Father/Child relationship. | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Father/Child relationship.

What was your father like?
Introverted but slightly insane like me, very intelligent and good with numbers even though he has never taken a class past algebra 1/geometry. He's a military man, which makes him strict in some ways, but he also encourages me to think on my behalf and be a strong person. He also dealt with a lot of my bs

Share one good memory about him.

My dad completely renovated my bed room floor recently. It was to the point that the carpet could no longer be repaired (or, well, i'm just to lazy to do it)

Share one bad memory about him.

He's given me a few ruthless beat downs before, with a belt of course, and sometimes his hand.

If he wasn't involved in your life, why?

Was he involved? What did he do?

He was a military man, and now a working man, so I don't get to see him ALL the time but generally he helps me out, I know I can talk to him (but I generally don't seek advice from him) and is overall a good parent. Granted, I still live with him, and I'm biased in that i'm annoyed at him right now.
 
My father is a good man, a hardworking person who taught me responsibility and ethics. I admire him greatly.
 
What was your father like?

He's an ISTJ, so he's most of the usual stuff that goes along with being one of them. Generally he's reserved, very practical and hands-on (he does all the DIY around the house), can be very blunt sometimes (and he does that ISTJ thing of not really thanking or complimenting or congratulating you when you do something that in his mind was something you were supposed to be doing anyway) and of course he likes things to be organised his way, so he can be a little bit controlling in that regard.

He's also a 6 on the enneagram, so he's loyal to certain social structures that help him feel secure, mainly family (who he's devoted to) and church (even though by his own admission he's not really a Christian).

Share one good memory about him.

Just one? When I was little, even though my mother is the more expressive emotionally (she's ISFP), he's be the one I went to for hugs or whatever when I was ill, I think because he gave off an air of stability and security.

Oh, and one time, when my years on this planet were still of single digits, we went out for a walk together and chanced across a fox hunt. Surprisingly (to me at least) he voiced his dissaproval of them within earshot of one of the huntsmen and got into a brief discussion/debate with him on the issue. Being the fluffy little INFP that I am I've never been a fan of fox hunting, so I was quite proud of him that he did that.

Share one bad memory about him.

He's got a really short temper, so hardly a day goes by without him blowing up about something or other. I got into a really quite vicious argument with him once, when I was just coming up to my teens, about my refusal to get a hair-cut, of all things.

If he wasn't involved in your life, why?

N/A

Was he involved? What did he do?

He's my dad, he did most everything dad's are supposed to do. He wasn't present much during my youngest years because he worked really long hours, so he'd be going to work before I got up and coming back more or less after I'd gone to bed. But apart from that he's always been around, doing dad-like things.

Was your dad financially responsible?

Very, though he does have a very generous streak when it comes to the family.

Was your dad emotionally involved?

Yes, in his own T-ish way.

Was your dad neglectful?

No, at least not intentionally. He's always provided for me in terms of my practical needs but he's never really got a handle on my emotional requirements.

Was your dad physically abusive?

Never.
 
What was your father like?
- He's... I feel like I'm going to run out of words. He's bipolar, has insecurity issues, paranoid, pessimistic, prideful. Regardless, there would also be times where he would be quite hilarious, optimistic, and caring, maybe even thoughtful and doting in some points.

Share one good memory about him.
- Whenever he's Mr. Nice Guy, he's overall wonderful, though I'm always cautious about this. There would always be a down slide to all that unbelievable optimism that he sometimes displays.

Share one bad memory about him.
- He used to drink excessively when we were younger, and whenever he's drunk, he'd tell me every shortcoming that I ever displayed. I think it traumatized me on some level up to this day. Whenever I dream about him, he's always drunk, but that's my psychological issue.

Was he involved? What did he do?
- Oh he's involved alright, except in a wrong method. His form of encouragement is telling me that I could never achieve anything. That I'm irresponsible, immature, etc. His praises would be something along the lines of 'That's it? You couldn't do any better than that?' Ha. Ha.
I can't even remember the last time he said 'Thank you' or 'That's great!' The words 'I love you' is so out of the question.

If he wasn't involved in your life, why?
- N/A.

Was your dad financially responsible?
- In some respects, yes.

Was your dad emotionally involved?
- No. If there was ever a point that he was emotionally involved, it was because of his ego, nothing more.

Was your dad neglectful?
- No, I wouldn't say that. Amidst all his negativities, I would sincerely say that he does treasure our family and loves us in his own way.

Was your dad physically abusive?
- Nah. He used to beat us when we were younger but he stopped. Our mom is against physical abuse so they'd usually argue whenever he hit us with anything.


If I didn't know any better, I would honestly say that I hate him.
 
yumiii said:
What was your father like?
- He's... I feel like I'm going to run out of words. He's bipolar, has insecurity issues, paranoid, pessimistic, prideful. Regardless, there would also be times where he would be quite hilarious, optimistic, and caring, maybe even thoughtful and doting in some points.

Share one good memory about him.
- Whenever he's Mr. Nice Guy, he's overall wonderful, though I'm always cautious about this. There would always be a down slide to all that unbelievable optimism that he sometimes displays.

Share one bad memory about him.
- He used to drink excessively when we were younger, and whenever he's drunk, he'd tell me every shortcoming that I ever displayed. I think it traumatized me on some level up to this day. Whenever I dream about him, he's always drunk, but that's my psychological issue.

Was he involved? What did he do?
- Oh he's involved alright, except in a wrong method. His form of encouragement is telling me that I could never achieve anything. That I'm irresponsible, immature, etc. His praises would be something along the lines of 'That's it? You couldn't do any better than that?' Ha. Ha.
I can't even remember the last time he said 'Thank you' or 'That's great!' The words 'I love you' is so out of the question.

