How do I get along with my mum?

My mum is a ENFJ.

We have a tendency to argue allot with each other. My mum always thinks that she's right and if anything goes missing or wrong she blames me first. She makes me late for work, and every time I try to drive to work she panics thinking that I'm going to crash her car. She never lets me drive (I have never crashed once btw)

She always leaves without telling me (which makes me late for school and work) usually I don't have enough time to walk to work or school because we live out 10 minutes drive from those locations (which works out 50 minutes walking time) being late gets me into trouble.

She disapproves of me doing things such as going to the gym, martial arts, eatting healthy (strangely enough) She says it costs to much. I pay for allot of this out of my own money. When I correct her on that she just tells me its a waste of money.

She is always saying to me that I won't make it in the film industry, which I find very discouraging and heart breaking. I love film, words cannot express how much I enjoy it.

I feel there is a small part of her that wan'ts to care for me but most of the time its shadowed by her disapproval of what I do.

Me and her were close when I was young (around when I was 8 years old) But then she started turning sour towards me when I was 13.

She is hardly around anymore. I see her for a few hours a day.

All I want is to be with my mother but she has always pushed me back. Its almost like there is some sort of wall there.



The last time I remember giving her hug was when I was 9 years old before the death on my younger sister. I want to be able to give my mother a hug but there is a part of me that can't.

I have always felt like I'm an object or a chess piece with her. She keeps telling me to get over myself or grow up. I feel like a little kid, a lost little kid walking with along side a stranger as far as me and my mother goes. I'm not the only one in my family that feels like that towards her (most of my sisters do)

All I wan't is for her to love me and to be proud of me and to support me. You know, like what most mothers should do.

I hear so many people tell me that they think their mother is annyoing because they wan't to give them a hug or they talk about how wonderful they are, sometimes I see their mothers come in with their lunch for the day!

It makes me upset.

I say to them "Well at least your mother gives a damn! My mother tells me to F off!" (which she does)

She occasionally does that uptown as well, which embarrasses me.

At the university she attends they call her "mum" shes really friendly around them. Quite motherly.

Why?

 

So she's doing that because she loves me?

I don't understand. She treats other people like she is their mother.

My younger sister died when I was 9 years old. She was only an infant. Was there enough time for her to build that connection with her?

I don't know If this has anything to do with it but she told me that she looked like me when I was a baby.

Here is another element that might be in play. My mother keeps telling me that she is like her mother. My mother lost two of her brothers, one from a over dose and I think the other was shot.

She told me that her mother was cold towards her (in the similar fashion to how she's cold towards me) except her mother would beat her (my mother did too in the past when I was a child)

I'm still a tad confused.

 

I intend too. I am making plans to move to either Canada or Japan so I can work on my film career. I feel bad though for walking away.