Help in approaching | INFJ Forum

Help in approaching

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Jana, Dec 5, 2009.

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  1. Jana

    Jana Searching...

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    I know typing can be hard and I know that type is not a person, but knowing about MBTI I like to use it in dealing with people (not as only instrument, but as interesting and rather helpful one).
    So, I have new coworker at work. I would like to help her, because it's obvious she needs help, but she does not see that and she does not how to ask for one. I usually don't have problems in approachung people, but now I do. For example, I can't have be sure of MBTI type, so I need your opinions.
    Some tips, I won't tell my MBTI opinion, because I want fresh look:)
    1. Intelligent, likes theories, but has unfocused thinking (very unfocused), with digressions (big digressions).
    2. Enthusiastic, idealistic, little bit childish, but she don't see reality sometimes. And rather undiscplined, time is somehow irrelevant for her, Can be easily "lost in time and space" (being late etc.). But she is very strict, she has attitude, but I think she could be a little intolerant.
    3. I am not sure if it is E or I. As if she leaves in own world. Sometimes she does not pay attention to other people at work, she just say or does what she ittended, like saying thinks that are not wise to say:)
    4. She has problems with picking up models of behaviour in work place. You know, I first scan people and only when I learn something about them and their habits, I show I little more of myself. So, people react strange to her and she is not aware of that and probably would not know why she has problems.
    5.I would like to approach her to help, but I think she does not get the problems and advices.
    So, your opinion. What type she could be, how to approach her?
     
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    #1 Jana, Dec 5, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
  2. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    I'll make a guess. INFP. The strengths particularly, that you mention seem to point to that.

    How to approach her? With kindness and sincerity, which i'm sure you would do anyway. Focus on her strengths, compliment (but only genuinely) the things you admire about her and help build up her self-esteem that way. That's pretty much a guide to dealing with anyone you want to befriend, regardless of type. :)
     
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  3. OP
    Jana

    Jana Searching...

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    My thoughts was also INFP or ENFP. But two INFPs I know are far more better with people that this one. I am also trying to be nice and kind, and I comliment in mentioned way, but from the beginning I have to keep myself from yelling: Don't do that, not yet and not in that way!
    I know that people don't like to hear what they should do from almost strangers, but I have such need to do something like that. But, I know she would feel bad if I do that.
     
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  4. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    This here sounds more ENFP than INFP. Overall, I don't feel secure enough to guess correctly from the given information.

    Why should the knowledge about her MBTI type influence your approach to her? I'd say trust your intuition and just be honest and tell her your concerns. (;


    edit:
    If she is anything like me, she wouldn't mind. She may even thank you.
     
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    #4 enfp can be shy, Dec 5, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
  5. OP
    Jana

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    You are right, I usually do that, but I have feeling that with this person wrong words could be devastating, so I try to see topic from more sides:)
     
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  6. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

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    But if that's the way she is, are you looking to fix her? I don't mean that antagonistically, but could this judgment be in your own head? I don't see anything wrong with letting people be themselves. If you are looking to be a friend, relate to something that she cares about. If you are looking to 'fix' her, be a friendly, good example, and think about why you want to 'fix' her. That's a whole lot of stuff to fix - and maybe her way has worked out for her.
     
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    #6 Moxie, Dec 5, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
  7. OP
    Jana

    Jana Searching...

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    Not fix, just help her to not "snap" at work because if she don't do something, she will overload herself. I saw similar situation. She makes mistakes that can prevent her from having good communications with coworkers and she will be dissapointed. She goes that way. I just see that. We are not friends, I just want to help her because she needs help.
     
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  8. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

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    That's very sweet! Good luck!
     
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  9. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    Are you in a position to talk to her at all? If she is new, then stopping by on occasion and saying "So how's it going?" or "Are you figuring things out okay?" may work if they come off as casual inquiries. At least it would open a door. She, of course would have to walk through it. Bottom line, at the workplace there are lots of different kinds of folks...some make it, some crash and burn. If she is better suited to another work environment, maybe she will need to move on and, in the end, that will be better than holding up a high-wire act. Perhaps she will wind up thriving on her own terms. Maybe her supervisor will have a long chat with her. In any case, I think a friendly gesture wouldn't hurt, but I'd think twice before taking her completely under my wing....at the workplace folks have to stand on their own resources.
     
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