to get it? Are you usually pretty assertive most of the time or only assertive when you really want something?

Its easy for me, I can be blunt when I need to be. I am not assertive most of the time though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gaze
To a degree, we all have to sell ourselves. While this might take away, somewhat, from genuine intent, we all must put forth our strengths. It always puzzles me when some people talk about how they're unhealthy. While becoming fully healthy is a challenge, becoming "average" does not take as much effort.

So for me, I have learned, over the years, how to better sell myself to get things I desire. That said, I've also improved myself to show I'm worth getting what I desire. Being fake and glib can only get a person so far; as I used to be. Learning to care about others and showing competency is something that shows through. At this point in my life, I'm confident I can sell myself to most people I meet. I'm still working on improving what I've yet to develop as far as people skills go and work ethic.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ryso89
I usually ask about two or three days after such a thing is no longer possible...

Yup... Seems about right!