Have You Ever Tried To Fake Being An Extrovert?

[IrenaShav]

This question is for introverted people:
Have you ever tried pretending you were an extrovert and how did it go? How did it feel?

I myself had a phase when I was deliberately acting a lot more extroverted than I usually am, because I wanted do make new friends and improve my social life. I achieved my goal to some extent, but trying to maintain this image for a longer period of time was extremely exhausting, mainly because I ignored my strong inner need for spending more time alone and recharging.

 

[MikeINvalid]

Not so faking or acting, but I have gotten into moods every once in a while where I would become very extroverted. For some reason I was able to lose myself in whatever was going on and instead of forcing extroversion, it was more like I had become a parallel personality - still similar in most ways, but very outgoing.

This hasn't happened often for me though. It would be interesting to know if I could bring this back when I wanted to without "forcing" it.

 

[Barnabas]

The idea that you can fake extroversion is kinda flawed, introverts are completely capable of being extroverted it's just that it's tasking and usualy leaves the individual drained instead of refreshed.

 

[Sriracha]

[MENTION=1848]The Doctor[/MENTION]

+1

 

[Apone]

Yeah for my job I have to… but I suppose it's not really the same thing when you have everything prepared in advance and you're in control. I've had jobs in the past where I had to be 'on' all the time and it was pretty exhausting… and sometimes I would get into a really foul mood and then it just wouldn't work. Sometimes I would drink lots of coffee and if I was really hurting cans of coke on top of that and I would just fly through the whole day until I came home and crashed, completely unable to even go outside because I just didn't have anything left.

Sometimes I'd actually take beta blockers just to take the edge off.

Introverts tend to not get ahead in a lot of fields, because networking is just so so so important now that everyone is educated/equally qualified for a smaller supply of jobs-- so you do sort of have to learn how to at least appear more outgoing and assert yourself before you have time to doubt what you're doing.

 

[IrenaShav]

The idea that you can fake extroversion is kinda flawed, introverts are completely capable of being extroverted it's just that it's tasking and usualy leaves the individual drained instead of refreshed.

I agree that introverts are completely capable of acting extroverted, but not "being" extroverted. "Being" comes from the inside and we don't have it on the inside, we can only act like it on the outside, and here I'm talking about full-time, longer than a few hours period of time extroverted behavior and lifestyle. I didn't mean something trivial like chatting up a stranger, speaking your mind on a certain subject or asking someone for their number, cause anyone can do that regardless of being introverted or extroverted.

Acting extroverted is very unnatural and artificial for us, and impossible to maintain for longer than a few hours without being exhausted. That's why I called it faking.

 

[Barnabas]

What I'm trying to get at is that it's a false dichotomy, people aren't either or, they tend to shift in degrees and even then you can force yourself to change the degree to which you introverted.

The idea of faking is more akin to going and doing a bunch of things you hate and saying there great, like that party you didn't want to go to but you went any way and told every one you saw that you were enjoying yourself. Yeah you call that faking extroversion, but your not really faking it your just lying about it.

 

[IrenaShav]

What I'm trying to get at is that it's a false dichotomy, people aren't either or, they tend to shift in degrees and even then you can force yourself to change the degree to which you introverted.

It seems to me that you want to discuss whether it's possible to actually change your personality or not, but that subject is not really the topic of this thread and I don't think you should discuss it here.
What I'd like to hear is your experience, topic-related, if you have any? This thread is about people's experiences with acting extroverted while actually being introverted and I have a genuine interest in reading about that.

 

[Lerxst]

I didn't have to fake it, but it was always a draining experience. I'd say the difference between extroverts and introverts is that being extroverted actually takes a conscious effort for an introvert. After I'd give a speech or a class, I was done. People would walk up to me later to talk about it and I'd just smile and nod my way past them.

 

[Faye]

I have tried to fake being an extrovert.

It just drains you even more, I think.

 

[technics]

Have you ever tried pretending you were an extrovert and how did it go? How did it feel?

I'm introverted naturally, but I'm usually very extroverted. And it's not fake, it's very natural. I also don't lose energy while I'm extroverted. It gives me a lot of energy. [MENTION=708]VH[/MENTION] seems to be the only one who understands this.

 

[MikeINvalid]

I cannot force extroversion when it becomes draining... I'm apt to split the scene in situations where I'm forced to do it. When I do get into the moods (not very frequently) when I feel comfortable being extroverted then it isn't draining at all. The thing is it just doesn't happen frequently for me.

