Do you want peace or drama? | INFJ Forum

Do you want peace or drama?

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AUM

The Romantic Scientist
Feb 8, 2009
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Inspired by Phoenix Down's thread about drama, I was instantly reminded of a passage in a book I read some time ago. I won't put the name of the author here, because people are usually quick to negatively judge the content of a passage with the person who wrote it. If you're interested in knowing who the author and what the name of the book is, you can PM me for it.

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"Do you want peace or drama?"

You want peace. There is no one who does not want peace. Yet there is something else in you that wants the drama, wants the conflict. You may not be able to feel it at this moment. You may have to wait for the situation or even just a thought that triggers a reaction in you: someone accusing you of this or that, not acknowledging you, encroaching on your territory, questioning the way you do things, an argument about money...Can you feel the enormous surge of force moving through you, the fear, perhaps being masked by anger or hostility? Can you hear your own voice becoming harsh or shrill, or louder and a few octaves lower? Can you be aware of your mind racing to defend its position, justify, attack blame? Can you feel that there is something in you that is at war, something that feels threatened and wants to survive at all costs, that needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production? Can you feel there is something in you that would rather be right than at peace?

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Just some food for thought
 
I don't want drama, it is in me and I am working at changing these habits. I strive for peace.
 
I love unnecessary conflict! I always do my best to start all the drama I can by trying to be as hurtful as I can and being the less honest possible.
Stress, hate, lies, so much better than happiness, peace of mind and rainbows!
 
[MENTION=2827]Phoenix Down[/MENTION]: You want to know how I disarm drama? See the poster above? Well, if you ignore his post completely I bet he won't be interested and stop posting here because after all, why would he write that sarcastic comment on the first place if it wasn't to get attention?

However, since I'm referring to him, he would probably think of a witty and smart counterattack to defend himself from what I'm saying. Or he may go to the other extreme and not post at all just to prove I'm wrong.

Now the question becomes: what would [MENTION=3072]Royal[/MENTION] do? Would he post again to counter my argument, or will he not post at all in order to prove me wrong? Hmmm....
 
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You can't have one without the other, so, both.

I cant hold back the drama once triggered, but ultimately, I always hope it ends with peace.
 
Seeker of Truth said:
Inspired by Phoenix Down's thread about drama, I was instantly reminded of a passage in a book I read some time ago.

<snip>

"Do you want peace or drama?"

You want peace. There is no one who does not want peace. Yet there is something else in you that wants the drama, wants the conflict.

<snip>
Click to expand...

This is so true. I'm not the sort of person who likes to stir up trouble but if you bring trouble to me I am the one to end it. I don't set out to be angry but some people know how to set me off. I get a high from anger. It is almost beyond description. I feel incredibly powerful, strong and my brain works at lightning speed. What is worse is that when I get suddenly angry, I terrify people and that just makes me feel even more powerful. I don't know if this is a learned response or not. My paternal relatives are all like that. Explosive. Where everyone else backs down, we feed on anger.

However, I've grown tired of it not because I'm ashamed which I know I should be. I'm tired of it because it's not what my life should be about so I deliberately choose peace. :sing: Give peace a chance :sing:

It's a good thing I'm not looking for any STR or LTR because I've totally killed my chances with this post. LOL.
 
AlienSpectator said:
This is so true. I'm not the sort of person who likes to stir up trouble but if you bring trouble to me I am the one to end it. I don't set out to be angry but some people know how to set me off. I get a high from anger. It is almost beyond description. I feel incredibly powerful, strong and my brain works at lightning speed. What is worse is that when I get suddenly angry, I terrify people and that just makes me feel even more powerful. I don't know if this is a learned response or not. My paternal relatives are all like that. Explosive. Where everyone else backs down, we feed on anger.

However, I've grown tired of it not because I'm ashamed which I know I should be. I'm tired of it because it's not what my life should be about so I deliberately choose peace. :sing: Give peace a chance :sing:

It's a good thing I'm not looking for any STR or LTR because I've totally killed my chances with this post. LOL.
Click to expand...

First paragraph described how I was perfectly. I was just talking to someone about this. I've changed my ways now.
 
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Seeker of Truth said:
Inspired by Phoenix Down's thread about drama, I was instantly reminded of a passage in a book I read some time ago. I won't put the name of the author here, because people are usually quick to negatively judge the content of a passage with the person who wrote it. If you're interested in knowing who the author and what the name of the book is, you can PM me for it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you want peace or drama?"

You want peace. There is no one who does not want peace. Yet there is something else in you that wants the drama, wants the conflict. You may not be able to feel it at this moment. You may have to wait for the situation or even just a thought that triggers a reaction in you: someone accusing you of this or that, not acknowledging you, encroaching on your territory, questioning the way you do things, an argument about money...Can you feel the enormous surge of force moving through you, the fear, perhaps being masked by anger or hostility? Can you hear your own voice becoming harsh or shrill, or louder and a few octaves lower? Can you be aware of your mind racing to defend its position, justify, attack blame? Can you feel that there is something in you that is at war, something that feels threatened and wants to survive at all costs, that needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production? Can you feel there is something in you that would rather be right than at peace?

