Emotional Connection

False, talking is not the only means of communication. If you change talk to communicate then I believe it is true.

I personally don't believe in soul mates, although I do believe you can form a VERY strong link with someone that has potential to communicate through unknown methods.

I believe you can meet someone, and what they communicate may be something that meets your expectations and you also meet theirs, I would attribute that more to a statistical coincidence rather than fate, although my opinion on this has been known to change. Emotions can completely overrule logic to a crazy level. You can be completely biased and blinded by many things in life when you are in love. I also believe you can meet people that are on your "wavelength" but I don't think there is only one person in the world that is that way.



Going off on a tangent here, but I don't believe that any two people are "perfect" for each other. Perhaps I simply misunderstand the concept of true love. I personally don't believe that pefection has any right to be in the same sentence as human. Humans are flawed by nature, we have to constantly strive in life to become better. We define ourselves through struggle, and to think that you will meet someone and you will live happily ever after is unrealistic. This isn't to say you can't love them unconditionally and they love you the same, but there is going to be conflict, and at some point in life they aren't going to be your favorite person, it happens. I personally believe a lot of relationships/marriages fail because people are either unwilling to admit or accept this.

 

I agree with the first one, most definitely. This is the key to intimacy.
The second two I do not agree with.

 

On the second point (that I agree with and have experienced this with three people) I would call it a "soul friend." Mate makes it sound too singular. These were very unique friendships and they were all with lady friends of mine.

 

I have met quite a lot of people who believe in #3, based on their experience.

The same also with me.
The difference is, they told me the feeling is reciprocal (like #2) but in my experience, I could feel this person's vibe/history etc but he could not see through me. My strongest impression though is the guy had some burdens/emotional baggage that was blocking quite a lot...

I remember feeling very, unusually comfortable when I first met him
Like I already knew him, he seemed familiar
I want to go as far to say he was a lover in a past life (LOL).

This happened also with a much older woman in one of my classes. She also had a lot of blockage

I think if they didn't have it, we would become good friends
But I'm not complaining

 

Communication is key, but it does not create the types of mental connection I seek all the time. At times it is just a mere mental connection and nothing more.

The second one is the one I am looking for always in my heart, but I fear it does not exist or won't happen for me.

The third one seems to be the most practical and happens a lot to INFJs in general. We can always make good rapport and mental connection with other types, but I noticed that just because making a mental connection does not necessarily means that they understand the heart and soul of an INFJ and they usually can't give us what we need.

 

I wonder this, too. That's the odd thing about really experiencing a soul connection with another person...once one feels this it kinda redefines how we might like a romantic relationship to feel. At least it did for me. That said, I can't believe that such conections are all that rare, but they don't happen every day either.

The three times I have had this kind of connection (maybe four) there was either no possibility of a romantic relationship. The ladies were married or on a very different trajectory for their lives. Bummer. On the upside it gave me hope that such a wonderful, comfortable relationship was possible to be part of. On the downside it has had me spending the past 15 years looking for a connection that was equally meaningful. In the end I guess I'd rather wait and have something that I feel is real.

Oh, and don't let the 15 years scare you...at my age there just aren't that many single people around.

 

Im sorry you had to wait that long and maybe even still waiting for that connection...does it ever make you want to settle?....

 

I find that the second one is very idealistic for two reasons: One being that you have a soul mate that will understand you in every way, even though most people don't completely understand themselves and also two it can give off the impression that you 'deserve' someone and will find him/her at some point or another. I think it is far more emotional to see someone trying to understand you in general, especially if they are coming for a radically different viewpoint.

Other than that, I agree with the first one if you change "talking" to just communication. The third one is fairly believable as well.

 

I watch people settle all the time...it's really not for me.

 

A good point....I think it would be easy to overidealize this. In the situations I have been in it was just a relationship that seemed to work without a lot off effort and angst due to some deep connection or resonance or appreciation between us. This just made things earier and fun. I have also been in relationships where this wasn't the case....they did not go very far. Some were disasterous.

With the soul friend it actually may have been less about an emotional connection (even though there was one) but many connections, including a basic willingness/ability to see value, worth, beauty in the other. It was tremendously comforting thing to experience.

 

No.

An emotional connection develops over time [for me personally] and usually develops over stressing events and fights. Thick and thin, you know?

 

this is true in my experience