Featured [ESTP] How Do You Handle Passive Aggression?

Whaat? I was speaking generally - I meant 'one's strengths'.

You're crazy if you think that was aimed at you.

 

Votes are interesting though. Over 80 percent say they stomp it out immediately.

Doesn't align with my experience at all. Not many people are quick to confront.

 

I voted to stomp it out asap, but it really depends on why it is being done as such verses the person just coming forth and stating what is on their mind. There could be any number of reasons someone is afraid to vocalize their thoughts. I take a mental note and attempt to work on getting that person to communicate over time.

 

My usual response to passive aggression is to try to confront their behavior immediately, however, if I know this person is someone who generally does their best, I try to work with it and find a way to meet them in the middle. ie. they have something they need to get across, and may not feel they have permission to.

However, passive aggressive people usually want to maintain the perception of being "pleasant" and it may conflict with their needs and because they may not feel the right to assert their way vocally, they rather turn it into a situation where the other party feels is in the wrong. ie. "it's not a me problem, it's a you problem" rather than, "this is just how I operate and have no shame in telling you". Though, I don't think they intend to come across that way and may have a lot of anxiety about confrontation.

I think, if it weren't for my sensitivity, I could even see passive aggression behaviors as just someone trying to be pleasant and just go on about my day not realizing someone has an issue with something. However, in a recent situation, the person in question made a joke and something felt off about it, I felt maybe that they were not ok with something. Then I gently asked them about it via text, if they were ok about it. After many texts, this person did eventually say they were not ok with something, and I complied according to their wishes and thanked them for stating what they needed.

 

Hahah, that's the spirit Pin!

 

With compassion

 

Narcissism and hubris seem to power the need to engage in passive aggression, ad hominems, and that entire category of consequence-free ego bolstering.

 

To add to this, I think there are also some cultures (generally where serious aggression isn't possible, like on the internet or in fairly affluent areas) that consider aggression to be a "face-losing" response, showing that you lack the confidence required to just brush insults aside, or that you're not someone the other kids want to play with, so to speak. That's why people use the phrases "mad" and "triggered" as owns in those areas. In my personal life as well, there have been times when my getting mad at someone and confronting them actually got me in more trouble than not doing so would have, and lost me respect.

You're incentivized to be a smug asshole, more or less.

I think the best response often is not so much not to respond but to respond with as little emotion as possible. Then people's egos don't get pricked, and you can deal with the thing.

 

You call it out and watch em squirm.

 

Who is this? He made an account, trolled the forum, and got banned all while I was taking a nap.

 

My thoughts exactly.
We hardly knew ye.

This forum represents a different sample pool. Or maybe, people feel they're more proactive about it than they are. Perhaps people don't spot it as efficiently as you do.
It's probably many reasons. I wish there were studies now, maybe there is somewhere.

 

My view is similar to Wyote's:

It's sometimes not easy to stomp it out even if you want to. You may think for a long time that it is all in your mind, i.e. give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

 

Or.... *dramatic drumroll* Wyodrunk Histashrooms