Can't say I have cut someone out of my life but I do know how to say goodbye. It isn't the choice to "cut" but to acknowledge that something has ended. I dunno know that I can explain the difference to you. It is like my heart won't let me doorslam but I am able to understand that the person doesn't have a place in my life anymore. I think mine is just a more gradual process, a letting go.
Have you ever cut someone out of your life?
- Thread starter mochi
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That is a terrible thing to do. "May they wake up one day a bruised and bleeding" is my first thought. Had a friend many years ago all the girls made fun of because she was pure, attractive, and better than them. I befriended her. I spent a lot of time with her in front of the ones making fun of her, showing her the kind of attention she needed. She was little over half my age. I do miss her. I had no idea she liked me the way she did and would not have ever hurt her had I known. I never thought she would like a guy my age.
People that choose to live, for whatever amount of time, like that should be left alone sexually at all costs. For someone to take advantage of them is an atrocity. They took away something from her she will never have again. They should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. That is one of the most terrible things I have read on this forum.
People that choose to live, for whatever amount of time, like that should be left alone sexually at all costs. For someone to take advantage of them is an atrocity. They took away something from her she will never have again. They should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. That is one of the most terrible things I have read on this forum.
@just me Yes, the worst thing you can do to someone like that is take sexual advantage of them. I'm borderline asexual myself, so I kept internalizing her feelings and stressing out over the situation. What makes it even worse is that she already struggled with depression and body image issues.This is the worst thing that could have happened to her. It makes me sick.
For your friend
though it may not be enough to help.
Wow, that is extremely extremely horrible what those people did. That poor girl, that is a horrible thing to have to go through. And as for that other girl, how can she even have the audacity to say something like that. Her accusations don't even make sense considering that the girl who was hurt is asexual. I really feel like people like that really do deserve to be cut out of people's lives. They sound toxic and crazy.
You are a great friend to that girl, by the way. I hope she is doing better.
You are a great friend to that girl, by the way. I hope she is doing better.
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I havent recently but I did several times in the past. There have been a couple of people that I have stopped seeing altogether, completely cut them out without notice, and others that I have said goodbye and best wishes to, and then those that I just stopped putting any energy into. I seem to inspire both the absolute worst and best in some people. I dont really understand the role I played in those situations and I think I lacked genuine self awareness back then, and also probably difficulty with having strong boundaries. Plus sometimes when you are kind to someone that hasnt experienced much kindness, they can latch onto you and become completely attached. As much as I love people and like to be there for them, I dont like it when they are dependant on me and I feel obligated to help them. I enjoy helping people that want to help themselves, not those that just drain me like a vampire. Sometimes people mistake my warmness and kindness as attraction, or desire for a deeper connection that I am unwilling to make. I have learnt to be more careful in my approach to people.
I have had 2 friendships develop into crazy stalker crushes, one tried to kill me in a car accident, the other tried to hurt my partner and me. I seriously dont understand how it got to that level. I did try to be careful, but yes, probably lack of self awareness and my impact on others. I was a lot more naive when was younger. I had another friend try to break up my relationship in the most malicious way and spread lies about me. I had another send me and my family abusive messages because I could no longer be there for them, and another that tried to hurt me in any way imaginable. Two that hurt and manipulated my friends. There was also a friend that had a mental illness, I tried to do eveything i could to help her but eventually it was too much and I burnt myself out in a bad way. There are two uncles that make me physically sick just thinking about and I still sometimes have to talk to them. And then theres just those friendships that I found to be too draining and not beneficial for my growth.
Sometimes I feel really bad about these things and wonder what I could have done different. Ironically, I was a lot more distrustful and far more cynical back then. Sometimes I could clearly see the train coming but didnt know how to get out of the way. Sometimes these things happened because I simply did not know what to do in that situation. I hate hurting people, although i know I ended up hurting them and myself more in the long run. I often wish i had been stronger then or had someone I could have spoken to. I think about some of these people a lot. For the most, im glad that most of those people are not an active part of my life anymore, although i do miss some of them and have considered making some kind of mense with others. The thought of a few of them still make me feel sick although Im trying to move past those experiences completely.
