Have You Ever Tried To Fake Being An Extrovert?

[VH]

I'm mostly left-handed, except when I play the guitar or use utensils. Why, what does tell you? I thought there was no such thing as "left brain" or "right brain".

Technically, no there isn't. However, the brain tends to store types of memories in either hemisphere. The right and left brain assumptions came from loss of these sorts of capacities when parts of the brain were damaged in patients. Think of the outer part of the brain like a pair of hard drives, the limbic system the motherboard and RAM, and the cingulate system the processor. If a hard drive gets corrupted areas, certain softwares can stop working if their files were in those areas. In time, the software can be reloaded somewhere else.

That being the case, it's starting to appear that certain functions tend to reside geographically in either hemisphere. Te is left frontal lobe, while Fe is right frontal lobe. Si seems to show a tendency for left hemisphere activity, while Se shows the opposite. Ti and Fi seem to reside in both hemispheres nearer to the center of the brain. There tends to be a correlation between handedness and hemisphere activity. However, about half of all 'lefties' are actually ambi-hemisphered, rather than predominantly right hemisphere users. It sounds like you're one of us. That would imply that as an INTJ, you've likely got a fair amount of Te (left frontal lobe) and Se (right hemisphere sensory regions) development to augment your Ni dominant cingulate system which seeks to synchronize all of your cerebral activity if possible (and is apparently succeeding in your case).

 

[#@&5&49]

learn how to at least appear more outgoing and assert yourself before you have time to doubt what you're doing.

That's funny. Hurry up and get it out before I hear myself!

I am extremely introverted. When first starting out in my career I was literally pushed out onto a stage in front of roughly 75 people and told to "talk about the organization I worked for". I had no preparation, did not know I was going to be doing this, and had never talked in front of a crowd of that size before. I took one look at this audience and froze. I thought I was going to throw up. I then looked back at my boss, considered my paycheck and bills that needed to be paid, opened my mouth and started saying anything that came to mind about this organization.

After it was over I thought I was having a stroke. The bizarre thing is when I finished, people were applauding. Several asked me to speak at their organizations meetings and my boss received several phone calls asking me to speak at even more organizations. To my complete and total amazement I was actually good at this. BUT what it takes for me to do this is profoundly draining - it literally takes everything I have. Sometimes public speaking makes me feel like a little gazelle being eaten by a group of hungry tigers. It takes a long, long time for me to recover from it when I do it. My audiences always seem to get so much out of it but it takes so much out of me. These days I still do public speaking but not nearly as much and I choose when, where, and with whom I do this for.

How strangely ironic it is to be so truly introverted but have the gift of public speaking.

 

[Apone]

How strangely ironic it is to be so truly introverted but have the gift of public speaking.

Good for you, though!

I can totally relate to this-- maybe it's because people who are more inward-looking tend to mull over things and make them much bigger than they are, so by the time they actually end up having to do them, they're a nervous wreck. I used to think my boss was springing things on me on purpose, actually-- I will never forget the day he called me up the night before and said 'Oh by the way we're putting you on TV tomorrow so dress nice!'... the first time went so well that I ended up being their TV appearance guy-- they just sprung it on me every time, and eventually it didn't even bother me anymore.

I think that some people can be introverted and still do well if they have control of the situation but have a hard time with the freeflowing nature of group conversation where you have to compete for space...

 

[Quiet]

This question is for introverted people:
Have you ever tried pretending you were an extrovert and how did it go? How did it feel?

I myself had a phase when I was deliberately acting a lot more extroverted than I usually am, because I wanted do make new friends and improve my social life. I achieved my goal to some extent, but trying to maintain this image for a longer period of time was extremely exhausting, mainly because I ignored my strong inner need for spending more time alone and recharging.

I can be very outgoing and sociable but will always need to recharge later.

I personally think that it would be hardest for Ni doms to fake extroversion. Its very easy to get lost in Ni, and Ni gives me all the stimulation and energy that I need. Even with literally zero stimulation from the outside world, Ni just keeps going and engaging, drawing me into a deeper and bigger world. I have never been bored.

Fe is an important supporting function because it is a filter and grounding for Ni, but I dont think that I feed of Fe. Ni is simply self perpertuating.