 

[Radiantshadow]

"Have you ever tried pretending you were an extrovert and how did it go? How did it feel?"

Yes, I exercised Fe when in school and volunteering at shelters. Most often my attempts were awkwardly heartfelt, except in the case of speeches, poems, and reading essays in class. Delivering speeches and such was something I looked forward to, because it gave me room to be creative and powerful in connecting to others. This is actually one of few things I'm proud of - it gave motivational touches to mostly stagnant days and the chance to show my peers connections between things and people that they might've not seen before. I felt really empowered when everything went well, like I'd opened a dusty room to let fresh air in. (Typical INFJ desire to teach if nothing else.)

Unfortunately, this did not happen often at the homeless shelters I volunteered at. There were a lot of people I couldn't relate to culturally - anger and fear in many eyes and I didn't know how to overcome it - enough offer support and instill hope. The wall eventually became so frustrating that I was sucked dry emotionally and stopped volunteering altogether. I'm sure if this is related to what the OP wants, though, so I'll hush here.

Edit: Martial arts brought out my inferior Se enough that I could flow with my surroundings for a little while and simply react instead of analyzing. Like my time at shelters, this was extremely draining and I had to nap after classes.

 

[bubah]

While I agree with the Doctor, I get what you mean. Have I ever acted sociable when I didn't feel like it? Sure. A lot of people do. My job requires me to be extremely sociable and outgoing towards others. And after a day, I find that I just like to close my door and be alone, reading, or playing a game against the computer, or just thinking. I realize that after being in a group, I'm so drained or stressed that it takes me 2 hours before I can actually fall asleep - especially if it's when I didn't feel like it. I just need to recharge before I can do anything functional. In the past, before I took the MBTI, I often looked at my non-sociable tendencies as a flaw. I had a best friend - an ESTJ - whose life I idealized and wanted to be more like, so I often went against my natural tendencies to be more like him. It was a very destructive process, compounded by the fact that he eventually told me he didn't think we could be "close friends" and that he didn't respect me. Maybe to an ESTJ that's not that big of a deal, but for someone like me, devastating might be an appropriate word. Ever since, I've just tried acting on who I am, going against my natural tendencies for very specific reasons and goals - like a project, job, or meeting new people - but I'm no longer trying to change my over all mindset. It gives me a lot of confidence to know what I naturally do, and even more to know that I can go against that when I have to.

 

[This]

Do it all the time, the joys of working with the public gotta turn on the charismatic ESTP in me.

 

[the]

How do you fake getting energy from people when you are actually losing it? Physically impossible.

 

[acd]

I can fake being outgoing.
It probably is very creepy and awkward to behold.

 

[technics]

It probably is very creepy and awkward to behold.

How is that?

 

[VH]

I'm introverted naturally, but I'm usually very extroverted. And it's not fake, it's very natural. I also don't lose energy while I'm extroverted. It gives me a lot of energy. @VH seems to be the only one who understands this.

True Ni use involves synchronized activity across the cerebral systems, according to the findings in Nardi's studies on cerebral activity in relation to cerebral geography.

Some of the cerebral areas are linked to very introverted processes and some of them very extroverted processes. However, the N functions seem to exist outside of those areas, and manifest in how the mind coordinates all of those systems (aka Cingulate System activity). Ni is a very synchronized use of all regions at the same time, while Ne is series of constant fluctuating activation of all regions. Therefore, Ni and Ne are not inherently introverted or extroverted by nature, and the assumption that people gain energy from being alone or in crowds is more than likely an issue of other function use, most likely Se or Si.

Those INxJ's with a strong 'right brain' leaning are more likely to have developed their Se, while 'left brain' leaning INxJ's are more likely to have developed Si. INxJ's are more likely to be left brain leaning, which is why most of us have the introverted preference of gaining energy when alone and have a lower threshold for sensory input (the influence of Si). Most ENxP's are right brain leaning, which is why they tend to gain energy from interaction, expression, and feedback and have a higher threshold for sensory input (the influence of Se). However, some of us are more evenly developed, leaving us with a rather balanced set that is dominant over our S function preferences.

I'm curious, are you left handed or ambidextrous, technics?

 

[technics]

I'm curious, are you left handed or ambidextrous, technics?

I'm mostly left-handed, except when I play the guitar or use utensils. Why, what does tell you? I thought there was no such thing as "left brain" or "right brain".