I guess i was just wondering if other INFJs felt drawn to that personality and if they felt an ENTJ met needs for communication and closeness?? I don't want to fall into a trap where I'm trying to please him so much that I don't get the understanding I really, really want. With a thinker, it becomes so obvious to me the difference between being aware of someone's needs and actually understanding them.
Then again, I miiiiight be a little too picky =X
The thing to keep in mind is that MBTI types are categories, not individuals. While two people may demonstrate tendencies that are alike, ultimately, each adds something different to their personality that changes the flavour. I doubt that this is something that you haven't considered, but I rather err on the side of caution and preface by saying that I don't want you to to fall into the trap of thinking that just because the two of us share an MBTI type and have/had partners that share one as well, the mileage won't vary. If you are already facing some differences in communication, I think it would be best to address them. If he's true to his type, your ENTJ will listen so long as your request is reasonably within his means.
Disclaimers aside, I had a very satisfying relationship with my ENTJ boyfriend. What I liked about him was that he had that emotional stability. He wasn't the gushiest boyfriend and certainly not very spontaneous, but he was loyal (I never had to worry about him going out at night, drinking his face off and hooking up with random girls) and when something on his mind, he would go right out and describe it in the most concise and practical manner he could. If it was a problem he was addressing, he was always two steps ahead and had already thought through a couple of solutions. He was a real "partner" in the sense that he wasn't just expecting an intimate relationship; he was a good support system and gave me that ambitious push where career matters were concerned. He was a really social guy too (which I really enjoyed) but he kept the details of our relationship to himself.
He did like to argue, though. Whoa boy. Thankfully, neither of us were particularly prone to emotional outbursts (I didn't like them and he didn't see where the point was), so our arguments were pretty tame, but we had
a lot of discussions for the sake of discussions. The need to "win" was probably the most annoying part of this. He didn't like to be proven wrong, and while he wasn't bitter about it, it wasn't uncommon for him to approach me the next day with new evidence to back up his claims and the discussion would continue. I ended up learning a lot from him (at the cost of several migraines).
I think the key attraction factor for me was the fact that I had just come out of a really emotionally draining relationship with an INFP male. I wanted a partner that wasn't wishy-washy and moody all the time. Jay knew what he wanted and went after it. Even when he asked me out, there was no beating around the bush--he wanted to make it clear it was a date (we were friends first). He didn't expect me to make decisions all the time just to passively-aggressively blame me if something went wrong. There was no bullshit and he was strongly receptive to and respectful of what I had to say. Even though he was in charge most of the time, I felt more equal to him because I knew that if I didn't agree with something that we were doing, he would take my suggestions into advisement instead of misinterpreting it as "me telling him what to do all the time."
He was really good at giving me my space too. While he often did not understand
why I would react to something in a certain way, he respected the divide between our emotional sensitivity. He knew what worked and didn't like to mess with the system. If I need comfort, he knew it was enough to sit there with me and not say anything. Sometimes I wished that he would've made more of an effort reach out to me on an emotional level and not be such a "tin man," but I knew better because he tended to rationalize, rather than
feel his emotions.
We were close, but as I later learned with my next boyfriend, we weren't nearly as compatible as we could've been. There was an almost "official" vibe to our relationship. I mean, we were intimate and cuddly, but we certainly didn't have all that much chemistry. I think we worked because we leveled one another off. Neither of us were an "extreme." We might've even continued our relationship if I hadn't moved away to go to a school that was three hours away from our home town. We both didn't see the point in continuing a high school relationship into university. Together, we were more practical than romantic, I guess.
I don't know if that really helps you here, but I thought I'd share anyhow.
