don't they feel it too? | INFJ Forum

don't they feel it too?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by soulseeker, Dec 29, 2009.

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  1. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    hello :) :)

    Well since most of us always feel alone........

    Do you think that we're just the ones who "feel" alone.. or is it more of like... we "feel" alone -- IN OUR OWN STANDARDS OF WHAT ALONE is

    I mean like... if we for example...imagine that we are somebody other than ourselves.. somebody very social and outgoing or whatever.. someone who has a lot of friends, somebody who is family oriented.. or whatever stuff that someone has... and we feel that that someone doesn't ever ever feel alone...
    if we become that someone and put our situation in their situation.. do you think we would still feel alone?

    what!?!?! i'm sorry i think that was confusing ahahhahahaha

    i'm going to try to explain it in words... ahahahha :) :) :) :) :) hihihihihi

    okay....
    because i sometimes think that.. maybe even more than half of the population feel alone.... maybe they also feel something missing in their lives..

    regardless of their personality types... i kind of think that all of us feel this aloneness.. i think that we kind of feel it more intensely than others do...

    did that make sense?????!?!?!? ahhaha i'm sorry if it doesn't :) :) :)
     
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  2. Raccoon Love

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    One thing is pretending to not be alone, another is actuall being alone, there's always a certain amount of time before we break into our reality. I do not want to change my personality just to gain more friendships, introversion has a lot of positives extroversion does not have. I think we mostly feel alonebecause of things such as social anxiety, lack of trust etc, it looks good in paper to act like somebody else but for someone who has been through such situations its very hard, I'm not sure if this is what your trying to mean, but I tried my best to answer the question lol.
     
  3. OP
    soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    ahahahhaaha i'm soo sorry if my question is weird ahahahhaha

    I'm contented with my personality type also and i wouldn't want to change it.. I'd rather develop it for my benefits than change it :) :)

    I'm trying to say that in reality, maybe what we "Feel" other people are (the people who look very happy, contented, etc..) also feel alone like us..

    I really have a hard time trying to express what I mean in words.. hihihi :) :)

    but it's open to different interpretations :) :) hihihihihi:m131:
     
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  4. Raccoon Love

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    Well yes anybody can feel alone, some people are more extroverted than others, and they might not be satisfied with having this massive amount of people, they might feel empty like they need more energy since E's get their energy from people.
     
  5. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    There might actualy be people who never feel alone. Not in the way we do. We feel alone most of the time, even when we are with people. A lot of people don't have that. A lot of people don't even introspect, think about there personality or try to change it. They just are and just do without very much thought...
     
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  6. Raccoon Love

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    Agreed, I find many people particularly don't care to find out about who they are, they can live happily just as they are. Us INXX types tend to reflect, introspect and analyze ourselves more than any other type, hence why you see this 4 types commonly online, and even so INFJ's..
     
  7. yumiii

    yumiii Community Member

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    I'm sorry, your prompt was rather confusing but let me try my best to respond.

    I think that we can feel alone due to numerous reasons however, I think one of the main ones would be because we empathize with other people's feelings of despair and loneliness so strongly and because we constantly desire to love and feel loved in return. And because most of us in here can't seem to find this seemingly slippery entity, thus we just become overcome with the feeling of loneliness.

    Even if you pretend that you're not alone [this would be pretending to be an extrovert, if I'm not mistaken?], by the end of the day, after all those people around you have dispersed, that feeling of loneliness that you have been trying to disperse will just crowd over you twice as strongly. I honestly think it would be a terrible idea if you pretend to be something that you're not. I mean, really? How long can you go on pretending before the truth slaps you in the face?
     
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  8. Afrelen

    Afrelen Community Member

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    I attribute the universal "alone" feeling that most people tend to feel to the fact that we aren't able to think anyone's thoughts but our own. That's a lonely realization and when I talk to people when they feel lonely that's usually what's going on in the back of their mind. It can be pretty isolating to realize that, no matter how intimate, how honest, and how often you are in someones company and they with you, you can never get close to anyone on that level.

    For INFJs, though, we often get "lonely" when we let our introversion take over for too long. It's kind of like when you go out for a run and when you stop to catch your breath there's that part of you that, once you've caught your breath, hungers to run no matter how tired you'll be. Even though you're withdrawing to recharge, you're still a human being who requires others. Such is the wisdom of the proverbs when they say:

    Iron sharpens iron,
    and one man sharpens another.
     