Overall, I think the people that you choose to have in your life are very important and will obviously have a huge influence of you. For that reason it seems wise to choose these people very carefully. They are the family that you choose. And our time is very limited. I find it impossible to maintain many friendships because of the time factor, so i choose the ones I want to invest my energy into, hopefully in a mutual and equally beneficial way. I wish I had more time and energy for more people, but I dont. I enjoy the company and my time with many people, but I just dont have anything further to give. Some relationships are simply too draining and painful. Although there is much to learn from those situations, they are not something I nuture willingly. I think its possible to care for people and love them, yet choose to not actively engage with them. There are many people that i simply do not have the strength to deal with. Your friends are supposed to support you, tell you the truth, enjoy life with you and make eveything easier, not bring you down, drain you, make demands and lie to you.
I have had 2 friendships develop into crazy stalker crushes, one tried to kill me in a car accident, the other tried to hurt my partner and me. I seriously dont understand how it got to that level. I did try to be careful, but yes, probably lack of self awareness and my impact on others. I was a lot more naive when was younger. I had another friend try to break up my relationship in the most malicious way and spread lies about me. I had another send me and my family abusive messages because I could no longer be there for them, and another that tried to hurt me in any way imaginable. Two that hurt and manipulated my friends. There was also a friend that had a mental illness, I tried to do eveything i could to help her but eventually it was too much and I burnt myself out in a bad way. There are two uncles that make me physically sick just thinking about and I still sometimes have to talk to them. And then theres just those friendships that I found to be too draining and not beneficial for my growth.
Sometimes I feel really bad about these things and wonder what I could have done different. Ironically, I was a lot more distrustful and far more cynical back then. Sometimes I could clearly see the train coming but didnt know how to get out of the way. Sometimes these things happened because I simply did not know what to do in that situation. I hate hurting people, although i know I ended up hurting them and myself more in the long run. I often wish i had been stronger then or had someone I could have spoken to. I think about some of these people a lot. For the most, im glad that most of those people are not an active part of my life anymore, although i do miss some of them and have considered making some kind of mense with others. The thought of a few of them still make me feel sick although Im trying to move past those experiences completely.
Overall, I think the people that you choose to have in your life are very important and will obviously have a huge influence of you. For that reason it seems wise to choose these people very carefully. They are the family that you choose. And our time is very limited. I find it impossible to maintain many friendships because of the time factor, so i choose the ones I want to invest my energy into, hopefully in a mutual and equally beneficial way. I wish I had more time and energy for more people, but I dont. I enjoy the company and my time with many people, but I just dont have anything further to give. Some relationships are simply too draining and painful. Although there is much to learn from those situations, they are not something I nuture willingly. I think its possible to care for people and love them, yet choose to not actively engage with them. There are many people that i simply do not have the strength to deal with. Your friends are supposed to support you, tell you the truth, enjoy life with you and make eveything easier, not bring you down, drain you, make demands and lie to you.
