Feeling emotional pain physically | INFJ Forum

Feeling emotional pain physically

Gaze

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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Someone mentioned in another thread the feeling of tearing occuring when you separate from someone emotionally. And it got me thinking that I experience attachments in this way. This is why I have a hard time letting go sometimes.

When an attachment is formed, it feels like a physical link or bond has been established and when it's broken, it feels like a string cut without nothing at the other end. I think that's why it's never as simple as turning your feelings off.

Just something I've noticed and always assumed was experienced by everyone but it seems it isn't.
 
Like I said before, when I've created an attachment it is like giving a piece of my soul that I can never get back.
 
if I bond with you it is permanent. . .to severe it takes force. .
tearing my soul apart. . nothing hurts worse. . .and it is the loss of part of me I can never recover. .
 
I feel emotional pain physically. This also counts for the pain from severing a bond with someone, yes.
 
The worst heartbreak I went through, which I wrote about here, was like nothing I ever encountered. The pain in my chest. I thought my lungs were literally collapsing. I vomited for hours on end three days straight, stopped eating & lost 10 lbs. in a week. I think this is why I get so enraged when I feel like some of the men here are preying on the infj or infp women. You could actually kill her, or at least make her wish she was dead. Have your fun elsewhere.
 
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purplecrayons said:
The worst heartbreak I went through, which I wrote about here, was like nothing I ever encountered. The pain in my chest. I thought my lungs were literally collapsing. I vomited for hours on end three days straight, stopped eating & lost 10 lbs. in a week.
Click to expand...

Wow, that's quite a bit to handle. Glad you're ok now. :)
 
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There was an afternoon where my mom phoned me and said, "Dad's in the hospital. He's had a stroke and he's in a coma. It's probably a good idea for you to come." So I just stuck the kids in the car and took off. As I was driving on the freeway, my chest just hurt. It felt as though there were a string or rope or band of some kind attached to my heart, and it was being pulled. It hurt. Just as I was nearing the offramp, I felt a snap, like that rubber band had been broken, the rope gone, and the pressure pain turned to a feeling of great emptiness. And so I just knew... He had died.

Real life is stranger than fiction. Maybe it was just bipolar me being my nutcase self. Or maybe it is more. Who knows?
 
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There was an afternoon where my mom phoned me and said, "Dad's in the hospital. He's had a stroke and he's in a coma. It's probably a good idea for you to come." So I just stuck the kids in the car and took off. As I was driving on the freeway, my chest just hurt. It felt as though there were a string or rope or band of some kind attached to my heart, and it was being pulled. It hurt. Just as I was nearing the offramp, I felt a snap, like that rubber band had been broken, the rope gone, and the pressure pain turned to a feeling of great emptiness. And so I just knew... He had died.

Real life is stranger than fiction. Maybe it was just bipolar me being my nutcase self. Or maybe it was more. Who knows?
 
GracieRuth said:
There was an afternoon where my mom phoned me and said, "Dad's in the hospital. He's had a stroke and he's in a coma. It's probably a good idea for you to come." So I just stuck the kids in the car and took off. As I was driving on the freeway, my chest just hurt. It felt as though there were a string or rope or band of some kind attached to my heart, and it was being pulled. It hurt. Just as I was nearing the offramp, I felt a snap, like that rubber band had been broken, the rope gone, and the pressure pain turned to a feeling of great emptiness. And so I just knew... He had died.

Real life is stranger than fiction. Maybe it was just bipolar me being my nutcase self. Or maybe it was more. Who knows?
Click to expand...

I am so sorry for your loss. .
 
GracieRuth: I'm so sorry that you dad had to go that way. I hope you've found a place of stillness and have been able to continue onward. It's never easy losing someone close to you...


On emotional pain becoming physical:
I actually try to avoid making close friends because I'm so susceptible to this kind of.. ridiculousness.

When I was in middle school (correction, had just graduated *from* middle school), my family moved from south Georgia to north Georgia. I left everyone I'd ever known, the terrain I was familiar with- even the accent I was familiar with, and was plopped down in a completely new place.

Needless to say, I was literally sick for two weeks, bedridden from stress and anguish.

It didn't help that we had to leave one of our pets behind in the move. God, it was so hectic...


It's kind of funny, too, because I consider myself a sturdy person. In body, I am very sturdy- often called to lift heavy things / move heavy things, etc, but when it comes to stuff like losing friends or starting a new life, I'm am absolutely susceptible to gut-punches from my emotions, and I can be incapacitated just because of what I feel.
 
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Bad emotions are sometimes better than no emotions. It seems that agony at loss is in some way a welcome thing - because to simply forget, or move on would be cheap.

That said, I seldom experience emotions of sorrow; the last time in more than ten years was when I watched A.I. of all things. With the exception of anger I'm usually an emotional desert - this is not a good thing. [MENTION=1669]Rite[/MENTION]; I wish I could switch on my emotions sometimes - the grass is always greener and all that.
 
Wow.....I always just kinda assumed I was the only one who did this: as none of my family or friends do (or at least not at the strength to which things seem to effect me). Major life changes tend to freak my body out for weeks.