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Just some food for thought
Click to expand...

There is something to it, and I know whose words are those.

I want peace, but I see the relevance of a drama. Seeing other's involved in drama can teach us about them, and when we are ourselves involved in drama we get to know a bit more about ourselves if only we are willing to look at ourselves a bit more and with a critical eye.

But I don't think that the ultimate goal should be drama or peace, but rather knowledge about ourselves and other, and you can't have it without peace broken by drama, and drama resolved into peace.
 
I'm not sure if it's a matter of wanting it but it's natural for people, as your quote says, to want to protect and defend themselves from attack.

Wanting drama is very different from egging it on, pushing for an argument or fight, and feeding off the energy of the adrenaline pumping as you get further and further in.

Sometimes, rather, drama is a means to end, a desire to set right an emotional or social wrong, to stand up for others or ourselves, to make a point that can't be made any other way. Sometimes, drama is ego, and sometimes, it is fuel to the fire because we like to go at it, and sometimes, it's the effect of situation out of control. I know these are all extremes, but drama is not always a "want"; sometimes, it's an inevitable need.
 
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Seeker of Truth said:
"Do you want peace or drama?"

You want peace. There is no one who does not want peace. Yet there is something else in you that wants the drama, wants the conflict. You may not be able to feel it at this moment. You may have to wait for the situation or even just a thought that triggers a reaction in you: someone accusing you of this or that, not acknowledging you, encroaching on your territory, questioning the way you do things, an argument about money...Can you feel the enormous surge of force moving through you, the fear, perhaps being masked by anger or hostility? Can you hear your own voice becoming harsh or shrill, or louder and a few octaves lower? Can you be aware of your mind racing to defend its position, justify, attack blame? Can you feel that there is something in you that is at war, something that feels threatened and wants to survive at all costs, that needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production? Can you feel there is something in you that would rather be right than at peace?
Click to expand...


to you I say
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.
Click to expand...
 
Phoenix Down said:
to you I say
Click to expand...

Sorry, but I failed English Literature for a reason, you know? I never understood a word of what Shakespeare said. Too much Ne for me :D

So, what exactly are you trying to say?
 
Seeker of Truth said:
@Phoenix Down: You want to know how I disarm drama? See the poster above? Well, if you ignore his post completely I bet he won't be interested and stop posting here because after all, why would he write that sarcastic comment on the first place if it wasn't to get attention?

However, since I'm referring to him, he would probably think of a witty and smart counterattack to defend himself from what I'm saying. Or he may go to the other extreme and not post at all just to prove I'm wrong.

Now the question becomes: what would @Royal do? Would he post again to counter my argument, or will he not post at all in order to prove me wrong? Hmmm....
Click to expand...

Neither, she may answer you :p

I wouldn't say there's a part of me that wants peace and another that wants drama.
Entertainment would be a better word.
I like drama, as selfish as it may seem, when it provides me fun.
When it gets all emotional and stuff, no.

I don't mind drama, but I definitely don't want it.
 
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Seeker of Truth said:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you want peace or drama?"

You want peace. There is no one who does not want peace. Yet there is something else in you that wants the drama, wants the conflict. You may not be able to feel it at this moment. You may have to wait for the situation or even just a thought that triggers a reaction in you: someone accusing you of this or that, not acknowledging you, encroaching on your territory, questioning the way you do things, an argument about money...Can you feel the enormous surge of force moving through you, the fear, perhaps being masked by anger or hostility? Can you hear your own voice becoming harsh or shrill, or louder and a few octaves lower? Can you be aware of your mind racing to defend its position, justify, attack blame? Can you feel that there is something in you that is at war, something that feels threatened and wants to survive at all costs, that needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production? Can you feel there is something in you that would rather be right than at peace?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Just some food for thought
Click to expand...
Survival =/= desire to be right =/= desire for drama.

In a certain way, I think it's a worthy goal to be right and survive without resorting to drama. On the other way, a certain degree of what people tend to simplify under the banner of 'drama' (indignation, self-defense, prickliness, self-pitying) is humane. Might not be acceptable, but humane. And well.

For eternal, non-changing peace is passiveness the way eternal, non-changing drama is..messy. And it's not about balance, as both 'peace' and 'drama' exists differently. One don't necessarily cancel the other. I would say even people in constant drama-filled situation had surely found their peace there.

However, I admit to liking to watch certain levels of drama while still keeping my peace. I guess in that sense I'm cruel.
 
Both. A part of me wants the world to be stripped down and burned so that those of us who arise from the ashes work together in true harmony with each other and the earth.

I'm such a hippie.
 
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