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[MENTION=4956]Asarya[/MENTION] I'm really sorry to hear you've had such terrible experiences with people. I can relate to the confusion as to why people seem to think you're sending out "signals" when you're not. I think it's because you're just good looking (I have this recollection from the picture thread... ), warm and open and it's some type of projection on their part. I've had some people come harass me unexpectedly, like I'd been flirting with them all night when I honestly haven't even really paid them any attention. It's really annoying. One incident: I was hanging out post show with some friends and their friends. We were joking around and riding the pimped out bicycles outside the venue. I kept falling and laughed my butt off. There was a pleasant fun atmosphere. I went inside and suddenly this guy (who I didn't even notice, didn't talk to not one word) just stands next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. I just walk away. I was flabbergasted. This kind of stuff is very common. It irks me because I haven't done anything to invite it and it bother's me someone in their heads seem to think I've become their girlfriend all of a sudden or builds up this thing in their minds that we're having a "moment" when I'm thinking about my groceries list or the pattern of the wallpaper blissfully unaware of the great love story unfolding. I guess I have this warm, pixie, vulnerable, doey, laissez-faire vibe to me at times when I let my guard down and people interpret that as flirty or weak or at times stupid. Then they treat me according to that image and smack right into the brick wall that is the wrong side of me which is less fluffy to say the least. It's all in there. I'm just generally polite and considerate or at least try to be because I think it's right, good and proper, so I try not to act like a ----. People who have other types of worldviews, the dog-eat-dog never show vulnerability types, interpret that as you having an inherently weak and malleable character, which is of course not true. Sigh. ... ...
), warm and open and it's some type of projection on their part. I've had some people come harass me unexpectedly, like I'd been flirting with them all night when I honestly haven't even really paid them any attention. It's really annoying. One incident: I was hanging out post show with some friends and their friends. We were joking around and riding the pimped out bicycles outside the venue. I kept falling and laughed my butt off. There was a pleasant fun atmosphere. I went inside and suddenly this guy (who I didn't even notice, didn't talk to not one word) just stands next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. I just walk away. I was flabbergasted. This kind of stuff is very common. It irks me because I haven't done anything to invite it and it bother's me someone in their heads seem to think I've become their girlfriend all of a sudden or builds up this thing in their minds that we're having a "moment" when I'm thinking about my groceries list or the pattern of the wallpaper blissfully unaware of the great love story unfolding. I guess I have this warm, pixie, vulnerable, doey, laissez-faire vibe to me at times when I let my guard down and people interpret that as flirty or weak or at times stupid. Then they treat me according to that image and smack right into the brick wall that is the wrong side of me which is less fluffy to say the least. It's all in there. I'm just generally polite and considerate or at least try to be because I think it's right, good and proper, so I try not to act like a ----. People who have other types of worldviews, the dog-eat-dog never show vulnerability types, interpret that as you having an inherently weak and malleable character, which is of course not true. Sigh. ... ...
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Great topic [MENTION=3876]mochi[/MENTION],
I have had to draw some strict boundaries with certain people that I allowed into my life in the past. As a result, now I carefully choose who comes into my personal life. Pay attention to red flags and gut feelings at the beginning of any relationship. Those are your warning signs.
On another note, we don't always get to choose who is going to be in our life. For example, inlaws, stepchildrens biological parent, co-workers, etc.. I have a few of these in my life. These relationships can be very challenging especially if people do not share a similar value system or at a minimum extend some common courtesy and mutual respect towards one another. In cases like these I evaluate each situation individually and choose the healthiest course of action based on available options.
I have had to draw some strict boundaries with certain people that I allowed into my life in the past. As a result, now I carefully choose who comes into my personal life. Pay attention to red flags and gut feelings at the beginning of any relationship. Those are your warning signs.
On another note, we don't always get to choose who is going to be in our life. For example, inlaws, stepchildrens biological parent, co-workers, etc.. I have a few of these in my life. These relationships can be very challenging especially if people do not share a similar value system or at a minimum extend some common courtesy and mutual respect towards one another. In cases like these I evaluate each situation individually and choose the healthiest course of action based on available options.
a friend, long overdue. One day when she called, I didn't respond so nicely so she stopped calling and I haven't called her back. From my end, I thought she was selfish, self centered, opportunistic, and unreliable. If I'm going to have friends or relationships with anyone, I prefer developing more mutually supportive relationships, not ones where someone simply takes and takes without thinking about the other person. Not someone who thinks they're doing you a favor by being your friend or who try to occasionally make time to fit you into their busy lives.
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I kinda agree with this. There are people with whom, after certain issues arise, I try my best not to talk to for an indefinite amount of time. I don't think of it as "we have no chance of ever talking again" though. I see it more as giving it time to completely reboot the relationship in case of the possibility of future encountering.