I have noticed that other introverts I know can be 'extraverted' for longer periods when they are fully engaging with the external world with their secondary supporting function. Particularly ISFJs, INTPs. ISTPs and ISTJs.
I havent noticed this so much with ISFPs and INFPs. I think its because Fi can be very all encompassing and also draws one in deeper. Ive also noticed that my ENFP friends seem to be more introverted than other extraverts, I think this is because of Fi.

 

[Odyne]

I did in a social setting and I felt, not exhausted, but freaking miserable. I had to act nice and interested towards people I didn't care about. Ironically, I felt so unhappy.


Making new friends is so overrated. I don't believe it should be an active search anyway. It is much better to have friends towards whom you naturally gravitate, instead of forcing yourself to like them.

 

[GracieRuth]

I am uncomfortable with the word "fake." I am an introvert, but it simply means that the "extrovert" part of me is not dominant. It does NOT mean that it is non-existant. In order to develop an extraverted persona, I draw upon this less dominant part of myself. And yes, of course I have. We all do. Part of maturing means working on those parts of ourselves that are less dominant. For example, if I'm with musicians, I use an ESFP persona. If I'm hosting a dinner party, I use an ESFJ persona. They are not "fake." They are all me. Is it "fake" when a chameleon changes colors? No, because the ability to change colors with ease is part of the nature of the chameleon. I read once that idealists are the hardest for type watchers to spot, specifically because DO enable us this ability to put on different hats for different occasions with such ease, making our personalities so complex.

And yeah, after the gig or the dinner party, I spend time reading a book, or watching a TV show alone.

 

[acd]

How is that?

Because I feel uncomfortable. I don't feel I've mastered the art of being charismatic based on observing naturally outgoing people i know. No one has ever actually commented that I am awkward though.

 

[#@&5&49]

This is a very interesting topic for me. I hope you don't mind if I do a bit of self analysis here and explore my own thoughts and feelings about this subject a little more. Can I fake being an extrovert? The answer is yes, but I believe this shortens my life expectancy as a result of the stress it creates.

As I pondered the original question again and reread my first reply I thought how is it possible that a profound introvert can have a knack for public speaking? I suddenly realized that when I speak publicly I try to create a similar level of intimacy that one would experience in a more personal relationship. I do this because I know more about how to navigate a personal relationship than a public speaking engagement. I believe this is one of the reasons it takes so much out of me.

What a realization, after all of these years. Yikes. Wouldn't it be nice if we all started out knowing ourselves and understanding our own limits so we don't have to do such crazy things for decades only to realize this isn't who we are. I developed a skill out of necessity but that doesn't mean I am comfortable with it. Well, I can say this, it has served me well over the years. So, can I fake being an extrovert - yes. Do I want to - only when I choose to.

Thanks for starting this thread - very helpful and enlightening.

 

[#@&5&49]

It is much better to have friends towards whom you naturally gravitate, instead of forcing yourself to like them.

Well said, I like that. Sometimes I do have to push myself to get out there and meet new people though. Kind of like starting an engine every once in a while in a car you don't drive much. This way the seals don't dry up and fall apart.

 

[technics]

That being the case, it's starting to appear that certain functions tend to reside geographically in either hemisphere.

I just updated myself on Nardi's work. I find it's very interesting work and I'm certainly going to buy his new book Neuroscience of Personality. I also stumbled upon his brain map and thought perhaps I could map myself simply by self-knowledge. This is what I came up with:

View attachment 12450

Green = very good, yellow = medium, red = bad. There are minor errors, I think, such as the frontal lobes being in different colors. But as I said, it's very subjective.

 

[VH]

I just updated myself on Nardi's work. I find it's very interesting work and I'm certainly going to buy his new book Neuroscience of Personality. I also stumbled upon his brain map and thought perhaps I could map myself simply by self-knowledge. This is what I came up with:

View attachment 12450

Green = very good, yellow = medium, red = bad. There are minor errors, I think, such as the frontal lobes being in different colors. But as I said, it's very subjective.

You might find this interesting... assuming this isn't where you found the graphic.

http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...6-dario-nardi-s-neuroscience-personality.html

I've consistently tested extremely balanced with respect to hemisphere dominance, only slightly leaning right. I am also ambidextrous, despite slightly favoring one hand over the other depending on the specific practiced task.

