Funny Stories of Stupid Things People do | INFJ Forum

Funny Stories of Stupid Things People do

Moxie

Moxie

Absent-Minded Professor
Oct 31, 2009
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I want to read your stories, but I thought I'd get started with one of mine.

I was in my early 20's, and buying something that required I show my ID. The casheir looked at my ID, and said, "Your name is Rose??!!?? Were you named after the chick on the Titanic???

The movie had come out a year ago. I was in my early 20's.

I replied, seriously, "Why Yes. It was very astute of you to notice." and left.

I wondered 1, if she knew what the word astute meant, and 2, how long it would take her to catch my sarcasm, and 3) how long it would take for her to realize this was one of the stupidest things she may have ever said....

Anyone else have a funny story like this?
 
That is funny. You are very quick-witted. It is so funny that you posted this. I was, yesterday, thinking about some of my dumbest moments. This is the one that came to mind.

I was 9 years old and walking home up a big hill. I came across a frozen sheet of ice with a friend.

Keep in mind: I have ADD and was very impulsive as a child I often leaped without looking or thinking things through.

I said to my friend something to the effect of: If someone was really stupid they would move their feet fast on the ice....

Of course I was doing this while I was talking and fell before the words were completely out of my mouth.

I broke my glasses. I suppose my glasses broke my fall as I landed face first in the ice.

Luckily I was unhurt. On the other hand this helped me learn my lesson.
 
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Lol! These were good!
Okay got one in my huge archive of stupidity.

My ex was describing something to me using biology terms. He told me, quite seriously, 'Think of it this way. She was the sperm cell going into my plant cell's nucleus.' I stared at him for about 2 complete seconds of stunned silence before I burst into uncontrollable laughter. The funny thing was, he didn't even realize what he said. I had to tell him, after catching my breath, that a sperm cell could, in no way, be found in a plant cell.
He said 'I knew that' so I asked him that if he did, why did he use it? Memorable. I have never heard of such an utter failure of a metaphor.
 
yumiii said:
Lol! These were good!
Okay got one in my huge archive of stupidity.

My ex was describing something to me using biology terms. He told me, quite seriously, 'Think of it this way. She was the sperm cell going into my plant cell's nucleus.' I stared at him for about 2 complete seconds of stunned silence before I burst into uncontrollable laughter. The funny thing was, he didn't even realize what he said. I had to tell him, after catching my breath, that a sperm cell could, in no way, be found in a plant cell.
He said 'I knew that' so I asked him that if he did, why did he use it? Memorable. I have never heard of such an utter failure of a metaphor.
Click to expand...

Tell that to this guy

walrobinson11-1-16s.jpg
 
sookie said:
That is funny. You are very quick-witted. It is so funny that you posted this. I was, yesterday, thinking about some of my dumbest moments. This is the one that came to mind.

I was 9 years old and walking home up a big hill. I came across a frozen sheet of ice with a friend.

Keep in mind: I have ADD and was very impulsive as a child I often leaped without looking or thinking things through...
Click to expand...

Just curious, how do you deal with your ADD?
 
TrevOrTrevor said:
Just curious, how do you deal with your ADD?
Click to expand...

Sometimes not well. Sometimes I do ok. It is a struggle. It is a struggle. I think that it has had a very significant impact on my life. I really struggle. If someone gives me oral instructions- I am lost.

The older I get the more I know what works for me. I make sure I write things down. Writing helps me pay attention to what I am learning in order to remember.

I do better if i eat a good breakfast and eat frequently throughout the day.

I need to reread things constantly in order to comprhend.

I have been told by people that my brain works fast. Too fast sometimes people have to hold me back or I will skip things

I take medication when I was working full time I took it everday. It helps quite a bit.
 
sookie said:
Sometimes not well. Sometimes I do ok. It is a struggle. It is a struggle. I think that it has had a very significant impact on my life. I really struggle. If someone gives me oral instructions- I am lost.

The older I get the more I know what works for me. I make sure I write things down. Writing helps me pay attention to what I am learning in order to remember.

I do better if i eat a good breakfast and eat frequently throughout the day.

I need to reread things constantly in order to comprhend.

I have been told by people that my brain works fast. Too fast sometimes people have to hold me back or I will skip things

I take medication when I was working full time I took it everday. It helps quite a bit.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the input. It sounds a lot like me. Writing things down helps me a great deal and good health is something I've always taken time for. I also need to reread things in order to comprehend well, but I've always chalked it up to me wanting to know it in complete detail and to organize is visually in my head.

