ending up alone | INFJ Forum

ending up alone

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by the, Apr 10, 2009.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 6 users.
More threads by the
  1. the

    the Si master race.
    Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Threads:
    479
    Messages:
    14,392
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,780
    Trophy Points:
    1,112
    MBTI:
    ISTJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    How many INFJ end up the products of failed marriages or never get married? I was wondering cause it seems like many INFJs on this and other forums have mentioned the possibility of ending up as an old maid with many cats.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. Sever

    Sever Newbie

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2009
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Not an Infj but just wanted to say that the possibility of ending up an old maid with many cats actually sounds appealing to me (course I might change my mind).
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. efromm

    efromm Hiding In My Shell...
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2008
    Threads:
    39
    Messages:
    3,417
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,989
    Trophy Points:
    792
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    InFj
    37 never walked down the isle. Some people tell me I am a loser. I just tell them with a divorce rate of over 50% I am a winner for not playing the game. All my buddies are paying child support and alimony and broke as hell look who the loser is now lol...
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. alcyone

    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2008
    Threads:
    33
    Messages:
    2,306
    Likes Received:
    109
    Trophy Points:
    210
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    WTF
    I don't want cats. I just want an African Grey Parrot.
     
  5. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
    Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Threads:
    323
    Messages:
    10,047
    Featured Threads:
    49
    Likes Received:
    5,611
    Trophy Points:
    1,102
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    MBTI:
    INTJ - A
    Enneagram:
    10000
    In several decades, the prospect of living a retired life with a house full of cats sounds like the closest thing to paradise on earth. I'll never marry.
     
  6. Dutch Cake

    Dutch Cake Community Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    751
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I am quite happy with the prospect of being alone when I'm old. I would love to live in a tree house and act like a crazy pirate. Sometimes I think a pet would just encroach on my alone time.
     
  7. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Move in with me. What city are you in?

    I need someone to help me manage all my books, in excess of 2.8 thousand on a wide range of topics.
     
  8. soulsearcher

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Threads:
    2
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I've got my fingers crossed for finding love
    dunno if that's really in the INFJ package tho. :m142:
    its quite annoyingly ironic that we are both stable and sensitive and probably the most open to love, but by the time everyone else grows up enough to see it, we've consined ourselves to a life with cats!

    although, i must say, there's naught wrong with that!:m027:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. Dutch Cake

    Dutch Cake Community Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    751
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I have my fingers crossed to find love over and over, but I never want to marry again. I am content with being alone for the rest of my life and I don't feel sad about it.
     
  10. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Threads:
    382
    Messages:
    11,688
    Likes Received:
    1,368
    Trophy Points:
    881
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    That question sucks because it's too close to home...

    I've never married, and I'm 40. Not exactly by choice, but things just ended up that way. Plus with my standards and my track record? Dating is...very difficult. :(
     
  11. Creon

    Creon Community Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Lawful Evil
    I don't know. Could be I end up alone, could be I find the love of my life tomorrow. I don't really think about it.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Black Swan

    Black Swan Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    18
    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    41
    Trophy Points:
    175
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Hm, I've been married for 4 years and I do enjoy being married to my spouse. However, if something were to happen to him, I don't know that I could get married again. But at the same time, I would still want a human companion/lover.

    But this question makes me wonder how many INFJ's actively date or look for companionship. I think being introverted, there's a lot less opportunity for potential relationships compared to that of an extrovert. I myself have never really pursued men. I was always pursued, so if they hadn't, I may still be alone. Just a thought.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. Silently Honest

    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Threads:
    97
    Messages:
    5,464
    Likes Received:
    141
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    YANG
    *reads last name on hit list*


    You should look into buying more cats.

    *cocks gun*
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  14. Bored Now

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Threads:
    14
    Messages:
    1,773
    Likes Received:
    151
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    *blows kiss*
    I wouldn't mind ending up alone. Is that weird? I'm really happily in love and its pretty much been smooth sailing.. but I just can't see putting all this time and effort into another person. Like if something happens to us... Ill just become a domme and keep houseboys or something. I don't want to be bothered to give my heart and soul to anyone else, it's exhausting. At least the way I do it, it is. Besides, I doubt I'll find anyone worthy of the honor. I have strange and inflexible standards.

    I will not be giving up sex though. Seriously. That's just CRAZY talk.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. OP
    the

    the Si master race.
    Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Threads:
    479
    Messages:
    14,392
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,780
    Trophy Points:
    1,112
    MBTI:
    ISTJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    fascinating answers everyone. Thanks!
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. CoffeeShopDiva

    CoffeeShopDiva Community Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2009
    Threads:
    24
    Messages:
    523
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I would like to get married still. And as much as dating really frustrates me and tries to beat me down, I think I will always secretly hope to find the right person to love.

    And its not because I am adverse to living a quiet life with some cats, but that I can't imagine doing it without someone special there with me.

    So, until then, I try and keep my head high no matter how loud the clock is ticking in my ear.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  17. Dutch Cake

    Dutch Cake Community Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2009
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    751
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I think one reason I want to be alone is breaking up is so hard on me. I am sick and unable to do anything. I seem to require a full week in bed everytime I break up with some one. I have no energy and I am just physically sick. I know it is stress because I have talked about it with my doctor, but I just can't do it much longer. Being alone is simpler and less exhausting over all. But I agree with Nicky I just don't want to give up sex.
     
  18. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    743
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    577
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    at the core i know i long for a fulfilling relationship, however i believe it may be untenable as past relationships have proved thus far. it is difficult to find someone who would commit and communicate on a deeper level. i'm not yet twenty, but i'm quite grounded on the belief that single life would be appealing for me in the future.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. Motor Jax

    Motor Jax randomness included
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    1,830
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    109
    Trophy Points:
    621
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    Random
    i have been thinking about this question for the past 2 days now...

    i have been twice divorced, always wanting that happiness of togetherness with a family of my own... but it eludes me, leading to this self-cynical phase i am going through... a bitterness about my past relationships has ensued...

    but on the flip side of that coin, i am much more relaxed than feeling like someone is always looking over my shoulder or always "checking up on me", causing undue stress for me...

    i am an introvert, i love my peace and quite, my solitude that is my blessing...

    i live by love, and i see love in places that i go... but to find love for myself, that has proven to be unachievable at this point thus far...

    likewise... the women where i am now living outnumber the men, at least 2:1...
    and there are still the 'Closing Time Specials' you can pick up at your local bar...

    mom and i have had this discussion before... she is pessimistic (very) about finding a love to take care of her... she is very cynical about men in her lifetime...
    and i have told her that i can see love out there, i know it is there... just unobtainable for me, it seems... i just haven't grasped it yet...


    there are pros and cons... but i love the freedom to do whatever, whenever, and with whoever...

    so yea, alone ftw...
     
  20. Tutti Frutti

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2009
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    I find it hard being with someone, although I'm only 16 and can't really say much yet, unless they're really ready to be devoted to me. That's what I want, and in this world, that's gonna be a hard thing to find. I'm a person who considers others and will be respectful and utterly devoted to my partner, and I need to feel as though they too are putting in 100%. 100 effing per cent. Nothing less. If not, it won't work.
     
Loading...

Share This Page