Getting someone to leave you alone | INFJ Forum

Getting someone to leave you alone

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by greenapple, Sep 2, 2008.

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  1. greenapple

    greenapple Newbie

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    I went out with a guy
    and he used lines that seemed really planned and practiced
    told me he used to be a major druggie
    and that he went out with a girl who had a boyfriend at the time

    so how do I get rid of him without hurting his feelings (I believe he thinks we are going out)
    Normally I would just ignore his calls and emails until he left me alone but I believe there is a blatantly better alternative that I am missing... F help?
     
  2. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    It's over, I don't want to see you any more. Don't call me.

    For his curiosity you might throw in that reason - "You were attempting to manipulate me with practiced lines and conversation"
     
  3. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    I take it you're referring to an INFJ?
     
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  4. OP
    greenapple

    greenapple Newbie

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    No. I dont know any INFJs that would be that skeezy. I just wanted some feeler help.
     
  5. Silently Honest

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    Kill him in his sleep, his feelings won't be hurt, and if you're effcient enough, he won't feel a thing physically as well.

    Problem solved.

    Seriously, he sounds unstable, if you don't want to hurt his feelings, ignore him. That does sound like the best way to go, though there are others who I imagine are better suited then me to give this advice on this forum.
     
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  6. frozen_water

    frozen_water Community Member

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    eh, careful with that too... some people are dense enough they won't realize they're being ignored for quite a while. *shifty eyes*

    how sure are you that he's playing around, and not serious? If you're nearly positive his lines are rehearsed, then do yourself a favor and don't worry about hurting his feelings... if he's faking stories like that, it's almost a sure thing that he'll try to play a martyr and act like you hurt his feelings a lot too.

    On the other hand, if you're mistaken and he's telling you about his mistakes in the past because he really feels close to you, it'll damage him a lot to get "I don't believe you, stay away from me" as a reaction.

    I guess it doesn't make much sense that you want to "get rid of him without hurting his feelings." If he's lying, you'll ruin yourself by worrying about his feelings. If he's not, why do you want to completely get rid of him? Wouldn't it be better/more helpful to make sure he knows you're not interested and keep the friendship? Either way you're better off being honest... don't try to play games to get him off your back.
     
  7. entjForever

    entjForever Regular Poster

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    My instincts tell me to not to touch this with a ten foot pole.
    Triumph his druggie card with a mafioso card?

    But I don't believe in lying. Just tell him that he is not the right match for you, and please don't make it difficult on you by asking more questions but you will rather have some space.

    Some people aren't good at hints. So, just tell him that.
     
  8. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    I think chegra is right, just tell him politely that you're not interested in him that way.
     
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  9. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    Kay so non-feeler help but what I think should be universal regardless of type;

    The best way to let someone down without hurting their feelings is to be blunt, honest and direct. It will hurt more for him if he gets mixed messages, you are doing him a favour and showing you respect his feelings if you say straight-up that you're not interested in a romantic relationship. Ignoring is, in my opinion, weak. It makes it easy on you but does not save him from confusion and pain.
     
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  10. OP
    greenapple

    greenapple Newbie

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    Wow thanks for your advice everyone!
    Yeah it was the first date so my guess is he wasnt saying it because he felt a deep connection... so I will just be blunt and not worry too much :)
    ..... then the efficient sleep elimination tactic....
     
  11. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Addicted to Bagels

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    I like his idea. ^^
     
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  12. sciski

    sciski Regular Poster

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    If neither idea works, try playing dead. :D
     
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    #12 sciski, Sep 4, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2008
  13. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Quick! While she's warm!
    :flame::kiss:
     
  14. sciski

    sciski Regular Poster

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    O_O You DO needs to snuggle!


    :D
     
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  15. OP
    greenapple

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  16. GargoylesLegacy

    GargoylesLegacy Community Member

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    Well, if he is already too much into you it is nearly impossible to not hurt him. So the best Thing you can do is to tell him as soon as possible.
    You should go to him and honestly say that he is a nice Guy but that it won't work out for [insert Reason]. Even if he does get hurt, at least you were being honest and People often like that, even if they do feel some Pain afterwards. Also the longer you wait, the more he could possible make himselves Hopes, and it would just completely suck in the End to tell him you are not interested. *thinks back*
     
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