The first know example of this: when I was 1.5 years old and my little sister was born. I was literally sick to my tummy for a couple of weeks! (I also, infamously, told my parents to "take her back" to the hospital =P)

These days new situations or stressful life situations tend to cause a milder version of this bodily upset.

I thankfully do not have a recent heartbreak or great sorrow to relate, but I can only imagine the havoc such would wreak.

My emotional de-stressor is crying (and talking with my husband). But even after I've washed the problem away emotionally and come to terms with it mentally, I still feel like it takes a bit for the residual body upset to fade. (Often resulting for me in an "emotional hangover" sorta thing the next morning).
 
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I think it's very important to take the physical manifestations of emotional pain seriously. It's as real as the pain of a broken bone or serious flesh wound. So, if possible, be good to yourself and treat yourself in the same way you would were you medically ill because, indeed, you are.
 
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Rite said:
Someone mentioned in another thread the feeling of tearing occuring when you separate from someone emotionally. And it got me thinking that I experience attachments in this way. This is why I have a hard time letting go sometimes.

When an attachment is formed, it feels like a physical link or bond has been established and when it's broken, it feels like a string cut without nothing at the other end. I think that's why it's never as simple as turning your feelings off.

Just something I've noticed and always assumed was experienced by everyone but it seems it isn't.
Click to expand...

Fascinating topic Rite! Now I haven't realized that this is a phenomena that most people DO NOT have either.
But when I was in a long distance relationship, and the difficulty of it, grated on my soul, I was incredibly physically
affected as well. It felt as if a whole part of me was left behind, that I was chained...and each small negative movement that
my S.O made, felt like a dagger slowly deepening down a large wound.

At a particularly bad point, I threatened S.O (now ex) that I could make myself un-love him. That it was possible, with my will-power, but it would be excruciating...it would be like killing myself slowly from the inside. He didn't understand (and I didn't at the time) how much pain I was in to say something like this.

People who are particularly in streamline with their emotions and have large emotive depth, are more prone to being hurt in so many ways---spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally.
 
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to quote "Need You Now". .
"I'd rather hurt than feel nothin at all. . . "
 
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Oh gods yes....

In my more excruciating moments, I've actually caused myself physical pain purposefully just to try to drown out the other, or distract myself from it, because it felt infinitely worse. Sometimes it worked.

Although I've been suspecting I am probably a closet borderline for a while now on top of this. It sucks badly knowing on some level how dramatic and out of control you've let yourself become on account of emotional pain (well at least for me it sucks). Being able to do literally nothing about it, apart from try to isolate yourself as much as possible to minimize casualties and just wait it out also sucks.
 
So, right now I'm going through a very hard time with my very old parents (I saw them this weekend) who are exhibiting symptoms of dementia that seems to be accelerating at a very fast rate. My mother, in particular, has deteriorated significantly in the last four months. It's extremely painful to see her losing her personality. All day today I've felt a slight headache and nausea and, being an INTP, I just didn't know why. Then it occurred to me that, obviously, I was extremely upset about my parents! It shouldn't take an emotional genius, but at least I eventually came to that understanding by myself. Talking it over tonight with my INFJ made things a bit better. My ENTJ(P?) sister is acting in character and making plans for eventualities and giving us siblings assignments. ENTJ's are great to have in a crisis.
 
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I don't take stress well in general. I've been very stressed at work lately and for the past two weeks I was literally a walking muscle cramp. It was so bad that I couldn't even turn my head because my shoulders and neck were so tensed up that and people would comment. When I finally broke down to get a massage the masseuse told me that whatever I was doing I needed to stop immediately because my body couldn't handle it --she even threw in an extra half hour in pity. I've developed a severe case of TMD (jaw joint problems) and a portion of that is due to my tendency to clench and grind my teeth when I sleep (and sometimes when I'm awake) over the past 15 years. It's really painful and there really isn't a 'cure.' As far as other emotions, I frequently get headaches, stomach aches, and shooting pains when I'm upset, anxious or sad. I've always been this way.
 
Sensiko said:
I don't take stress well in general. I've been very stressed at work lately and for the past two weeks I was literally a walking muscle cramp. It was so bad that I couldn't even turn my head because my shoulders and neck were so tensed up that and people would comment. When I finally broke down to get a massage the masseuse told me that whatever I was doing I needed to stop immediately because my body couldn't handle it --she even threw in an extra half hour in pity. I've developed a severe case of TMD (jaw joint problems) and a portion of that is due to my tendency to clench and grind my teeth when I sleep (and sometimes when I'm awake) over the past 15 years. It's really painful and there really isn't a 'cure.' As far as other emotions, I frequently get headaches, stomach aches, and shooting pains when I'm upset, anxious or sad. I've always been this way.
Click to expand...

The world would be a better place, politicians would consider compromise a virtue, and tea-baggers would chill out if everyone got a massage once a week.

Regarding your teeth grinding, you really should get a mouth guard to protect your teeth and jaw when you sleep. It distributes the forces evenly when you clench and grind, which prevents long-term damage and limits the pain. Your dentist can advise you.
 
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