Easily manipulated? | INFJ Forum

Easily manipulated?

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Gaze

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So, are you easily manipulated? If so, how?

Is there a history of betrayal, mistrust, abuse which lead to this? or was it something else?

For those who've recovered from this, how did you come to recognize, learn from it, and heal?

How does someone avoid being easily manipulated?
 
This is a great question. I need to think about it. My knee jerk reaction is that I am not. I need to reflect on this.

Great Question

I think that there are times when you look at the dictionary you could see my avatar next to the word gullible

On the other hand I think I do have my own mind. I dont automatically do what others want. I am getting better at this. I have been called cynical.

I think that there is a huge qualifier of "It depends..." LOL

Great quesiton
 
Well this is uncomfortable. Once I let someone into my little world I believe anything that he/she says. There might be a twinge of mistrust, but I can block it out. Of course whenever I block it out it bites me in the ass. There's a fine line I have to walk everyday, and once I figure out how to explain it I'll get back to this thought.
 
I let myself be manipulated...but only to a point. I can almost always see the games being played and, assuming it's all harmless, I play along. I like being a "yes" person. However, if harm is intended or if I am being taken advantage of beyond what I think is fair (a semi-permeable boundary) then my stubborness kicks in.

I am the proud recipient of two "smiley face sucker awards" here at work for getting suckered into going "above and beyond." We can all laugh at it because deep down we all know I did it by choice. I'm not as dumb as I look!!!
 
randomsomeone said:
I let myself be manipulated...but only to a point. I can almost always see the games being played and, assuming it's all harmless, I play along. I like being a "yes" person. However, if harm is intended or if I am being taken advantage of beyond what I think is fair (a semi-permeable boundary) then my stubborness kicks in.
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I think I'm in agreement with randomsomeone. This sounds like myself a bit. :)
 
Nope. I don't trust people enough to allow it.
 
Restraint said:
So, are you easily manipulated? If so, how?

Is there a history of betrayal, mistrust, abuse which lead to this? or was it something else?

For those who've recovered from this, how did you come to recognize, learn from it, and heal?

How does someone avoid being easily manipulated?
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Not anymore. I can usually see right through it. But I've also had issues with this before and thats why I think recognize it.
 
Blind Bandit said:
Not anymore. I can usually see right through it. But I've also had issues with this before and thats why I think recognize it.
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You can see right through it and still fall for it believe or not. It depends on what you need or feel you're getting out of the relationship, which may affect someone's decision to live with it.
 
I can usually pick up bullshit fairly easily. I'm not a good mood lately because I feel like there are people trying to pull my strings again. I don't trust anyone...
 
yes, I am but only because I let myself be, I can pick it up quite easily, I'm just to ''nice'' and too much of a ''people-pleaser'', conflict-avoider to do anything about it. this has let to abuse by many people and me not trusting many, so even though I help, since I notice this action by many I am sort of avoidant and scared of any interaction.
 
Raccoon Love said:
yes, I am but only because I let myself be, I can pick it up quite easily, I'm just to ''nice'' and too much of a ''people-pleaser'', conflict-avoider to do anything about it. this has let to abuse by many people and me not trusting many, so even though I help, since I notice this action by many I am sort of avoidant and scared of any interaction.
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Yes, this is often the case with many who are aware of it.
 
nope... will not be controlled or manipulated in any way. it's been that way since i was very young. i don't know why, i just have always trusted my own instincts over any outside influences.
 
I can be manipulated

Especially when I was younger and people who I trusted hurted me. They can do that by saying that I did something terrible wrong, that I'm not good enough the way I am, that something is wrong with me, that if I continue like this, I will not make any friends, stuff like that. I get really confused. It gives me the feeling that all my life I have been believing that I'm ok and all the sudden I wake up and see that the whole world thinks I'm wrong. I know that this is not the case but when comming from someone for whom I have let down the barrier, I tend to believe it. And than I change myself in "who they want me to be". So I'm manipulative when I don't trust myself anymore.

But I'm only manipulative on an emotional level. I have never done anything serious. When they drive me to the point that I have to break my moral or ethic beliefs, they break the curse :becky:

great question actually, I never thought of it before !!
 
Morgan said:
I can be manipulated

Especially when I was younger and people who I trusted hurted me. They can do that by saying that I did something terrible wrong, that I'm not good enough the way I am, that something is wrong with me, that if I continue like this, I will not make any friends, stuff like that. I get really confused. It gives me the feeling that all my life I have been believing that I'm ok and all the sudden I wake up and see that the whole world thinks I'm wrong. I know that this is not the case but when comming from someone for whom I have let down the barrier, I tend to believe it. And than I change myself in "who they want me to be". So I'm manipulative when I don't trust myself anymore.
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Yeah, it's probably more common that most think.
 
So, are you easily manipulated? If so, how? I think I am...or was...maybe I still am...

Is there a history of betrayal, mistrust, abuse which lead to this? or was it something else? History...many historical events

For those who've recovered from this, how did you come to recognize, learn from it, and heal? errr...recovery...does that happen? If it does Im still working on it. How did I recognize it?....uhm...I dont know just kinda came to me slowly...Im kinda slow sometimes.

How does someone avoid being easily manipulated?....I think we attract manipulators...so I dont know
 
Entyqua said:
How does someone avoid being easily manipulated?....I think we attract manipulators...so I dont know
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Not sure if this is applies to all INFJs, but that seems to be the case in my experience.
 
Restraint said:
Not sure if this is applies to all INFJs, but that seems to be the case in my experience.
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mine as well, and others I have met in person.
 
I've been manipulated before... and the crazy thing is, 90% (Ni) I knew when it was happening but I chose to let it happen. I had no one to blame but myself.

I think people assume I would be easy to manipulate because I'm nice and I like to help out. For some reason, that seems to correspond to the term "doormat" in people's minds. And maybe it's true. Woot, go poor self-esteem/not giving a damn to stand up for myself.

But sometimes, its fun to lay low and turn the tables at the last minute and pull that same doormat right from underneath them. Especially if the person has amazingly selfish reasons for their manipulative behaviour. :)
 
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TheDaringHatTrick said:
I've been manipulated before... and the crazy thing is, 90% (Ni) I knew when it was happening but I chose to let it happen. I had no one to blame but myself.

I think people assume I would be easy to manipulate because I'm nice and I like to help out. For some reason, that seems to correspond to the term "doormat" in people's minds. And maybe it's true. Woot, go poor self-esteem/not giving a damn to stand up for myself.
:)
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Yeah, same here.
 
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