How do you feel about cat calling? | INFJ Forum

How do you feel about cat calling?

Gaze

Gaze

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Depending on how obnoxious it is it could range from anywhere between harmless and total harassment.

My general sentiment is this though, even though it's about phone calling and not cat calling.

[video=youtube;PPXVGIMwzns]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPXVGIMwzns[/video]
 
It happens more than people think, although, they are less offensive in general now than they were when I was a kid. I find it flattering to be noticed if it is done in a nice way, like Hey Gorgeous! If they mention body parts or sex acts... No. I am all Thelma and Louise.
 
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Any unwanted advances are always "terrible" and all wanted advancements are always "welcome", meaning it depends on who the cat caller is. Very subjective.
 
^ Pretty much

I have been with women and they've gotten it a lot in one night. From cars, from passers-by, from across the road...it was ridiculous!

I felt bad for one, she said it happens all the time. It my was schoolfriend's girlfriend at the time and she was very pretty but...still. It was too much.

Not cat-calling or wolf-whistling either. Bizarrely, more than one thought to say "Nice hat...and nice ass" in totally separate instances. That was kind of funny.

I never do it but I reckon I could get away with it by The's rationale if it weren't for my crazy eyes.
 
the said:
Any unwanted advances are always "terrible" and all wanted advancements are always "welcome", meaning it depends on who the cat caller is. Very subjective.
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Well maybe some times but in general I think the approach is pretty scummy no matter who does it.

I'd hardly say a cat call is an advance. It's kind of pathetic actually. I don't think it does anyone any favors. Just maybe with some people in some cases the overbearing lameness of it gets ignored.
 
hidden goPro shows this in NYC. i'd be pretty annoyed after awhile were i a woman.

[video=youtube;b1XGPvbWn0A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A[/video]
 
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rawr said:
hidden goPro shows this in NYC. i'd be pretty annoyed after awhile were i a woman.
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This is what happens to me almost everyday on my commute around NYC. This is eerily accurate about what I go through. I even wear "crappy clothes" to school or just workout clothes because I'm sick of being cat called. It does happen less when I do though. Some guys seriously don't have any respect for someone's personal space... like those two guys who followed her for more than 2 minutes. It's harassment and no one cares to even do anything about it... that's the sickest thing to me. And a lot of guys like that think its fine to try to make a woman feel like a piece of meat and stalk her until she talks.

I've had instances where I'm out, dressed up with my girlfriends, and we're walking down the street and guys scream "Hey beautiful, nice boobies!" or "Dayum girl, you got curves for days!". Like... my body is not on display for you. I've even had someone pull over, stop their car and roll down their window to make a comment about my boobs or whatever and... I don't even show off my body.

It's super annoying. In fact, It honestly ruins my day because I feel so uncomfortable and violated. :/ Now I just put on sunglasses and walk fast.
 
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I couldn't watch the video. It is a weird thing to have happen repeatedly, especially as you are supposed to take it as a compliment. I have been followed and grabbed as well.
 
o_q said:
I like being cat called when I'm in drag. If only they knew.
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I like cat calling you when you are in drag, honey.
 
rawr said:
hidden goPro shows this in NYC. i'd be pretty annoyed after awhile were i a woman.

[video=youtube;b1XGPvbWn0A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A[/video]
Click to expand...

It makes sense to me from a rational standpoint. It's probably annoying for everyone involved. I'm interested in the success rate of cat calling. If it never works I would reconsider my thoughts on the matter.
 
Context plays a part; if it was at, say, a club (or any environment the encourages "mingling"), then cat calling is harmless and probably even appropriate.

But as for a pedestrian walking down the street... that's an area difficult to draw lines in.

the said:
Any unwanted advances are always "terrible" and all wanted advancements are always "welcome", meaning it depends on who the cat caller is. Very subjective.
Click to expand...

This, and if the... call-ee? ... person being called doesn't mind. So really cat calling is a gamble and some take it too far, that becomes harassment.
 
Honestly, I can't say I wouldn't mind a cat call, if it wasn't meant to be rude or said in a creepy, slimy way :D. Of course, anything that smells of harassment such as stalk-walking beside someone and cars stopping to cat call, or making comments about body parts clearly crosses the line. However, I don't think anything is distasteful about giving someone a few compliments, but I can understand it can be annoying when it's overdone. Clearly, if someone is uncomfortable, something should kick in which says, "I should probably stop since it's making the person feel weird, and is clearly unwanted attention." But there are women who don't mind it and use some kind of witty barb or comeback to put someone in their place, while others joke it off because they don't take it seriously. It can be annoying, but it seems to depend on how people take it. Others ignore it, but simply ignoring the cat caller doesn't always work. In any case, if it seems you're making the person feel creeped out and uncomfortable, then you probably shouldn't do it. There's really nothing else to it. A person's right to be left alone trumps the right to cat call.
 