I mean, aside from serious abusers, which is obviously understandable.
I cut my best friend out of my life (well, best friend throughout the teenage years) about 3 years ago. It was complicated. We were ridiculously close to the point people thought we were in a relationship or were bound to be anytime soon.
I was engaged to someone else and pregnant with his child. Pregnancy wasn't easy for me, I had hormones from hell and I was sick the entire pregnancy. I ended my engagement towards the end of my first trimester and it was a really hard time for me. There were some revelations about the relationship around that time, and when my ex realised I wasn't going to change my mind and take him back he got even more abusive than he had been previously. I had a lot of fear about him and about what could happen when the baby was born. I expressed some of this to my friend, and he would act like i was being ridiculous instead of just listening to my fears and letting me feel. He was just generally insensitive.
I saw the baby move for the first time at 4 months, I had witnesses, and it was definitely baby. He was the first person I told and he pissed all over the most exciting moment of my life at that time. He basically scoffed and told me it was too early, there was no way it could happen and i was imagining things. (As if he knew anything about pregnancy?! ) I was crushed.
I turned 21 when I was pregnant. I was quite heavily pregnant and not able for much, I was in no mood for a 21st, but I did not want to spend the day sitting in my flat alone either so I booked said frienda couple of months in advance, asking if he would spend the day with me. He said of course. He was working as a music teacher at the time, so he could pick his own hours. I was at a friend 21st 3 days before my own, and he came up to me and told e that he coudln't hang out till 4.30 in the afternoon....just in time to come along for a free meal with me and my family. I was hurt and furious that he could be such an ass. I disinvited him to dinner with my family, but did so in a way that didn't seem like he was being disinvited and had him come to the house for breakfast with me and my sister instead. He showed up and talked to my dad about himself for most of the morning, whilst managing to insult my sister numerous times till she pretty much cursed at him.
After that I just kind of cut him out. I didn't hang out with him much, and when we did see each other it was awkward. I ended up deleting him off of FB. I saw him at wedding recently after him being very cold with me for years. He cme over as he wanted to make things "right" I agreed with him as I'd wanted to do that for a while. I said I didn't want things to be the way they had been, but I wanted to be friends again. He proceeded to tell me he wasn't sure if he wanted that and then asked if that was "Crushing" to me.
I was proud of how polite I was, I smiled whilst saying it didn't bother me at all, we hadn't talked for years ater all. Inside I laughed and thought "Christ girl, you made the right choice 3 years ago!" I don't think I could have been more insulted. Must think pretty highly of himself to think I'd be crushed, as if i'd been pining or something!
I was engaged to someone else and pregnant with his child. Pregnancy wasn't easy for me, I had hormones from hell and I was sick the entire pregnancy. I ended my engagement towards the end of my first trimester and it was a really hard time for me. There were some revelations about the relationship around that time, and when my ex realised I wasn't going to change my mind and take him back he got even more abusive than he had been previously. I had a lot of fear about him and about what could happen when the baby was born. I expressed some of this to my friend, and he would act like i was being ridiculous instead of just listening to my fears and letting me feel. He was just generally insensitive.
I saw the baby move for the first time at 4 months, I had witnesses, and it was definitely baby. He was the first person I told and he pissed all over the most exciting moment of my life at that time. He basically scoffed and told me it was too early, there was no way it could happen and i was imagining things. (As if he knew anything about pregnancy?!
) I was crushed. I turned 21 when I was pregnant. I was quite heavily pregnant and not able for much, I was in no mood for a 21st, but I did not want to spend the day sitting in my flat alone either so I booked said frienda couple of months in advance, asking if he would spend the day with me. He said of course. He was working as a music teacher at the time, so he could pick his own hours. I was at a friend 21st 3 days before my own, and he came up to me and told e that he coudln't hang out till 4.30 in the afternoon....just in time to come along for a free meal with me and my family. I was hurt and furious that he could be such an ass. I disinvited him to dinner with my family, but did so in a way that didn't seem like he was being disinvited and had him come to the house for breakfast with me and my sister instead. He showed up and talked to my dad about himself for most of the morning, whilst managing to insult my sister numerous times till she pretty much cursed at him.
