Emotional Connection | INFJ Forum

Emotional Connection

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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Here are some quotes from a website which i found. What do you think - agree or disagree? Discuss.

Kelly Morris
http://www.helium.com/items/383732-what-is-an-emotional-connection

Communication is the key to being emotionally connected with another person. You can't be emotionally connected to someone if you can't talk to them.

Theresa Wind
http://www.helium.com/items/999763-what-is-an-emotional-connection

Your emotional soul mate is someone who was born to know you and understand you. They know how your heart and mind work, and they are in tune to your emotions even when you are thousands of miles apart. Being emotionally connected to someone means that your hearts are connected in the most basic way and on a deep level.

C. Li
http://www.helium.com/items/451404-what-is-an-emotional-connection
An emotional connection you say? My fingers are getting itchy just thinking about this subject. Yes, I have had many emotional connections over the past few years, and being the nice guy I am I think I am almost an expert in this area. Some people don't believe in this, but I believe that emotional connections can often times be felt upon meeting another person- immediately. I have had emotional connections with other women within 30 seconds of meeting them. Does this mean I was in love with them or that I thought they were "the one?" Of course not, but I was able to be at ease within seconds of meeting this certain kind of person due to many reasons: physical attraction, friendly and open body language (ie.-smiling, eye contact, arms not crossed), chemistry (beyond physical, can sometimes be described as spiritual connection, even biological as far as pure sexual drive [not just looks]), have similar values or viewpoints, and have an intellectual connection. These kind of things I feel immediately and I attribute them to my being a very sensitive individual as well as being a deep and introspective individual.
 
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Communication is the key to being emotionally connected with another person. You can't be emotionally connected to someone if you can't talk to them.

False, talking is not the only means of communication. If you change talk to communicate then I believe it is true.

Your emotional soul mate is someone who was born to know you and understand you. They know how your heart and mind work, and they are in tune to your emotions even when you are thousands of miles apart.
Being emotionally connected to someone means that your hearts are connected in the most basic way and on a deep level.

I personally don't believe in soul mates, although I do believe you can form a VERY strong link with someone that has potential to communicate through unknown methods.

An emotional connection you say? My fingers are getting itchy just thinking about this subject. Yes, I have had many emotional connections over the past few years, and being the nice guy I am I think I am almost an expert in this area. Some people don't believe in this, but I believe that emotional connections can often times be felt upon meeting another person- immediately. I have had emotional connections with other women within 30 seconds of meeting them. Does this mean I was in love with them or that I thought they were "the one?" Of course not, but I was able to be at ease within seconds of meeting this certain kind of person due to many reasons: physical attraction, friendly and open body language (ie.-smiling, eye contact, arms not crossed), chemistry (beyond physical, can sometimes be described as spiritual connection, even biological as far as pure sexual drive [not just looks]), have similar values or viewpoints, and have an intellectual connection. These kind of things I feel immediately and I attribute them to my being a very sensitive individual as well as being a deep and introspective individual.

I believe you can meet someone, and what they communicate may be something that meets your expectations and you also meet theirs, I would attribute that more to a statistical coincidence rather than fate, although my opinion on this has been known to change. Emotions can completely overrule logic to a crazy level. You can be completely biased and blinded by many things in life when you are in love. I also believe you can meet people that are on your "wavelength" but I don't think there is only one person in the world that is that way.



Going off on a tangent here, but I don't believe that any two people are "perfect" for each other. Perhaps I simply misunderstand the concept of true love. I personally don't believe that pefection has any right to be in the same sentence as human. Humans are flawed by nature, we have to constantly strive in life to become better. We define ourselves through struggle, and to think that you will meet someone and you will live happily ever after is unrealistic. This isn't to say you can't love them unconditionally and they love you the same, but there is going to be conflict, and at some point in life they aren't going to be your favorite person, it happens. I personally believe a lot of relationships/marriages fail because people are either unwilling to admit or accept this.
 
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I agree with the first one, most definitely. This is the key to intimacy.
The second two I do not agree with.
 
On the second point (that I agree with and have experienced this with three people) I would call it a "soul friend." Mate makes it sound too singular. These were very unique friendships and they were all with lady friends of mine.
 
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I have met quite a lot of people who believe in #3, based on their experience.

The same also with me.
The difference is, they told me the feeling is reciprocal (like #2) but in my experience, I could feel this person's vibe/history etc but he could not see through me. My strongest impression though is the guy had some burdens/emotional baggage that was blocking quite a lot...

I remember feeling very, unusually comfortable when I first met him
Like I already knew him, he seemed familiar
I want to go as far to say he was a lover in a past life (LOL).

This happened also with a much older woman in one of my classes. She also had a lot of blockage

I think if they didn't have it, we would become good friends
But I'm not complaining :smile:
 
Communication is key, but it does not create the types of mental connection I seek all the time. At times it is just a mere mental connection and nothing more.