pics said:
Honestly, I can't say I wouldn't mind a cat call, if it wasn't meant to be rude or said in a creepy, slimy way :D. Of course, anything that smells of harassment such as stalk-walking beside someone and cars stopping to cat call, or making comments about body parts clearly crosses the line. However, I don't think anything is distasteful about giving someone a few compliments, but I can understand it can be annoying when it's overdone. Clearly, if someone is uncomfortable, something should kick in which says, "I should probably stop since it's making the person feel weird, and is clearly unwanted attention." But there are women who don't mind it and use some kind of witty barb or comeback to put someone in their place, while others joke it off because they don't take it seriously. It can be annoying, but it seems to depend on how people take it. Others ignore it, but simply ignoring the cat caller doesn't always work. In any case, if it seems you're making the person feel creeped out and uncomfortable, then you probably shouldn't do it. There's really nothing else to it. A person's right to be left alone trumps the right to cat call.
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Well yes. Anything can be overdone.

Just like there's nothing wrong with saying "Hi" to a random person but if you were to be obnoxious about it that changes things. Also if they did it every two seconds for five hours. You'd probably get off murder charges if you killed them. Temporary insanity. (or even self defense lol)
 
Generally if you had a universal translator installed on a man doing a cat call it would sound like this... "Hey I want to fuck you so how can I get your attention?"

Cat calls are not compliments for women to take with a smile. Compliments are usually given in very different settings and in normal conversations.
 
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Having this conversation on Facebook right now. An old high school friend I never really knew posted that video [MENTION=2240]rawr[/MENTION] put up and his comment was this: I don't understand this at all. Every single person in this video complimented her. How exactly does that fall under harassment? (Minus the creepy dude who followed her for 5 minutes)

Now to give you some context, my old high school friend is a gay male. I'm gonna post the conversation with the first letter of the posters names. S is the gay guy from high school.

I was the first to reply:
Me:Those aren't compliments, that is a mans passive aggressive way of telling a woman he wants to have sex with her and she should want to have sex with him too. Women do this too but men are more aggressive and women are more at risk of being raped. Walking on the street having strange men make comments like that is creepy as hell and it's something that women have every right to be paranoid or fearful about.

S:The implications are obvious but that still doesnt make it harassment. It's also broad daylight so chances of her being raped are slim. Had this been a situation like work or late at night, you might have a case. For me, this is ridiculous.

A: I agree Stephen, she walks, she's pretty, she gets compliments. Women see men who are good looking walking down the street and think the same thing, but the way society has shaped us makes it less likely for women to voice their opinions out loud. Just because a man voices his opinion about a woman's looks doesn't make him a rapist.

S: Alex, you're an intelligent woman.

A: Thanks :)

S: And pretty, too. Oops, now I'm a rapist.

A: Lol!

S: I'm fearing for my life bahaha

A: Haha

C: It seems like men are very friendly in NY...but it is a little freaky when men start making comments about the way one looks. Makes you very self conscious and you always think twice about what to wear. I myself don't like that extra attention from men I don't know. (I've had a stalker and that's how it started I was naive and gave him my number.)

S: Don't fear men. I don't. I just roll my eyes and walk the other way when a fugly guy hits on me.

C: I don't..just that MF lol he did some creepy things. Ugh I'm ready to call the cops or have my husband beat him up if I ever see him again.

A: I just have the "boys will be boys" mentality. Yes, there is extreme cat calling and harassment, but most of the guys in this video were just giving compliments. She was the bitch that didn't say thank you lol

So lets recap: they took what I said in the context of any male who hits on a woman is a rapist. A gay male is telling women to not fear men. Oh, and boys will be boys.

This conversation makes my head hurt way too much -_-
 
pics said:
How do you feel about cat calling? Do you think of it as a form of abuse? Or Do you think it's innocent or harmless comments or teasing?

Here's the link to the story which inspired this discussion?

http://www.people.com/article/street-harassment-hidden-camera-nyc
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If that happened in my city, people would call the cops/security on those guys right away. (I know this is true because I've had a lot of people stand up for me when this would happen on the train/street before). Oh, the perks of living in a small city xD.

Can't believe it's that bad over there. My sister told me it happened to her when she was in New York once she got separated in the crowd from her boyfriend. There's a fine line between a nice compliment and harassment.. >_>". You can see that a lot of the guys in that video have major self-esteem issues. A lot of them tell her "You should learn to be more thankful," "Do you not want me because I'm ugly?" Damn, I feel really bad for the women of New York to have to go through this even when dressed no where near provocatively.

I did have an incident where the same thing happened to me and I did not respond and the cat callers decided to verbally abuse me by swearing at me. What's the point in all of that? Of course I'll appreciate a modest and sweet compliment and thank them for it, but when it pushes the boundaries and they say things like "Damn, nice titties" or something like that really crosses the line and it's really embarrassing.

Maybe these men grew up around this behaviour and are trying to fulfill the role they believe they're supposed to? Either way, it's disturbing.
 
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