I fell into the enfp trap once again and I am bummed. Any other Infj males ever meet a enfp, have a good time with them, and then get completely ignored like you dont exist? All the while you wonder how they couldn't see the potential there is for friendship/romance between you? And then you begin to question yourself because you cant help seeing the potential between you two, and then realize that the only reason you suffer is because you saw that potential, and it might not have existed? In a way I hope I am alone in this. If not, care to share your experiences?
Enfp females: The Infj male destroyers?
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So how many ENFPs have you unsuccessfully romanced? Maybe they are just individual cases and not the rule?
I had only one encounter with this type. And even though she was attractive and showed quite a lot of interest in me, it was me who stopped the deal. Just too crazy and unpredictable. Good riddance.
I had only one encounter with this type. And even though she was attractive and showed quite a lot of interest in me, it was me who stopped the deal. Just too crazy and unpredictable. Good riddance.
8 years and 3 ENFPs later (including the current one) and I can offer you one piece of advice.
Hidden surprises. Nothing delights an ENFP and keeps their attention more than opening one gift box only to find another gift box inside.
Ain't that right [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION] ?
Hidden surprises. Nothing delights an ENFP and keeps their attention more than opening one gift box only to find another gift box inside.
Ain't that right [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION] ?
So what exactly is a ENFP trap? It doesnt sound like an official MBTI thing.
In my search for more info on what an ENFP trap was and found this, I think the bolded might be close to describing the ENFP trap:
In my search for more info on what an ENFP trap was and found this, I think the bolded might be close to describing the ENFP trap:
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No need to fix, I dont mind the assumption, I am a smart guy, good grades in college and all. Besides I think you've had your Fix too much already.
There was an ENFP female in my class, and somehow she just started liking me out of the blue. Nobody else showed interest nearly as much as she did. She noticed stuff that I said in class. She was pretty cool to talk to for a while, because she actually "gets" what I'm getting at──the subtle teasing and twists, etc──and she remarks about it openly.
She started sitting next to me and my buddies, one of whom thought she was crazy. (The other guy, who was ESFJ, didn't say anything unkind about her, since he says he tries to be nice to everybody.)
There was an ENFP female who started dating my INTJ friend. She seemed to have that same occasional habit of noting things openly about people, including her boyfriend, some of which might seem embarrassing or awkward. She was a pretty pleasant girl, but I kept my distance, because she seemed too friendly and direct for my taste.
She started sitting next to me and my buddies, one of whom thought she was crazy. (The other guy, who was ESFJ, didn't say anything unkind about her, since he says he tries to be nice to everybody.)
There was an ENFP female who started dating my INTJ friend. She seemed to have that same occasional habit of noting things openly about people, including her boyfriend, some of which might seem embarrassing or awkward. She was a pretty pleasant girl, but I kept my distance, because she seemed too friendly and direct for my taste.
"ENFP trap" makes it sounds like ENFP females are all a bunch of ladyboys.(Maybe we are.)
Alas, I can never look at you the same way again.
"ENFP trap" makes it sounds like ENFP females are all a bunch of ladyboys.
[MENTION=5697]Infjman[/MENTION] Have all of your experiences with them played out in the same manner?
Hi Niffer. My experiences with them have been different but the one constant is how I feel when I am around them. I thought about this last night and I think what the "trap" is is the feeling of complete freedom I feel around them. I have gotten used to being misunderstood frequently in life and having few people I can really talk about everything with. But finding someone I can be free around completely is an awesome feeling and I get addicted to that, and its been that way with all three of them. The difference is that I do not produce the same feeling in them. For them they get hooked on whatever it is they find interesting, whether its me, or something else, but once that's satisfied they go find it elsewhere because they are information gathering machines. The "destroyer" comment comes mainly from the differences in what we want. Most of the time I only want to be with them, and most of the time they want to be with different people.
Take a page from their book, its a much better way to be in the long run. 100% focus on 1 person becomes stuffy and suffocating eventually.
Do you know why they feel liberating to be around? Because they are honest to themselves and others with what they want (among other reasons). I think that wanting to only be with them is really sweet, so if you haven't tried it before, reach out to them more and be the one to ask for one on one time if you think the two of you have had good times together. Don't be afraid to act how you feel around them, and sooner or later to just tell them. When you share with them what you want, you show that you can share their sense of freedom with them and can liberate them in return.
I cannot speak for all ENFPs or your situation without getting overly simplistic and making a lot of assumptions, but if I were you I wouldn't feel too down about it. If you guys aren't communicating far enough on the same wavelength (from an ENFP perspective) for you guys to have eventually come together naturally, then it means there would probably be obstacles in the dynamic of communication within the relationship from right off the bat anyway. It also goes without saying that it's hard to make relationships work out, even if the constant fascination between the two individuals is there. Especially with two NFs, things can get disastrous when issues come up unless both parties have high emotional stability and emotional fortitude needed to get through it.
I am happy to help, so let me know if this is looking relevant to your situation or not.
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I think that they're probably the most innately likable type, and that, as a group, we really like it when we can be fond enough of someone to let down our guard. This means that whenever they do something that to them might seem fairly unimportant, it can really devastate us because, well, we're INFJs. Though I've never dated one, I do have ENFP platonic friends of both genders, and the only way to deal with them is to jack up your Fe and remind them that you're likable, since they have a tendency to, in my experience, bounce around.
Previous “ENFP” experience: two friends, current therapist, and one irl relationship -
- I’d say that ENFP’s do generally enjoy being with me and I with them… but they don’t often understand the appreciation we have for them. We can only be completely open/honest with a select few people, and that means that they mean a lot to us. We don’t always communicate our feels, so there can be some confusion…as they can talk with almost anyone : p
I’ve experienced these sorts of misunderstandings before…one way to possibly remedy this is to tell them how you really feel about them –> and hope that they won’t run away in fear.
Having them as friends is usually beneficial though, an ENFP friend is quite invaluable - particularly for INFJ's
- I’d say that ENFP’s do generally enjoy being with me and I with them… but they don’t often understand the appreciation we have for them. We can only be completely open/honest with a select few people, and that means that they mean a lot to us. We don’t always communicate our feels, so there can be some confusion…as they can talk with almost anyone : p
I’ve experienced these sorts of misunderstandings before…one way to possibly remedy this is to tell them how you really feel about them –> and hope that they won’t run away in fear.
Having them as friends is usually beneficial though, an ENFP friend is quite invaluable - particularly for INFJ's
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I've only known 1 confirmed ENFP and it was a dude. We had a lot of mental chemistry as friends and kept each other motivated. I think for his part, he really liked my calm nature, he came to see it like an anchor when he would get all emotionally twisted up on something, and he paid keen attention to tactics I used IRL to navigate around and he kept me motivated to try new things and go out more. so it was a good relationship while it lasted. lol