If he wasn't involved in your life, why?
- N/A.

Was your dad financially responsible?
- In some respects, yes.

Was your dad emotionally involved?
- No. If there was ever a point that he was emotionally involved, it was because of his ego, nothing more.

Was your dad neglectful?
- No, I wouldn't say that. Amidst all his negativities, I would sincerely say that he does treasure our family and loves us in his own way.

Was your dad physically abusive?
- Nah. He used to beat us when we were younger but he stopped. Our mom is against physical abuse so they'd usually argue whenever he hit us with anything.


If I didn't know any better, I would honestly say that I hate him.
Click to expand...


Your dad sounds just like my mom. She is ESTJ. And I do hate her, I'm pretty sure. But I still love her, if that makes sense.
 
Tim= The Last Mohican.
 
I don't, it stems from a misunderstanding in the tinychat where he came in with the username

TLM

but in this case the L was a straight line, and I mistook it for 'Tim' and had been calling him Tim ever since.

I explained this on my blog yield.

-sigh-
 
Hmm yeah, not feeling masochistic right now, so won't peruse that 10+ page monster.
 
hmm, it's only about four pages for me.
 
Share one good memory about him: He is very giving in a material way.

Share one bad memory about him: He has no concept of emotion.

If he wasn't involved in your life, why? He was involved in that he an my mom stayed together until 2 years ago, so I lived with him until I left for college. However, he is a work/power/money addict so much of the time I lived with him he was not very involved because of the addiction.

Was he involved? What did he do? He taught me to lose myself in work. It can be helpful sometimes.
 
What was your father like?
As a kid I had nothing but fear and loathing for the man, although I do not fear him any longer I've never feared anything as much as I did him. I remember him as cruel, quick to temper and always going overboard with every thing. He mentally and physically abused all of us and we'd get severely punished for even the slightest of things. He seems to have mellowed out a bit over the years however, he does not get anywhere near as angry and certainly doesn't beat us any more. I'm not sure if that's because change of certain factors or because we're all bigger now though. Shame though, he makes a lousy father but his mind is brilliant and he is possibly the most interesting person I've ever known.

Share one good memory about him.
Eh, can't really think of any particularly good ones right now, although he did always have some interesting stories to tell.

Share one bad memory about him.
The first time we moved away while he was out of the country on business, he was given a second chance however and moved into the second house we lived in to see if things could be reconciled. He blew that chance when my mother came out of her room one morning around 6 to find my father strangling my younger brother because he refused to wake me up as ordered. (They'd already been having an argument over trivial stuff, my brother didn't want to go and bring me into it)

If he wasn't involved in your life, why?
Not as involved in my adolescent years I suppose, but I didn't want to be around him at that stage and he has no one to blame but himself.

Was he involved? What did he do?
In my early years I suppose, my siblings and I were mostly used to do everything around the house and yard. Heh, I used to get fairly pissed off when other kids complained about the minor chores they'd get given.
 
RecklessDreamer said:
Your dad sounds just like my mom. She is ESTJ. And I do hate her, I'm pretty sure. But I still love her, if that makes sense.
Click to expand...

Lol, that's funny. My dad's an ESTJ too, with introverted tendencies. o_o'
 
What was your father like?

He is impulsive, hot temper hermit.

Share one good memory about him.

He made me a swing.

Share one bad memory about him.

Irresponsibility.

If he wasn't involved in your life, why?

Because he chosen.

Was your dad financially responsible?

yes

Was your dad emotionally involved?

Yes

Was your dad neglectful?

yes

Was your dad physically abusive?

yes
 
My dad is well-developed INTJ. He loves to party, doesn't take life too seriously, is severely annoyed my stupidity, and uses humor to take the edge off. He's incredibly intelligent in that out-of-the-box sort of way

Most of my memories of him are good memories. We get along very well. We have similar sense of humor and are both very laid-back and have the same understood boundaries. A bad memory comes in mind: I talked back to him once, and he just looked at me and said, "What did you say?" I never talked back to him again. He can be real intense.

My dad is not neglectful, not irresponsible, not abusive. He is fairly emotionally reserved, but not emotionally unavailable. It's obvious he cares very much. There is a radio commercial that my mom comments on every time it airs -- it is of a dad that refuses to give up his "lucky chair" because the game was on. My dad hates that commercial, apparently, because he despises the idea that a father would not give up a chair to his children :D He loves us and he sacrifices for us without asking anything in return; although he says he doesn't like kids and wouldn't want another, he fills the father role damn near perfectly
 
What was your father like?
Pretty laid back, intelligent, friendly to most people, defensive of his family and friends, a bit weak-willed.
Share one good memory about him.
Sneaking into the private house's gardens across the road at night to feed the fish in the pond. Watching a wide variety of films together. Debating stuff. Climbing trees with a make-shift rope harness.
Share one bad memory about him.
Meeting him when he was drunk one day and finding out he was an alcoholic.
If he wasn't involved in your life, why?
Haven't seen him for a few years because of alcoholism, but after getting mouth cancer he's stopped drinking and next month I'll probably start seeing him again.
Was he involved? What did he do?
Involved in being the fun dad, who gave me and my sister a lot of freedom and nurtured our creativity.
Was your dad finacially responsible?
Pfft, no way XD my mum's the responsible one.
Was your dad emotionally involved?
Very much so.
Was your dad neglectful?
No, he was always there.
Was your dad physically abusive?
100% no. He's really kind and caring.
 
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