Emotional Connection | INFJ Forum

Emotional Connection

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Jan 14, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Here are some quotes from a website which i found. What do you think - agree or disagree? Discuss.

    Kelly Morris
    http://www.helium.com/items/383732-what-is-an-emotional-connection

    Theresa Wind
    http://www.helium.com/items/999763-what-is-an-emotional-connection

    C. Li
    http://www.helium.com/items/451404-what-is-an-emotional-connection
     
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    #1 Gaze, Jan 14, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2010
  2. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    False, talking is not the only means of communication. If you change talk to communicate then I believe it is true.

    I personally don't believe in soul mates, although I do believe you can form a VERY strong link with someone that has potential to communicate through unknown methods.

    I believe you can meet someone, and what they communicate may be something that meets your expectations and you also meet theirs, I would attribute that more to a statistical coincidence rather than fate, although my opinion on this has been known to change. Emotions can completely overrule logic to a crazy level. You can be completely biased and blinded by many things in life when you are in love. I also believe you can meet people that are on your "wavelength" but I don't think there is only one person in the world that is that way.



    Going off on a tangent here, but I don't believe that any two people are "perfect" for each other. Perhaps I simply misunderstand the concept of true love. I personally don't believe that pefection has any right to be in the same sentence as human. Humans are flawed by nature, we have to constantly strive in life to become better. We define ourselves through struggle, and to think that you will meet someone and you will live happily ever after is unrealistic. This isn't to say you can't love them unconditionally and they love you the same, but there is going to be conflict, and at some point in life they aren't going to be your favorite person, it happens. I personally believe a lot of relationships/marriages fail because people are either unwilling to admit or accept this.
     
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    #2 NeverAmI, Jan 14, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2010
  3. GaiaGraha

    GaiaGraha Community Member

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    I agree with the first one, most definitely. This is the key to intimacy.
    The second two I do not agree with.
     
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  4. OP
    Gaze

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    Could you explain?
     
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  5. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    On the second point (that I agree with and have experienced this with three people) I would call it a "soul friend." Mate makes it sound too singular. These were very unique friendships and they were all with lady friends of mine.
     
    #5 randomsomeone, Jan 14, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2010
  6. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    I have met quite a lot of people who believe in #3, based on their experience.

    The same also with me.
    The difference is, they told me the feeling is reciprocal (like #2) but in my experience, I could feel this person's vibe/history etc but he could not see through me. My strongest impression though is the guy had some burdens/emotional baggage that was blocking quite a lot...

    I remember feeling very, unusually comfortable when I first met him
    Like I already knew him, he seemed familiar
    I want to go as far to say he was a lover in a past life (LOL).

    This happened also with a much older woman in one of my classes. She also had a lot of blockage

    I think if they didn't have it, we would become good friends
    But I'm not complaining :smile:
     
  7. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

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    Communication is key, but it does not create the types of mental connection I seek all the time. At times it is just a mere mental connection and nothing more.

    The second one is the one I am looking for always in my heart, but I fear it does not exist or won't happen for me.

    The third one seems to be the most practical and happens a lot to INFJs in general. We can always make good rapport and mental connection with other types, but I noticed that just because making a mental connection does not necessarily means that they understand the heart and soul of an INFJ and they usually can't give us what we need.
     
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    #7 Solongo, Jan 14, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2010
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  8. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I wonder this, too. That's the odd thing about really experiencing a soul connection with another person...once one feels this it kinda redefines how we might like a romantic relationship to feel. At least it did for me. That said, I can't believe that such conections are all that rare, but they don't happen every day either.

    The three times I have had this kind of connection (maybe four) there was either no possibility of a romantic relationship. The ladies were married or on a very different trajectory for their lives. Bummer. On the upside it gave me hope that such a wonderful, comfortable relationship was possible to be part of. On the downside it has had me spending the past 15 years looking for a connection that was equally meaningful. In the end I guess I'd rather wait and have something that I feel is real.

    Oh, and don't let the 15 years scare you...at my age there just aren't that many single people around. :)
     
  9. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

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    Im sorry you had to wait that long and maybe even still waiting for that connection...does it ever make you want to settle?....
     
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  10. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I find that the second one is very idealistic for two reasons: One being that you have a soul mate that will understand you in every way, even though most people don't completely understand themselves and also two it can give off the impression that you 'deserve' someone and will find him/her at some point or another. I think it is far more emotional to see someone trying to understand you in general, especially if they are coming for a radically different viewpoint.

    Other than that, I agree with the first one if you change "talking" to just communication. The third one is fairly believable as well.
     
  11. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I watch people settle all the time...it's really not for me.
     
  12. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    A good point....I think it would be easy to overidealize this. In the situations I have been in it was just a relationship that seemed to work without a lot off effort and angst due to some deep connection or resonance or appreciation between us. This just made things earier and fun. I have also been in relationships where this wasn't the case....they did not go very far. Some were disasterous.

    With the soul friend it actually may have been less about an emotional connection (even though there was one) but many connections, including a basic willingness/ability to see value, worth, beauty in the other. It was tremendously comforting thing to experience.
     
    #12 randomsomeone, Jan 15, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2010
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  13. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    No.

    An emotional connection develops over time [for me personally] and usually develops over stressing events and fights. Thick and thin, you know?
     
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    Gaze

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    i think this really depends on the person or persons involved. To say it's not possible to have an instant or immediate connection with someone is to define someone else's relationship by our own standards or understanding of connection and committment. i may be able to make a connection or create an emotional bond with someone fairly quickly without any long term investment or committment. With someone else, it make take months or years to form a close bond. There are quite a number of people who meet and instantly they are friends . . . for life, no questions asked. So, to say it's impossible or improbable is a bit restrictive. Simply because it doesn't happen for some, doesn't mean it won't happen for another.
     
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    #14 Gaze, Jan 26, 2010
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  15. OP
    Gaze

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    yep, the persons who i have a somewhat real connection with are unavailable; and it's difficult because i feel known and understood by them without effort or explanation. One look and i know they see me or get things about me others don't. And it's addictive. it's tough when that feeling is not reciprocated.
     
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    #15 Gaze, Oct 26, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2010
  16. Claridon

    Claridon Community Member

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    this is true in my experience
     
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