After that I just kind of cut him out. I didn't hang out with him much, and when we did see each other it was awkward. I ended up deleting him off of FB. I saw him at wedding recently after him being very cold with me for years. He cme over as he wanted to make things "right" I agreed with him as I'd wanted to do that for a while. I said I didn't want things to be the way they had been, but I wanted to be friends again. He proceeded to tell me he wasn't sure if he wanted that and then asked if that was "Crushing" to me.
I was proud of how polite I was, I smiled whilst saying it didn't bother me at all, we hadn't talked for years ater all. Inside I laughed and thought "Christ girl, you made the right choice 3 years ago!" I don't think I could have been more insulted. Must think pretty highly of himself to think I'd be crushed, as if i'd been pining or something!
Sometimes I'll decide I don't like a person but I won't get mad at them. I'll just stay on good terms with them. Also I never talk shit behind peoples back because my mommy taught me not to do that. If you are gonna talk behind someone's back it's a prerequisite that you say it to their face. That's called being real. My mommy taught me that too.
Wow, I am absolutely speechless. I can't believe they tried to even kill you, some people are just so... crazy! O_O Definitely quite glad you were able to leave those people. Thank you for those words at the end, very inspiring.
I cut my best friend out of my life (well, best friend throughout the teenage years) about 3 years ago. It was complicated. We were ridiculously close to the point people thought we were in a relationship or were bound to be anytime soon.
I was engaged to someone else and pregnant with his child. Pregnancy wasn't easy for me, I had hormones from hell and I was sick the entire pregnancy. I ended my engagement towards the end of my first trimester and it was a really hard time for me. There were some revelations about the relationship around that time, and when my ex realised I wasn't going to change my mind and take him back he got even more abusive than he had been previously. I had a lot of fear about him and about what could happen when the baby was born. I expressed some of this to my friend, and he would act like i was being ridiculous instead of just listening to my fears and letting me feel. He was just generally insensitive.
I saw the baby move for the first time at 4 months, I had witnesses, and it was definitely baby. He was the first person I told and he pissed all over the most exciting moment of my life at that time. He basically scoffed and told me it was too early, there was no way it could happen and i was imagining things. (As if he knew anything about pregnancy?!
I turned 21 when I was pregnant. I was quite heavily pregnant and not able for much, I was in no mood for a 21st, but I did not want to spend the day sitting in my flat alone either so I booked said frienda couple of months in advance, asking if he would spend the day with me. He said of course. He was working as a music teacher at the time, so he could pick his own hours. I was at a friend 21st 3 days before my own, and he came up to me and told e that he coudln't hang out till 4.30 in the afternoon....just in time to come along for a free meal with me and my family. I was hurt and furious that he could be such an ass. I disinvited him to dinner with my family, but did so in a way that didn't seem like he was being disinvited and had him come to the house for breakfast with me and my sister instead. He showed up and talked to my dad about himself for most of the morning, whilst managing to insult my sister numerous times till she pretty much cursed at him.
After that I just kind of cut him out. I didn't hang out with him much, and when we did see each other it was awkward. I ended up deleting him off of FB. I saw him at wedding recently after him being very cold with me for years. He cme over as he wanted to make things "right" I agreed with him as I'd wanted to do that for a while. I said I didn't want things to be the way they had been, but I wanted to be friends again. He proceeded to tell me he wasn't sure if he wanted that and then asked if that was "Crushing" to me.
I was proud of how polite I was, I smiled whilst saying it didn't bother me at all, we hadn't talked for years ater all. Inside I laughed and thought "Christ girl, you made the right choice 3 years ago!" I don't think I could have been more insulted. Must think pretty highly of himself to think I'd be crushed, as if i'd been pining or something!