 

[IrenaShav]

I just want to say I'm really happy about the response on this topic, and also happy that people are elaborating on it different ways. I'm also glad that you people share my interest in this subject. Yay! I think that reading differing opinions and different experiences with it is much more interesting than reading a single person's opinion in a form of e.g. an article or a chapter in a book.

I find every answer here interesting in its way.

 

[Cryo Soul]

I'd like to say no, but I have earlier in life; I found that in order to "act" like an extrovert, I have to REDUCE my personality, and filter it through an EXTREMELY small hole in my conscious experience to enjoy being on the same mental/psychological "wavelength" as extroverts....it's easier to do when I manage to "convince" myself that I'm at the party, or bar for the same reasons they are...it shows affinity. It's easy for me to talk about psychology, art, metaphysics, music, philosophy, etc but usually all they care about is what's going on DIRECTLY in front of them....sensors can be frustrating to have conversation with, becuase I'm such a poor sensor that to me, the idea of talking about what someone else I have no interest in whatsoever is very hard to digest....it's like pretending that there's no value, connection between the data given...in otherwords, take what they say at face value, laugh alot, and text frequently to "appear" extroverted....

end of the day, I'd rather be around introverts....the conversation is more interesting.

 

[elect locution]

I just updated myself on Nardi's work. I find it's very interesting work and I'm certainly going to buy his new book Neuroscience of Personality. I also stumbled upon his brain map and thought perhaps I could map myself simply by self-knowledge. This is what I came up with:

View attachment 12450

Green = very good, yellow = medium, red = bad. There are minor errors, I think, such as the frontal lobes being in different colors. But as I said, it's very subjective.

Warning: This post is beside the point of this thread. I just have to nitpick because I loathe pseudoscience.

The middle region (T3, C3, C4, T4), in reality, corresponds to the "motor cortex" and "sensory cortex" (Attachment 1). The motor cortex corresponds spatially with parts of the body as depicted by the "homunculus" (Attachment 2). There is no memory stored anywhere in the cortex (the entire outer/wrinkly region of the brain). Memories are kept in deeper/lower structures (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroanatomy_of_memory).

1
2

While there is truth to the left vs right brain discussion of detail/logic/etc vs bigpicture/emotion/etc (respectively), such anatomical tendencies can not be broken down so simply into blocks of space as Nardi might have led you to map.

Dario Nardi (I googled him) has a PhD in Systems Science (a branch of engineering), a BS in Aerospace engineering, and some foreign language credentials. He has no authority on neuroanatomy/neurology so take his claims with a mound of salt.

 

[Cryo Soul]

I like concepts, and mental/emotional gymnastics....usually, because of my "INFJness" im the targeted "instigator/investigator" of my social groups...I'm introverted, but I'm observant in that I pay sharp attention to undercurrents (emotions, tensions, interests, and behavior patterns of others) which usually bothers alot of extroverts...because they don't like having "personal" things brought to light, if the group isn't into it...they tend to avoid things like "unsaid words" and things that I find so easy to pin point...bring up the topic of "intuition" to most of them and they think it relates STRICKLY to anything Sci-fi, or other worldly so it's "obviously" beyond their understanding...but the funny thing is, it is even for most of us introverted intuitives, but we deal/interact with this on an everyday basis...they tend to slow me down mentally too...I hate that lol

 

[Cryo Soul]

Qestion elect locution:

Is it possible for someone who frequents both hemispherical functions (left brain and right brain functions) to gain a clearer picture/grasp of concepts faster than sensors? I find most intuitives regardless of Feeling/Thinking functions are usually able to assess the meaning/value of information, and grasp the underlying meaning of the data being given to them. Sensors usually are better at linear analysis and concrete implementation, but as long as intuition remains a constant in the equation of personality function preferences, I find it hard to value the data given to me based on physical senes alone...Afterall, we take in enormous amounts of data from our physical senses alone, but for intuitives, that's not where it ends; we take it to the next level by discerning the value/intent for where this data came from....it's a wonder to me why people find it so "odd/rare" to do this? It's not like only the select few introvert iNtuitives can do this....the function remains present (albeit less functional) in all personalities.

