Re: Handleing chronic disease
Yeah, I deal with many constant symptoms that have been labeled 'MVPS/D' (mitral valve prolapse syndrome/dysautonomia) which relate much more to my nervous system than to my heart (though that kicks in every now and again due to compensated mild heart failure).
I started to feel funky a couple years back, suspected my thyroid was kicking the bucket, and quickly found that I was right. My thyroiditis could be caused by the usual autoimmune malfunction, but since it's so mild, it could be my unhealthy, stressed lifestyle, too. I could make it without medication (Armour, or something similar) but I don't need more depression on top of the other depression I have.
I also have who-knows-what hormonal problems that cause androgen excess and near total stoppage of menstruation (except once yearly in May, unless I find someone I'm attracted to), and although I feel ok not having to ride the red tide once a month, I need to keep the ol' uterus conditioned ... or removed. The treatment for that is Yasmin birth control, of course.
I can't stand the thought of being chemically dependent for any reason. It severely depresses me, makes me feel restrained and trapped in a certain lifestyle, and generally chokes the life out of me somehow. I end up wondering why the hell I should bother; after all, is a psychologically decomposing existence better than the physically decomposing one?
But it's not all that bad -- eventually, I'll just adjust, and I'll have to find a new way to live. One way I look at it is that I'm keeping my body up so as to have the privilege to experience the endless entertainment that is life. Plus, I also control my own medication and health care, so I have a grasp of what's happening with me and I feel far less dependent, and, to me, that's an absolute necessity for my mental health and general outlook.