Nobody has to read this thing if they don't want to.
It would be great if feminism could come to mean that women could accentuate and thoroughly enjoy their feminine aspect and dignity.
Why yes. Yes it would.
Creating the paradigm of the oppressor and the oppressed seems somewhat misleading. I am a straight, white, able bodied, male and I've never personally oppressed anyone. Everyone has equal opportunities in any areas of life or business I have personal control over.
True... and no one is accusing you personally of oppressing anyone. (I certainly hope not!!!)
The thing is, oppression can be either personal or public. Similar to public health issues vs. personal health issues -- one person can get vaccinated for the flu, for example, but unless millions of people do it, it is not going to help reduce deaths from flu. Likewise, one person can refrain from oppressing anyone, but until general fairness and respect is the rule, on a large scale, it is not going to make much of a difference. And I do believe that general fairness and respect is
not the rule, worldwide.
There are many ways of measuring this.
To try to explain what I mean: I am sure most people in China have not left their infant daughters out to die, or aborted them as fetuses, but enough have done so, that there are currently 121 males born to 100 females.
YOU didn't do this... but enough people did, that there are measurable, real numbers that make it obvious and easy to see the preferential treatment of males.
I think what I am trying to say is that the oppressor is in all of us -- there is not a "Person" who is oppressing everyone, but the results of a sort of mass conciousness (???) which makes things really and measurably oppressing for women in many places. China was just one example.
There are parallels with slavery or racism: I personally have NEVER been a slaveowner, or practiced racism against anyone. But I've had enough experience with Jim Crow, that it would be absurd to declare racism dead simply because my friends and I do not practice it. And yes, reverse racism exists too, just like reverse sexism exists. But looking at the numbers, anyone can tell at a societal level that something is happening that makes things harder for certain groups.
But it gets complicated, because people are so good at creating their own problems, on top of any oppression that exists. Men, women, minorities, everyone does this.
People on the whole need to take responsibility for themselves and their communities. Because whereas it would be absurd for
me to go and try to change things in China, it is easy for me to help myself succeed, and to try to mentor and help people near me, and improve the rights of everyone over whom I have any influence.
Personally, I never considered myself a raging feminist. I would much prefer to have the same amount of power and respect as my husband, brothers, and sons.
And I want the same opportunities for education and advancement as my male colleagues, some who do really oppress women, and some who don't. I've seen too much to ever believe we have approached gender equality.
I do agree with what many people have said today, that in western countries, where I live today, women are treated much much better than they were years ago, and have far more opportunities. And some women do hate men, and vice versa.
Although, I think it was on this website someone said that women who wanted college degrees were only out to get "Mrs." degrees. Someone told me that years ago when I was working toward my degree. Makes me wonder what year this is... anyway.
Biggest problem with gender equality today, in my opinion, is that the way women are portrayed in the media is NO GOOD for women or for men, and people are media addicts who are looking in the wrong places for role models. Role models do exist, quite a few of them. Female doctors, for instance, are powerful and also love their husbands and sons... they just don't have their own reality shows, usually.
It makes me sad to know some of my young female friends have been told over and over again, directly and obliquely, that they are not beautiful unless they live up to some impossible standard, and that they are only worthwhile if they are beautiful and attractive to men.
That happens soooo often, and it is so fucked up.
I would not want any man I cared about to marry or be with a woman who was not, on some level, a feminist, one who wants personal responsibility, because otherwise it would not be a partnership of equals but an employee/servant/slave relationship.
And for those men who want powerless women: think about this: how much do
you love/respect
your boss, and if someone offered you a more lucrative job, would you take it? Yes? Well this is the exact same dynamic that exists in a relationship where there is an imbalance of power. You'll just be one more thing on the to-do list, nothing more. That's why I say that feminism is and should be good for men and women. (which was kind of the OPs point, no?)
MOST men do NOT want this kind of relationship, I know this! But some do. Therefore, powerful women who take personal responsibility should not be threatening to men.