 

[technics]

Warning: This post is beside the point of this thread. I just have to nitpick because I loathe pseudoscience.

Thanks for pointing out! But don't worry, I'm naturally very skeptical about all of this. I've tried reading a bit into the discipline bottom-up through a bunch of journal articles and the neurology language is very, very different to Nardi's. And when I saw he has a MBTI certification I immediately thought he's researching "into" a business plan.

As for the extroversion: I used to be very introverted in my teenager years. But then we moved and before entering my new school I remember I paused and said to myself "in this institution you will become more social and extroverted". So when I stepped into my new class, in that split second, I decided to become extroverted and cut off all psychological escape routes into introversion. It all happened in that split second. And from then on extroversion was all natural.

 

[Untitled]

I'd like to say no, but I have earlier in life; I found that in order to "act" like an extrovert, I have to REDUCE my personality, and filter it through an EXTREMELY small hole in my conscious experience to enjoy being on the same mental/psychological "wavelength" as extroverts....it's easier to do when I manage to "convince" myself that I'm at the party, or bar for the same reasons they are...it shows affinity. It's easy for me to talk about psychology, art, metaphysics, music, philosophy, etc but usually all they care about is what's going on DIRECTLY in front of them....sensors can be frustrating to have conversation with, becuase I'm such a poor sensor that to me, the idea of talking about what someone else I have no interest in whatsoever is very hard to digest....it's like pretending that there's no value, connection between the data given...in otherwords, take what they say at face value, laugh alot, and text frequently to "appear" extroverted....

end of the day, I'd rather be around introverts....the conversation is more interesting.

Are you talking about extroverts with S preference? Surely not ENFJs, for example. I've had plenty of deep metaphysical conversations with ENFJs.

I didn't have to fake it, but it was always a draining experience. I'd say the difference between extroverts and introverts is that being extroverted actually takes a conscious effort for an introvert. After I'd give a speech or a class, I was done. People would walk up to me later to talk about it and I'd just smile and nod my way past them.

I totally feel you on this one. I find that experience of people wanting to chat with you afterwards very draining. That's when I really want to just not talk to anyone for a bit and recharge. ES types don't have that experience and are rearing to go out and meet everyone. I'm sitting in a quiet room re-centering. ;D

 

[jupiterswoon]

I went through a period in high school after moving junior year where I dressed really flamboyantly and acted very much the part of an extravert. By the end of the year I was totally exhausted, and fed up with meaningless friendships, and very much avoiding any social situations senior year.

I have found that when at parties, I tend to either talk to only one or two people the whole night and attempt to have meaningful conversations, or I get totally trashed and get more loud and boisterous, then become very ill, and end up regretting everything the next day. This has happened so many times that I no longer enjoy parties at all, and try to avoid them at all costs.

I try to make friends, but I think that I hold so much back, that it is very hard for me to act naturally. I also went through a crushing ego-death within the last year or so, and since then, I do not feel particularly charming or interesting. People used to be intimidated by me, and perhaps still are- but I think I am less outgoing and hence unable to get feedback on that point.

I used to feel responsible for group tension, or for lack of conversation, but now if the people I am around have nothing interesting to say, then I just let the silence linger- this still makes me feel uncomfortable, but then at least I am not drained or regretful for acting vapid. That was the other thing, since being extraverted is unnatural for me, I would don this totally false persona of being happy go lucky. I also am a huge perfectionist, which means that in social situations I get painfully uncomfortable if I think I am not saying the right thing- whereas extraverts tend to say whatever in this deliciously oblivious way.

Sometimes I wish I was more extraverted, I seem to have fewer and fewer friends, and have been either unable, or extremely picky with the people I have met. I also tend to bond with people really emotionally- which has its own sort of uncomfort that accompanies with it- often resulting in crushes that aren't reciprocal, or being burdened with people's baggage- I end up attracting the wrong kinds of friends. I think that's why I am so hesitant to relate with people now- I am tired of relating emotionally, but I don't like extraverted thinking, because in extraverted thinking situations I am not often presented with an opportunity to think- and I usually sound like an idiot because I am not able to access my Ti without killing the mood. People don't tend to like having a long conversation punctured by silences.

 

[jupiterswoon]

I love the metaphor of the chameleon- it is so true!