Fe Overload and Parenting.

Sometimes I feel as though I am completely overwhelmed by the demands of my children.

I have a set of boy/girl twins. They are 2.5 and I don't know what to do with them sometimes. It seems as if they switch up days to act up on me, and then I have to adjust to the personality changes when they do this.

Ok. For instance, YESTERDAY, my son didn't want to brush his teeth. I had to cajole and coax, and then I finally got angry and yelled. Then we were both angry with each other. So that morning, I'm propelling him down the street to preschool. He decided he was no longer on the Cooperative with Mommy List.

TODAY'S morning, my daughter is running around the house naked. Today, she has taken herself off of the Cooperative with Mommy List. And TODAY, my son is being the sweetest little thing in the world, dressed and brushing his teeth (!!!!), saying "Thank you." and just being awesome overall. I have to chase my daughter down and drag her into the bathroom to get her dressed. Her feelings were so hurt, and I felt bad, but she needed to listen to what I was telling her.

I'm going to admit something so terrible. I do not look forward to going home after work. After they greet me with kisses and hugs and "Mommy, I MISSED you!" immediately afterwards: "Mommy I WANT some candy!"

"Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"No."



"Well, we can't have candy until after dinner.." in cool voice.

CRASH BANG BOOM MAYHEM AND CHAOS!!!!

temper tantrums, leaning on the refrigerator, making themselves heavy, rolling on the floor, shrieking..

right now I am laughing at my description, but it really is not funny when I am observing it. All I usually do is walk away. I don't believe in spankings, whuppings, whatever and such (which really makes me an outcast in my family, because apparently, I am the "Black Hippie", and really I just don't believe in beating people into compliance no matter what their status or age in society is: "TIMEOUTS, that shit dont work, etc."

I really am trying to figure out how to prepare myself for this onslaught of toddler stuff when I get home from work. Cuz all the Fe of dealing with them is quite overwhelming, so much when they finally go to bed, I turn off all of the lights, computer everything, and just roam the house in the dark for a couple of hours. I get absolutely no cleaning, dish washing, laundry folding done after this.

I know there's a way of getting through it, but hell.... *literally SMH*

 

I'm going to start putting myself in time-out. Really. Their grandfather would put himself in timeout and they would literally freak out.

What do you do when you feel like jumping in the car and pulling off?? lol

 

*silently laughing MAO at my desk*

i'm like "dude...wtf is that?" What angst is this portraying???? my FJ is way lost on this...

 

Oh neat. I'm gonna get them some Special Earmuffs. They have great imaginations. All I have to tell them a type of game to start playing and they play it.

Overall, I think it's cool that I am an INFJ mom of twins. I certainly do not think any other personality type could handle these two, because I really am hanging on to strings from a bridge sometimes.

 

LOL!

I would have totally died from Rage!

...sometimes I feel like those Blowfish thingies! I start getting inflated with all this hot ass air!

If I weren't so poor, I would have a Nanny, I swear! And it'd probably be one of my nieces because they totally de-escalate the meltdowns when they see me about to have one.

 

My son is a rare biter. He gets in these aggressive moods sometimes. and too, bit me on the softest part of my butt one day and broke the skin. I went inside of myself on that one because I so wanted to bite him back. My ass was hurting for a week afterwards.

Last night I was very conscious of my temperament levels and how I was interacting with them. They responded pretty well actually. I did put my daughter in time-out last night though. She can ignore people pretty well since she was an infant even, but I think that's genetic, as my mother does it, and I do it also.

Today I will put myself in time-out and see how this works. Yesterday, such extremes didn't occur.

They have these really strong personalities, and have been that way from inside the womb. I KNEW they would be these personality-developed newborns and I was so correct. Vastly polar they are, in physical and spiritual characteristics, and everyone thinks they are hilarious. Both of them seem a bit high-strung and I am really laid back, so we appear to be a sitcom sometimes. The mother lying in the middle of the living room floor covering her eyes, while the kids are standing on the backs of the sofas with skullys and rubber rain boots, touching the wall paintings and saying "Look Mommy!"

I am thinking of putting them in a Waldorf school though. I went and toured one on the other side of town and my heart expanded. I'm sure they'll be great at whatever they choose in life and I think the school lets personalities develop before ramming all the academic shit down their throats.

I think sometimes I am so concerned about them that I can't relax. Right now I'm a bit high-strung myself because I still havent gotten an X-Mas tree or Winter boots for them(in Michigan, fortunately we have had no snow). So by the end of the work day I am all wound up with planning things and when I get home and they're yelling and throwing things and their granny feeds them spaghetti and they throw it all over the kitchen, I'm just ready to tuck and roll and hide in the deepest corner of the basement.. (lol)

I do thank you all for your advice. I'm sure it will get better. And today is Mommy's Hang Out Night so I am indeed looking forward to burning off some angst with Merlot and hours of dancing alone on the dancefloor....

 

I was sliding around on noodles in the kitchen this morning. ha!

I just got a lil extra cash too this morning so i'm gonna run and get the book from Border's (and an XMAS tree, well not from border's) before I go home.

I so understand the hovering. I can be in another room. and it seems as if my ears detach themselves and go hover in the room thet they're in, or whatever corner my consciousness perceives them to be in, because sometimes they can get away from me which I don't like, but I guess I have to start granting them tiny bits of freedom.

I think I am a slacker mommy in a lot of ways. But then, of course INFJs judge themselves harshly, are prone to perfectionism, etc. so I don't really think I am but I do think I can do so much better. My family is full of mothers who spank and curse at their children, and I am enraged by it. It makes my Soul very sad. And I think that's why all the kids in my family gravitate to me because I'm way laid back but I do expect good behavior without all the cursing and belts and stuff.

If I even say "frikkin" or "stupid" my kids are all like "Mommy, don't say that!!!!"

I feel a lot better today, especially since I know later this evening I will be with some adult people I barely know, yet they seem to really understand my INJF-ness. It really helps me wind down....

 

:rofl:

 

Omgosh the hilarity. I just came out of TimeOut. They went ballistic. I was dying of laughter on the inside but it worked. Lololol
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