Hello!

hey, you're back

 

Absolutely we do, job interviews almost seem like an introvert filter where the goal is to sell yourself and kiss arse, not natural introvert tasks at all.

 

I've been spending time doing what INFJ's do best; help other people, we're natural protectors of the downtrodden, so I chose to work with the suicidal - to help them see what they cant themselves; it ended today because I got drained very fast and the holiday season is fast upon us; I'm working for the homeless this christmas in London, even though I'm giving up xmas eve and xmas day; it's half/half for selfish reasons - I cant be alone this year...

Who else here get's drained from this type of helping?


A group of us work at a local homeless shelter once a month giving massages. All of us are pretty sensitive and we all get drained. That's why we only go once a month. I think that it eventually energizes me more in the long run though. Because I don't worry about what I should be doing, but instead can concentrate on just doing my best when I am there. I also think that helping is a good social outlet for those of us who squirm at the thought of having to attend a party.

I'm glad your more accepting of yourself these days. Keep it up--your not alone

 

Thanks for posting this.

I've been thinking about this topic lately as it refers to how much of my personality or "nature" I need to accept vs. work on changing. Really looking into the INFJ type (and joining this forum) is helping to make this a bit more clear for me.

In my (gay) community, it seems like the more extroverted and absurdly outgoing your behavior is, the more you're noticed and the more interest others show in you for friendship and potential romantic relationships. Like there's a degree of respect for that and not much value placed on still waters running deep.

The "helping" aspect is a tricky one. I find in my psychotherapy practice that I quite naturally feel intense empathy and compassion for my clients - probably more than most other clinicians who are making an effort to cultivate those things. While that's happening, though, I sometimes have to remind myself that in 20 minutes this client will walk out of the office and the next client will arrive. In fact, I may never see the person again if circumstances interfere in their life.

So I don't "allow" myself to be drained for a number of reasons. But this takes practice. I've felt for a number of years that my role on earth was to alleviate the suffering of others. I know I can't help them stay afloat by taking my life jacket off and handing it to them. I hope this makes sense. lol... it's late.

 

This is a huge stumbling block, you explained it so well. Even as a child my natural inclination was to look away in order to grab thoughts and it was met with disdain and people thought it was rude.
Great post hoodbran.

 

There are a lot of crappy interviewers out there but there are also any number of people working in HR or hiring roles who have at least a basic understanding of typing systems. Part of my job involves hiring and firing people, most who walk in are nervous and struggle to show confidence but because of the position and what I'm looking for 9 times out of 10 I'll hire an introvert despite their nerves.

That said I do agree that introversion can be a sucky disadvantage (at least we don't have extraversionitis, more commonly known as foot-in-mouth disease ). Introverts often have to play a role that doesn’t come naturally, to act extraverted as it were, it’s tiring but socially expected in many situations.

*flops on couch exhausted from portraying a pretend extravert image*

That's the problem methinks, you're the one who suffers but no one sees. Makes me wonder who really puts these expectations on us though, is it parents, teachers at school, our peers, society or our own inner insecurities that make us want to fit in?

Guess the only thing that matters it to find a way to be authentic around others.