I never knew you endured such a thing, that must have been hard. You definitely made the right choice.
Hey chulo, I hope you do not think I am mad at my friend at the moment, in fact, I forgave her a long time ago and I am not mad anymore (although I really did feel quite angry at the moment).
It is not the single act of what she did, but rather, the repetitive acts and the constant apologies over our long years of friendship, all of which leave me drained. I could perhaps find it in my heart to overlook this single act, but this has been happening over and over for several years. Were we to continue this, it would only happen again.
I also hope you do not think that I did not attempt to tell her how I feel; I did, and she again brought up things that happened with her dad and began emotionally draining me. As for gossip and talking about other people's back, that is another reason why I am leaving... I am such a quiet person, it only drains me more. I try not to talk about it or think about it, and in fact, except with my best friend, I haven't really gotten to express the frustrations with it except anonymously on this forum. I really don't like it when others talk badly about others very often. This is another thing I have endured from this friendship in fact, and another reason I am leaving as well; she has said bad things about every person she knows, and I just can't take it anymore and be quiet when I feel it is so mean. I have tried talking to her about it as well, but then she lashes out in anger because she wants me to agree. There is actually a lot more manipulation and things I endured that perhaps if you knew about you would understand. But for the most part I don't even want to talk about it or go into detail here; I just simply want to get away and forget about it.
I have already tried staying cool with her, but it doesn't work. The way I see it is like I'm in a bad relationship. In a way, it's better for the both of us if we never talk again, I don't think she benefits from this relationship either because I'm just too passive. She needs someone to be more assertive with her, but I am not strong enough to do that. Even when I do speak up, I am easily overtalked or walked over. It's a conflict of personalities, really.
Lately I feel like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I only hope you can understand. But I do understand you. In fact, I used to feel the same way too, that's why I stayed so long, that's why I tried so hard. I did believe in a type of unconditional love, but now I know that sometimes there is a point where you also deserve respect back. That last thing that happened was the worst thing she ever did to me. I don't care if people are mean to me, I can forgive that eternity, but I draw the line when innocent uninvolved people I care about are also drawn into it even though they didn't do anything. I'm tired of drama/fighting too... I just want to talk about books or something honestly, or talk about something fun, etc. That's why I believe this decision has the best outcome, I just always feel so bad around her, and I often feel like I'm compromising my values to keep her happy.
Of course I will always in some way care about her, and of course I'm going to be there for her if something bad happened and if she really needed me. It just isn't going to work anymore, I know it now. There are no hard feelings between us, just not a friendship.
Wow, I am absolutely speechless. I can't believe they tried to even kill you, some people are just so... crazy! O_O Definitely quite glad you were able to leave those people. Thank you for those words at the end, very inspiring.
I never knew you endured such a thing, that must have been hard. You definitely made the right choice.
Hey chulo, I hope you do not think I am mad at my friend at the moment, in fact, I forgave her a long time ago and I am not mad anymore (although I really did feel quite angry at the moment).
It is not the single act of what she did, but rather, the repetitive acts and the constant apologies over our long years of friendship, all of which leave me drained. I could perhaps find it in my heart to overlook this single act, but this has been happening over and over for several years. Were we to continue this, it would only happen again.
I also hope you do not think that I did not attempt to tell her how I feel; I did, and she again brought up things that happened with her dad and began emotionally draining me. As for gossip and talking about other people's back, that is another reason why I am leaving... I am such a quiet person, it only drains me more. I try not to talk about it or think about it, and in fact, except with my best friend, I haven't really gotten to express the frustrations with it except anonymously on this forum. I really don't like it when others talk badly about others very often. This is another thing I have endured from this friendship in fact, and another reason I am leaving as well; she has said bad things about every person she knows, and I just can't take it anymore and be quiet when I feel it is so mean. I have tried talking to her about it as well, but then she lashes out in anger because she wants me to agree. There is actually a lot more manipulation and things I endured that perhaps if you knew about you would understand. But for the most part I don't even want to talk about it or go into detail here; I just simply want to get away and forget about it.