Interesting...
 
And now I can say Trev, you never lost my attention. :D

More funny stories people? I've got a few more, but they'll have to wait until morning! zzzzzz!
 
Yay! Thanks, Moxie

Here's an unfunny story
One recent evening while entering a party at a hall, I was writing my name on a name tag and the old guy running the name tag table commented on my writing with a grimace. Old man, "You need to write it so people can read it, kid." (said with attitude)
I'd often been complimented on my hand writing and it was completely legible to me and my guest, so I turned the name tag around on the table so he could see it right side up.
Old man, "Oh, I see it now. It looked like graffiti...."

I just put the tag on and walked away. I wasn't even wearing homey clothes.
:m076:
 
There's a drinking game called 'genie of the glass', whereby you get an unsuspecting friend to stare at a beer glass and watch for the genie to appear. Whilst they are focussing, you heat the bottom of the glass with a lighter, so that a black residue forms. All the while you're talking to your friend about the genie of the glass and getting them to focus, whilst surreptitiously smearing your finger with the black residue and wiping it on their face (pretending you are guiding their meditation). Once they are suitably besmirched, you end the game, expressing your dissapointment that the genie did not appear for them.

This is the background for the following:

I used to work in a catholic college. Not being catholic myself, I was ignorant of some of the traditions. So on Ash Wednesday, imagine my chagrin, when a respectable lady came into my workplace with a black cross on her head, which I could only explain to myself in one way, and I inadvisably asked her if she had indeed seen the genie of the glass.

:m049:


From the same period of my history, I can also advise, that no matter how good you are at doing impressions, the place to put on your best irish leprechaun voice is not a catholic college.

:m025:
 
Oh my gosh Helpful Elf, that was so funny! That totally sounds like something I would've done. Awesome!

Totally envious of your Irish Leprechaun voice too! :D
 
Helpful Elf said:
There's a drinking game called 'genie of the glass', whereby you get an unsuspecting friend to stare at a beer glass and watch for the genie to appear. Whilst they are focussing, you heat the bottom of the glass with a lighter, so that a black residue forms. All the while you're talking to your friend about the genie of the glass and getting them to focus, whilst surreptitiously smearing your finger with the black residue and wiping it on their face (pretending you are guiding their meditation). Once they are suitably besmirched, you end the game, expressing your dissapointment that the genie did not appear for them.

This is the background for the following:

I used to work in a catholic college. Not being catholic myself, I was ignorant of some of the traditions. So on Ash Wednesday, imagine my chagrin, when a respectable lady came into my workplace with a black cross on her head, which I could only explain to myself in one way, and I inadvisably asked her if she had indeed seen the genie of the glass.

:m049:


From the same period of my history, I can also advise, that no matter how good you are at doing impressions, the place to put on your best irish leprechaun voice is not a catholic college.

:m025:
Click to expand...
There are many times that I wish I could have put bandaids on my mouth!! There are also times that I wish I could put bandaids on my fingers. I can put my foot in my mouth but sometimes I can type with my feet as well.
 
Nice stories. Let me share mine now. Have you seen the most amazing dog in the world! Well try to watch this video. It's very funny I promise!
 
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me and a friend went out for a few drinks one night, both of us sporting our fathers muscle cars, his an all wheel drive sti, mine a rear wheel drive 77' hornet. i didn't normally drink and drive so i left mine at a mutual friends house about a mile down the road from my own.

upon leaving the bar we were both throroughly intoxicated and headed towards our friends in the rain. of couse the sti being awd tore apart the open roads as we rip roared through the country side. not to be shown up, upon leaving our mutual friends with me now also behind the wheel, i gave the hornet a pretty good start out of my friends drive way with a blast of fuel which in turn sent the rear wheel drive 77 fishtailing into his neighbors ditch simultaneously sending his mail box airborne into the night.

i spun my wheels for about half and hour but eventually after getting out i called my friend to inform him that i had noticed some careless driver had hit his neighbors (who was also his uncle) mailbox, though it surely wasn't me and that he may want to inform him in the morning. my friend seemed suspicious, but assured me he would do just this yet later in the week his father was giving me some pretty nasty looks despite my claim of innocence. after a month of waiting i slipped a 20 into the newly resurrected mailbox and called it even, though this experience still fuels my current distaste for alcohol.
 
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