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  9. the

    the Si master race.
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    As a nonINFJ I just wanted to say that sometimes I feel lonely, but I never feel lonely as if I cannot go to someone for anything or anyplace; whenever for whatever. I am pretty likeable and popular in real life.
     
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  10. Afrelen

    Afrelen Community Member

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    But on the web everyone hates you? :m123:
    It's okay, I couldn't resist that one. I think you're likable on the web.
     
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  11. the

    the Si master race.
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    No I am not.
     
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  12. Afrelen

    Afrelen Community Member

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    But you have a cute horse in your avatar. You have to be likable if you have a cute horse in your avatar.
     
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  13. Raccoon Love

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    omg yes!!!uberrogo's avatar is extremely cute *:mcute:
     
  14. the

    the Si master race.
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    It is just to soften the blow because I am sometimes to harsh and cruel online. Plus in real like I am adorable so it is a fitting avatar for me.
     
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  15. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    But INFJ's have an other sort of lonelyness. It is not only just the fact of being alone. It is also the fact that even when you have a lot of friends to go to you will never be able to really connect to them. Be as one. It is being alone amongst friends. Only when you are very lucky and find a soulmate...

    yes, unless we feel a deep connection with someone
     
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    #15 Morgain, Dec 29, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2009
  16. the

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    Yes, I do not experience that. I connect with many of my friends on a deep level and have several shallow level aquaintences. Plus I never worry that I wont connect and all that jazz. So yeah, not a problem for me.
     
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  17. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Quick answer: No.
    Not everyone, some do to different degrees, but I don't think many people are aware or have defined in it in this way.

    This came out as I began writing. I'm not sure what to make of it, it turned into something else.. I guess it's one way of describing it..

    So let's say that our consciousness (mind, soul, spirit, however you refer to that something that allows you to think, feel, have free will and direct yourself through life - i.e. as far as we can tell, we're not a toy that's remote-controlled, so it appears as though we can choose). However, we are stuck in a physical body. It's like being the driver in a car, with the doors locked in the car and you know you're in there and you can stay parked or you can keep driving, whatever you choose. And you can drive on isolated roads where you're driving by yourself or you can pack yourself into a four-lane highway, but wherever you happen to be, you're very much aware of the boundary between you and all the other cars. Sometimes it feels more painful when you are on a busy street because your senses allow you to discern that you are not in fact by yourself, and yet you are locked in this vehicle by yourself. You can communicate with the drivers in the other cars through physical contact, flashing lights, sounds, and forms of expression through your physical senses, but you can't ever fully integrate with them. You acutely sense the space, borders, and separation between you and the other drivers in the other cars - not everyone does. Why this difference, I'm not sure. If you are fully merged with the material of your car (ex. your consciousness resides in the driver's door, and not beside it), then perhaps that is the closest you will come to fully integrating with someone else because you feel less confined - you've become one with the border. You no longer feel the pain of the space that separates you from your border. However, that pain also primarily comes from wanting to connect with the other cars. If you are able to occupy yourself with the gimmicks and controls in your car, perhaps you won't have the same desire to merge with the other cars.

    This next part does not lend itself to some beliefs, but perhaps the reason you wish to merge with the other cars is because on some level you recall a time when you were standing on a lot with others, before you entered the car. At the time, you were able to *just be*. It's an accepting state. Now, you are in your car and something just doesn't feel right. You might be driving along with or without a map, your car might break down, you might encounter rude drivers on the road, weather issues, and the whole time you might feel like you are driving on a conveyor belt, because you're really not sure why you're driving in the first place. Some drivers might occupy themselves with the gimmicks of the car, others with trying to understand how this great machine works, some others are determined to follow the map, some will stop along the way and gaze at the beautiful scenery around them unperplexed by it all, others will drive into a ditch, a few might stop driving because they can't see what's around the curve, etc.

    But no, not everyone senses it. I don't know how/why everyone doesn't feel that acute state of separation.
     
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  18. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    wauw Soulful, that is exactly how I see life (except for the cars maybe :becky:)
     
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  19. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    Soulful, me too. It does feel like a state of separation.
     
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  20. OP
    soulseeker

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    wow!!hihihi :) that was like a super deep reflection...it's like you entered in a trance:)
    .from all of the posts here...maybe now i understand that there are people who really feel it and others who don't
    i dont get why is it like that:( why do we have to get hurt like this
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
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