Having Fun

Altruistic Muse

Altruistic Muse

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
4?
I have often been described as being "unable to have fun". This is kind of true I suppose. It seems a shame that this is the case, but when I see people partying ALL the time, and having a good laugh but putting nothing in place for themselves it makes me think that they're wasting a lot of time. It seems to me that by doing that you wake up later in your life and think well I've had lots of fun but now that's all done and what else have I got to show for it? I suppose those people would then turn round to me and say yes but you've not had fun and spent the same amount of time worrying about things, and though you've planned how you would like things to turn out it's got you nowhere because life is based on fate or chance and no matter how you play it you'll end up in a similar place. It's a strange one. Maybe i should learn to have fun.....
 
Shai Gar said:
Fate doesn't decide where we end up, We do.
Click to expand...

Everyone has their own idea on this. I disagree because I believe in God but you're entitled to your opinion. What I meant to say, more articulately maybe, was that even if you make plans, you're not entirely in control of the way they work out because other people get in the way. So if I wanted to end up married with kids by the time I'm thirty i can't just decide on this because a lot of different people and scenarios have to go right for this to happen.
 
Fun? What fun?

I'm only capable of having fun if I'm around true friends whom I'm comfortable around- which is never. I can relax though, I do that a lot. I suppose I always feel self conscious or....guilty... when I'm having complete care free fun. I've noticed whenever I start to get too happy I'll do something to bring me down, like look up the holocaust on wikipedia or something. But there are few things in the world that whole heartedly good for you, so I always find an excuse not to completely indulge in being completely happy when do fun activities (what ever the hell they). It's more a case of, what I consider to be fun, no one else does.
 
Shai Gar said:
Fate doesn't decide where we end up, We do.
Click to expand...

We are born with certain genetic traits, in a certain environment, both of which will create a kind of chemical reaction. We have no control over what happens.
 
Yield said:
It's more a case of, what I consider to be fun, no one else does.
Click to expand...

Yes I know what you mean. But I guess maybe my version of fun is to do with stimulation or interest. I like walks on my own, conversations that open another person up, learning about a new town or place. Sitting out talking under the stars etc. Anything that makes my skin tingle and makes me feel like me. It's just that social fun, parties and indulgence sometimes seems a bit vulgar, always drains me, and there are too many niceties and too much fakeness and is everyone just playing at being happy, or even at being themselves? Hmmm. I know what you mean about bringing yourself down if you're happy too. Mine isn't as conscious as yours, I'll just start to get worried and create problems for myself etc if I feel contented.
 
I would love to understand what is fun about parties and all that but I just can't. I was gonna say, the kind of things I like are deep conversations, being with people on a meaningful basis etc. That's enjoyable to me. I guess I could say I enjoy my training but I wouldn't say it's fun.
 
Throw me to the SPs -- I can party with the best of them!

But I can't do it all of the time. I like having a lot of fun, yeah -- but I need to feel some depth as well. I can balance it out alright, most of the time.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
Throw me to the SPs -- I can party with the best of them!

But I can't do it all of the time. I like having a lot of fun, yeah -- but I need to feel some depth as well. I can balance it out alright, most of the time.
Click to expand...

Wow, I should try take a leaf out of your book! When I stop overanalysing, I have learnt that sometimes it is possible to have fun. I have only recently realised that I can dance as well, which makes everything a bit more enjoyable lol. Balance is important, I need to learn it.
 
Yield said:
I would love to understand what is fun about parties and all that but I just can't. I was gonna say, the kind of things I like are deep conversations, being with people on a meaningful basis etc. That's enjoyable to me. I guess I could say I enjoy my training but I wouldn't say it's fun.
Click to expand...

I would enjoy one party every couple of months, minus any niceties, and with people i knew lol. Or at least 80% of peopl I knew. The pressure of makign a good impression on a bunch of people I don't know is too much if I don't at least know some people there like me!
 
Nicola Jane said:
Wow, I should try take a leaf out of your book! When I stop overanalysing, I have learnt that sometimes it is possible to have fun. I have only recently realised that I can dance as well, which makes everything a bit more enjoyable lol. Balance is important, I need to learn it.
Click to expand...