I have already tried staying cool with her, but it doesn't work. The way I see it is like I'm in a bad relationship. In a way, it's better for the both of us if we never talk again, I don't think she benefits from this relationship either because I'm just too passive. She needs someone to be more assertive with her, but I am not strong enough to do that. Even when I do speak up, I am easily overtalked or walked over. It's a conflict of personalities, really.
Lately I feel like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I only hope you can understand. But I do understand you. In fact, I used to feel the same way too, that's why I stayed so long, that's why I tried so hard. I did believe in a type of unconditional love, but now I know that sometimes there is a point where you also deserve respect back. That last thing that happened was the worst thing she ever did to me. I don't care if people are mean to me, I can forgive that eternity, but I draw the line when innocent uninvolved people I care about are also drawn into it even though they didn't do anything. I'm tired of drama/fighting too... I just want to talk about books or something honestly, or talk about something fun, etc. That's why I believe this decision has the best outcome, I just always feel so bad around her, and I often feel like I'm compromising my values to keep her happy.
Of course I will always in some way care about her, and of course I'm going to be there for her if something bad happened and if she really needed me. It just isn't going to work anymore, I know it now. There are no hard feelings between us, just not a friendship.
Good for you [MENTION=3876]mochi[/MENTION]. You are capable of making good decisions. No hard feelings between you two. That's awesome.
I forgot about this one recent experience. I recently met a friend of a friend. On the first meeting I got kind of a creepy feeling from her which I immediately took notice of. But since I am pretty good friends with friend #1 I just tucked the info away and decided to wait and see. Well the next time we met we were all having dinner together; husbands, wives, friends, etc. This woman proceeded to spend the evening insulting me. I realized then my original creepy feeling was right so there was no reason to ever see her again.
Well, unfortunately I decided to go on a short vacation with a group of friends which included her. She could not give anyone any personal space, she was relentless in telling everyone what to do, continual insults, picking fights, etc., etc., etc.. Our vacation turned into an experience that was all about her and if she didn't get her way she would have a temper tantrum and start insulting everyone. We all divided up taking care of her in shifts cause she would freak out if she was left by herself. I can't say I've ever met anyone like this before.
After we returned home she called me a couple of times to connect. I have no idea why. I didn't return her calls and don't plan to in the future either. The rest of us felt really sorry for our other friend that is married to her. He originally wanted to go on the vacation without her. Now I understand why. How sad. I feel sorry for her. This is one of those times where I have compassion for someone from a distance.
Well, unfortunately I decided to go on a short vacation with a group of friends which included her. She could not give anyone any personal space, she was relentless in telling everyone what to do, continual insults, picking fights, etc., etc., etc.. Our vacation turned into an experience that was all about her and if she didn't get her way she would have a temper tantrum and start insulting everyone. We all divided up taking care of her in shifts cause she would freak out if she was left by herself. I can't say I've ever met anyone like this before.
After we returned home she called me a couple of times to connect. I have no idea why. I didn't return her calls and don't plan to in the future either. The rest of us felt really sorry for our other friend that is married to her. He originally wanted to go on the vacation without her. Now I understand why. How sad. I feel sorry for her. This is one of those times where I have compassion for someone from a distance.
The one person that I have had to completely let go of has been my mother. She was compulsively negative, struggled with addiction, and constantly hurt the people around her. I recognized early on that she needed serious help, but she was content with the way she was living her life so I felt my only remaining option was to seperate myself from her.
I've cut a few people out of my life. One was my best friend of 19 yrs, after I found out she'd been having an affair with my husband for 6 yrs of our 12 yr marriage and playing psychological games with me the whole time, the other was my mother. Both where unhealthy relationships for me and I have found that I am much better off without them in my life.
