Enneagram 4's: emotional highs/lows, possible emotional masochism, and growth

Suraj Z

Suraj Z

Newbie
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
451 sx/so/s-p
To start off with, I'm unsure of my main Enneagram type. As best as I can tell, it's one of 4, 1, 9, or 5 (listed in descending order of probability). In any event, I can at least say that I've experienced "the 4-side"--especially as far as social situations and hyper-emotionality, in certain instances, have been concerned--enough to identify with and understand how the 4's underlying motivations and reactive patterns work.

My questions, for any self-identifying (and preferably INF) 4's out here, are: Have you found any effective ways of mitigating your tendency toward unhealthy emotional highs/lows or emotional masochism? What are they, if so?

Secondarily, for those who have successfully (or sufficiently) integrated with their inner growth-type 1: What life experiences or lessons have led you to grow past your average 4-ness in favor of healthy 1-ness? How does your integrative 1-ness manifest in your daily life?

Thanks in advance!
 
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What works is staying grounded and focused on one goal or objective. As a 4, i'm an expert at self indulgence, and every change of mood affects the way i relate to the world quite dramatically so i'm always reminding myself that these loops and inner turmoils are just temporary and that i shouldn't fall for them that easily. Doing that creates a further distance from people i like and my own environment as a whole, a distance that i hate, but it's also there by default.
I have some 1esque traits here and there, but overall i'm still quite immature, i go to unhealthy 2 far more easily, nonetheless, what i've said above i think it appplies.

Big 4 advice that i've heard: Use your own imagination, do something with your fantasies, just be aware of not getting swollen by them.
 
BrokenDaniel said:
What works is staying grounded and focused on one goal or objective. As a 4, i'm an expert at self indulgence, and every change of mood affects the way i relate to the world quite dramatically so i'm always reminding myself that these loops and inner turmoils are just temporary and that i shouldn't fall for them that easily. Doing that creates a further distance from people i like and my own environment as a whole, a distance that i hate, but it's also there by default.
I have some 1esque traits here and there, but overall i'm still quite immature, i go to unhealthy 2 far more easily, nonetheless, what i've said above i think it appplies.

Big 4 advice that i've heard: Use your own imagination, do something with your fantasies, just be aware of not getting swollen by them.
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I have the same problem and trying to regulate my mood swings, by practicing zen Buddhism mediation and mindfulness.i get very jealous of people and try to become consiousley aware of when my mind is grasphing onto things and try to stop the resentment from forming,and remind myself to be happy for others.if I start self pitying my self and im having an emotnional low I don't attach myself to the feelings I identify the cause then treat myself as if I have the flu or a bad headache and wait for it to pass.i try to stay outside my head and be mindful of things around me and the natural beauty in the world,how the air feels on my skin,how the sky looks,what people are doing in the background how are other people feeling what they they thinking how can I help them.i try to focus on the present and not think about the future or past because there is no point in worrying about anything outside the present moment because you will because disengaged from where you are and what your doing and this will negatively effect you.
 
What I have learned about myself, is the fact that I am highly aware of my emotions and they help me to fill my persona to feel complete. I don't think it's healthy to fight against these strong emotions, because sooner or later, you'll feel empty. You can't fight against the more natural part of one's self and emotions are indeed the absolute core of enneagram 4. Probably not seeing the emotions as defective and unhealthy would help. 4s tend to see themselves as defective and therefore the perception of one's emotion as bad might the problem itself. Just assuming the feeling is a natural part of yourself there's no wrong with being that way, letting it go and soaking it in its raw form is a good start. Being aware that feelings are here and are not necessary threatening.
 
Is this forum ok with reviving old threads? I've just gone through a lot of threads and not answered them because it's not done on forums.
Well, since it's done I'll answer it. : )
I'm a 5.6 and when I found out I also read about 5.4's who are the emotional counterparts of 5's. I thought I would rather have resulted 5.4 but a while later I sat down to watch a few episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation which I knew had a 5.6 in it called Data the android (and an INFJ as the captain). As I got to know the characters I realised that Data's personal quest was to be more human, esp emotions. That blew my mind. I try not to miss an episode these days.
I hope you 4's find resolution in your emotional life. : )
 
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