It's good to let your mind chill for a while -- we're prone to trying to find depth in everything, taking care of others, and over-analyzing things before we just enjoy the moment.

It feels good to be able to really lose yourself in the moment occassionally. Dancing is a great way to do that, imo :D Especially if you have some friends that can go crazy with you
 
Nicola Jane said:
I would enjoy one party every couple of months, minus any niceties, and with people i knew lol.
Click to expand...

That sounds good to me!

One thing I can't, won't and never will do is....dance. It is the mostly unnatural, embarrassing and damn right disgusting thing I could ever do to myself. Put a gun to my head and I'd rather get shot.
 
Yield said:
That sounds good to me!

One thing I can't, won't and never will do is....dance. It is the mostly unnatural, embarrassing and damn right disgusting thing I could ever do to myself. Put a gun to my head and I'd rather get shot.
Click to expand...

haha! Me until 2 months ago? I am still a novice to the art, but for some reason all of a sudden, when some suitably cheesy music comes on and I am suitably inebriated I will find myself on the dancefloor these days... has happened a few times and is very strange. But its actually surprisingly enjoyable.
 
Nope, sorry, nothing you can do will ever convice me that dancing is anything but the doing of the devil. I cannot think of ANY circumstance where I would do it.
 
Oh I won't try to convince you Yield, I know exactly how you feel and if you find it embarrassing and unnatural nothing is worse! You're a man so it is much more socially acceptable to sit and watch the dancing!
 
Yield said:
That sounds good to me!

One thing I can't, won't and never will do is....dance. It is the mostly unnatural, embarrassing and damn right disgusting thing I could ever do to myself. Put a gun to my head and I'd rather get shot.
Click to expand...

I can totally relate to that. One of my friends held a party where there was just non-stop music, which everyone would dance to.......and there was me, sat there like a complete donut watching everyone else dance. I mean I like the music, but it just doesn't feel right to dance; it would feel awkward even if I tried. Luckily, I did have a friend who also hates dancing, so we pretty much spent the evening chatting to each other, though it was almost impossible to hear each other because the music was so loud. I sort of wish I never went now! I think I realised then that I hated parties.
 
Last edited:
I'm sure it was good experience though! We used to do line dancing when I was in year 5 of primary school. They made me do a Ricky Martin impression in the final year show... :Cry:
Oh the nightmares....the nightmares.... (shudders)

But I do physical actitvites that a lot of other people would find extremely embarrassing and uncomfortable themselves so that makes me feel better. Okay that sounds kind of weird but i mean training and sports....

:boxing:
 
Last edited:
Yield said:
Nope, sorry, nothing you can do will ever convice me that dancing is anything but the doing of the devil. I cannot think of ANY circumstance where I would do it.
Click to expand...

hmm you can't even imagine how many HOT girls are looking for a dance partner in a local dance club. Male female ratio is somewhere 1 to 10. So that's one very good reason to join.

And once you learn a few steps dancing is really a vertical expression of some things people want to do horizontally ;)

I really hated dancing during my school years but taking lessons as adult was one of the best activities I've ever had.
 
Tamagochi said:
hmm you can't even imagine how many HOT girls are looking for a dance partner in a local dance club. Male female ratio is somewhere 1 to 10. So that's one very good reason to join.

And once you learn a few steps dancing is really a vertical expression of some things people want to do horizontally ;)

I really hated dancing during my school years but taking lessons as adult was one of the best activities I've ever had.
Click to expand...

Nope, I'm not falling for that cheap one!
 
hmmm fun!!! well as a non drinker I have adapted reasonably well with going out on the club scene, if its a load club I just dance all the time and when I'm out with people I get along with I talk shit and dance! havent said that when out with my best friends conversations do get quite deep and interesting!

I usually have the most fun when climbing a hill with some mates, going bowling or to a comedy gig, unfortunately all extraverted activities!

My advice is that not all clubs are the same some have an air of sophistication (Thats probably 3 out of the 35 clubs Ive been in)

My advice is to find something that you like that you can meet other people in and take it from there!

Hill walking club? or God forbid a book club!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top