Wow, that's quite a different personality, I've never heard of something like that. I wonder why/how she became like that perhaps? That must have been difficult... It was quite nice of you to give her a chance, [MENTION=5224]Sadie[/MENTION].
It really surprises me everytime to hear a family member, those are understandably the hardest to let go.
Addiction is terrible; I could understand why you had to make the decision you did, although no doubt it must have been hard because it was someone you really cared about. I guess in these situations it might be better because the person needs to be in a better place and choose to seek treatment or help. Choosing to get help shows the person wants to make a change for themselves and their family. Understandably, being around someone who is addicted can be very exhausting and stressful. I'm glad you were able to start a new life away from the drug environment. I couldn't help but feel a tad bit angry upon hearing that, what a horrible friend!!! It just amazes me why someone would ever do something like that to someone, let alone a best friend.
I just don't understand it. You must have been a really good friend to her for giving her the benefit of the doubt if she was playing mind games. Grrr, I'm getting that "people suck" feeling lol. X3You are definitely much better out without them.
It must feel good to have people you trust and love in your life now. ^.^ Good riddance!
A couple of people, yes. In all instances I discovered I'd been lied to or cheated on. I don't handle that sort of pain well and second chances are for chumps. I'd rather cut ties and move on.
I've also lost people along the way, but that was a more natural result of growing apart. This used to bother me. I believed that everyone should have the decency to say 'goodbye.'
I've also lost people along the way, but that was a more natural result of growing apart. This used to bother me. I believed that everyone should have the decency to say 'goodbye.'
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Yes I have cut people out.
First, a man who had lied to me about his location and strung me along like crazy. He threatened to commit suicide for what he had done to me. I told him I could never be with him. He internet stalked me and threatened me. He was a broken man and I could not help him. So out he went.
Second, a guy who was supposed to be my friend but who tried to manipulate me into having sex with him. He tried to get me into drugs and drinking as well which I was not keen on at the time. I was very depressed and vulnerable at the time and he tried to take advantage. Out he went.
Third, this guy who used to write me poetry all the time and would talk to me but barely. We met hung out once. We would go long stretches of time of never communicating. He came on to me too strong one time and told me he was in love with me and I told him that no he was not. I had to stop talking to him for both our sakes. I wasn't interested and he wouldn't give up and his feelings were WAY too strong given our limited communication and time spent together. I think he actually internet stalked me via our mutual friends for a long time previous to talking, though.
Third, my ex who most of you know the story about. Bitch, get the fuck out.
Those are three of the biggest "cut outs." It's very rare that I will randomly cut someone out of my life. There is always a reason for it and there is always a confrontation. I have sort of blocked off other people randomly but that's usually because there's no real connection or communication from either of us.
First, a man who had lied to me about his location and strung me along like crazy. He threatened to commit suicide for what he had done to me. I told him I could never be with him. He internet stalked me and threatened me. He was a broken man and I could not help him. So out he went.
Second, a guy who was supposed to be my friend but who tried to manipulate me into having sex with him. He tried to get me into drugs and drinking as well which I was not keen on at the time. I was very depressed and vulnerable at the time and he tried to take advantage. Out he went.
Third, this guy who used to write me poetry all the time and would talk to me but barely. We met hung out once. We would go long stretches of time of never communicating. He came on to me too strong one time and told me he was in love with me and I told him that no he was not. I had to stop talking to him for both our sakes. I wasn't interested and he wouldn't give up and his feelings were WAY too strong given our limited communication and time spent together. I think he actually internet stalked me via our mutual friends for a long time previous to talking, though.
Third, my ex who most of you know the story about. Bitch, get the fuck out.
Those are three of the biggest "cut outs." It's very rare that I will randomly cut someone out of my life. There is always a reason for it and there is always a confrontation. I have sort of blocked off other people randomly but that's usually because there's no real connection or communication from either of us.