[ESTP] - How Do You Handle Passive Aggression? | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

[ESTP] How Do You Handle Passive Aggression?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by SpecialEdition, Jan 21, 2021.

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  1. Stomp it out immediately

    12 vote(s)
    63.2%
  2. Wait for an opportunity to confront later

    2 vote(s)
    10.5%
  3. Cry

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Starve the passive aggressor of attention

    7 vote(s)
    36.8%
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I know, power dynamics suck so much sometimes.
     
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  2. Synergos

    Synergos Community Member

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    After 20 years of narcissistic abuse (I feel very dumb about it) I learned how to ignore this type of behaviour...
     
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  3. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / Baroque Spinoza / ≅ INFP

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    Oh hi Syn! :m057:

    No time no see. Hope you've been keeping well.
     
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  4. Wyote

    Wyote (#/-\[]$ ([]`/[]'|'[-
    Staff Member Administrator

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  5. Sethaiel

    Sethaiel Newbie

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    While I'm far more patient when passive-aggressiveness is directed towards me; I loathe it when I see it done to others. It feels like manipulation to me
     
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  6. Roses In The Vineyard

    Roses In The Vineyard Permanent Fixture

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    This is one of the most loathsome attributes that people can have and one that greatly despise however I don't confront it often especially on the job but I do love seeing such rubbish suffer while the visible rage eats them from the inside out.

    Voted to starve them of attention.
     
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  7. GreenTea

    GreenTea Community Member

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    I rarely confront it. The times I did it only had an effect in the short term and they soon returned to their old patterns of behaviour. So I leave them be.

    At work it's a little easier to deal with. I do my best to overlook passive aggression and continue to speak pleasantly to them. I aim to be undisturbed by their behaviour and focus on doing a good job.

    In family its more challenging. But I do try to not give much attention to passive aggression. My focus is more on how I can be at peace than on their behaviour.
     
  8. milo

    milo Regular Poster

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    I can't really remember the last time I've noticed someone being passive aggressive. I don't think it's really something worth looking out for as they're usually minor things and sometimes the other person isn't even trying to be passive aggressive; it's just a difference in preference for doing things. I'd rather stay on my high horse of being emotionally undisturbed; if they're doing it maliciously it says more about them then it does me. I very rarely make the effort to confront people about their behavior as I rarely find that they have any interest or capability to change it.
     
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  9. just me

    just me GONE

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    Depends on the degree of violence, or the degree of insolence and where it is. Also depends on the victim.
    Knew, and tried helping, a guy that was partially crazy many years ago. He would sometimes throw a tantrum and break things. Wonder how he is. His problems were larger than my first aid kit I had to offer.
     
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    #69 just me, Jan 24, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2021
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  10. Korg

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    I learned a long time ago that people are going to behave like this no matter what I do, though some of my actions encourage it more than others. It is literally impossible to live life in a deliberate way while avoiding this response from others.

    I don't care and don't think about it until they begin to push me. Then I either address it directly without drama or make them look stupid in public if they don't stop.
     
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  11. April

    April Well-known member

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    It depends. I usually ask for clarification. Try to make them say directly what their issue is. Is this calling it out directly? Idk. I'm still learning. <3
     
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  12. Synergos

    Synergos Community Member

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  13. OP
    SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    Some honest answers here. Thanks for participating.
     
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  14. Synergos

    Synergos Community Member

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    Thanks for the opportunity to talk about this!
     
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  15. Synergos

    Synergos Community Member

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    Hi Ren! Miss u all. Sometimes watch your channel on YouTube! Hope u r safe (all u)!
     
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  16. Alexithymia

    Alexithymia Regular Poster

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    #76 Alexithymia, Jan 27, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2021
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  17. John K

    Donor

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    Some interesting responses here. The video @Synergos posted is very definitely food for thought.

    It might be worth exploring more deeply the context in which the problem is occurring. You mentioned the difference between work and more social situations for example. That led me to think about the context of where the manifest power lies within the situation. I think every parent will have experienced passive aggressive behaviour from their children for example. That’s a natural response of the child to the overwhelming power of the parent. They need to be brought gently away from this sort of behaviour - but of course direct confrontation of a toddler won’t work lol. It’s not simple - an older child may be responding passive aggressively, in the only way they can, to an unreasonable, bullying and self centred parent who will leave them scarred for life.

    This imbalance of power exists throughout life in less extreme forms. The caricature of a bullying manager is sadly all too common in reality. Bullying can be as subtle as the passive aggressive behaviour which can be symptomatic of it. This is a real problem in the work environment and a good senior manager will check a subordinate supervisor is not a narcissistic bully before taking steps further down the line to deal with any passive aggression inside their subordinate’s team. A good headmaster will check out the teacher before dealing with a child in their class.

    On a rather different note - a policy of waiting to see is a good one if I think I’m on the receiving end of this kind of aggression. It’s easy for sensitive intuitives in particular to join up the dots prematurely and see ghosts. If we respond forcefully to a ghost then we may put ourselves badly in the wrong and create a row with someone completely innocent.
     
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  18. TedyBo

    TedyBo Lucky

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    I like to ride my motorcycle, it helps to relax. My work is unfortunately associated with stress.
     
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  19. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    I tend to take the route of least annoyance. What someone thinks of me doesn't mean anything unless their actions manifest into something bothersome.
     
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  20. Alexithymia

    Alexithymia Regular Poster

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    I feel bad about my this.

    what I wanted say is, if passive aggressive behaviour is directed at me, I shrug it off. It doesn’t effect me at all, and I like thinking that it’s Possibly eating at them inside because they are incapable of the confrontation they seem to crave but tip toe around.

    If I see it directed at someone I care about, I call the person out on their behaviour, and I have no issue dishing back their poison.

    I find people who use passive aggressive tactics to lack backbone and unable to own up to their dislike or feelings, and I have no respect for that. I find it cowardly.

    if you don’t want to directly express your dislike and own it, then withhold it.
     
    #80 Alexithymia, Feb 8, 2021
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2021
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