The second one is the one I am looking for always in my heart, but I fear it does not exist or won't happen for me.

The third one seems to be the most practical and happens a lot to INFJs in general. We can always make good rapport and mental connection with other types, but I noticed that just because making a mental connection does not necessarily means that they understand the heart and soul of an INFJ and they usually can't give us what we need.
 
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The second one is the one I am looking for always in my heart, but I fear it does not exist or won't happen for me.
I wonder this, too. That's the odd thing about really experiencing a soul connection with another person...once one feels this it kinda redefines how we might like a romantic relationship to feel. At least it did for me. That said, I can't believe that such conections are all that rare, but they don't happen every day either.

The three times I have had this kind of connection (maybe four) there was either no possibility of a romantic relationship. The ladies were married or on a very different trajectory for their lives. Bummer. On the upside it gave me hope that such a wonderful, comfortable relationship was possible to be part of. On the downside it has had me spending the past 15 years looking for a connection that was equally meaningful. In the end I guess I'd rather wait and have something that I feel is real.

Oh, and don't let the 15 years scare you...at my age there just aren't that many single people around. :)
 
I wonder this, too. That's the odd thing about really experiencing a soul connection with another person...once one feels this it kinda redefines how we might like a romantic relationship to feel. At least it did for me. That said, I can't believe that such conections are all that rare, but they don't happen every day either.

The three times I have had this kind of connection (maybe four) there was either no possibility of a romantic relationship. The ladies were married or on a very different trajectory for their lives. Bummer. On the upside it gave me hope that such a wonderful, comfortable relationship was possible to be part of. On the downside it has had me spending the past 15 years looking for a connection that was equally meaningful. In the end I guess I'd rather wait and have something that I feel is real.

Oh, and don't let the 15 years scare you...at my age there just aren't that many single people around. :)
Im sorry you had to wait that long and maybe even still waiting for that connection...does it ever make you want to settle?....
 
Communication is key, but it does not create the types of mental connection I seek all the time. At times it is just a mere mental connection and nothing more.

The second one is the one I am looking for always in my heart, but I fear it does not exist or won't happen for me.

The third one seems to be the most practical and happens a lot to INFJs in general. We can always make good rapport and mental connection with other types, but I noticed that just because making a mental connection does not necessarily means that they understand the heart and soul of an INFJ and they usually can't give us what we need.

I find that the second one is very idealistic for two reasons: One being that you have a soul mate that will understand you in every way, even though most people don't completely understand themselves and also two it can give off the impression that you 'deserve' someone and will find him/her at some point or another. I think it is far more emotional to see someone trying to understand you in general, especially if they are coming for a radically different viewpoint.

Other than that, I agree with the first one if you change "talking" to just communication. The third one is fairly believable as well.
 
I find that the second one is very idealistic for two reasons: One being that you have a soul mate that will understand you in every way, even though most people don't completely understand themselves and also two it can give off the impression that you 'deserve' someone and will find him/her at some point or another.
A good point....I think it would be easy to overidealize this. In the situations I have been in it was just a relationship that seemed to work without a lot off effort and angst due to some deep connection or resonance or appreciation between us. This just made things earier and fun. I have also been in relationships where this wasn't the case....they did not go very far. Some were disasterous.

With the soul friend it actually may have been less about an emotional connection (even though there was one) but many connections, including a basic willingness/ability to see value, worth, beauty in the other. It was tremendously comforting thing to experience.
 
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No.

An emotional connection develops over time [for me personally] and usually develops over stressing events and fights. Thick and thin, you know?
 
i think this really depends on the person or persons involved. To say it's not possible to have an instant or immediate connection with someone is to define someone else's relationship by our own standards or understanding of connection and committment. i may be able to make a connection or create an emotional bond with someone fairly quickly without any long term investment or committment. With someone else, it make take months or years to form a close bond. There are quite a number of people who meet and instantly they are friends . . . for life, no questions asked. So, to say it's impossible or improbable is a bit restrictive. Simply because it doesn't happen for some, doesn't mean it won't happen for another.
 
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The three times I have had this kind of connection (maybe four) there was either no possibility of a romantic relationship. The ladies were married or on a very different trajectory for their lives. Bummer.

yep, the persons who i have a somewhat real connection with are unavailable; and it's difficult because i feel known and understood by them without effort or explanation. One look and i know they see me or get things about me others don't. And it's addictive. it's tough when that feeling is not reciprocated.
 
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The third one seems to be the most practical and happens a lot to INFJs in general. We can always make good rapport and mental connection with other types, but I noticed that just because making a mental connection does not necessarily means that they understand the heart and soul of an INFJ and they usually can't give us what we need.

this is true in my experience