Do you sometimes fear random unexpected awkward situations?
- Thread starter Red Alex
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Is this question about intrusive thoughts and/or (possibly social) anxiety? Otherwise I'm not really sure of what you mean
Social anxiety I guess. Sometimes when I'm out in my hometown in a place with lots of people and/or traffic I start thinking about how I don't want to bump into some old acquaintance from primary/high school and find myself in an awkward small talk situation. I don't think about it 99,9% of the time and most of the time it wouldn't bother me if it happened. but the thought occurs sometimes, I guess it happens at times when I feel particularly vulnerable and/or introspective. I hope this helps you to understand the question.
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yes, like being invited last minute to a party or hosting people in my home unexpectedly. but i know enough that it is my own reaction I have to be aware of and reasons why i would feel ackward. but i believe situations like that; if you decide to take a different approach or change your reactions then the reasons for the ackwardness becomes more clear. such as fear of being judged or finding it hard to make small talk; but when you decide to change your reactions anyways; the results are usually very unexpected and surprising. It usually is not as bad as we imaged it to be and you become aware of your own neurosis.
I dislike surprises. As much as I have let go, it remains. Work to do.
i feel the same way. it just tells me that i am not spontaneous. yet i like spontaneous people; just not myself being spontaneous. then again i probably want to be spontaneous myself but i limit myself into thinkin i am not spontaneous; that it is not my natural self. so its a self prophecizing belief that will not change until i decide that i am spontaneous as other people if i wish to be.
do you mean like impromptu "tell me all about yourself!" conversations? those are especially uncomfortable :| i fear being stuck in social situations i can't get out of, but i equally fear others not reciprocating my interest when i engage them.
I fear small talk situations, like that awkward moment when you are left alone with someone and you really have nothing to say but you have to search for something to say to fill the silence lol. I seriously HATE it. I think I hide it well though, one time I mentioned that I'm not good at small talk and one of my friends was like "yes you are!" and I had to say that although I look ok with it my brain is going 100 miles a minute to ensure that I am not "awkward".
I don't trust surprises. I spend too much time than I'm willing to admit thinking of how to respond to people trying to query me. I want to be polite, but my nature is to be honest. I don't want things to be awkward, but that's exactly how people react to honest and direct communication.
What i do is, dis-continue the thought until something actually happens. Any image of a "random unexpected awkward situation" you have floating around in your head is unrealistic. Nothing has even happened at this point. If you continue with the thought process you will train yourself to feel this way. Ensuring your next encounter will be a "random unexpected awkward situation".
Next time try just letting the other person speak first and just follow along, if they aren't being very responsive then maybe THEY are whats awkward, not you. If you dont want to feel awkward then don't resonate with awkward things.
Next time try just letting the other person speak first and just follow along, if they aren't being very responsive then maybe THEY are whats awkward, not you. If you dont want to feel awkward then don't resonate with awkward things.
That's pretty much what I meant. Actually I was asking generally about awkward social situations, including that one, which is my own personal "favorite". Those "tell me about yourself" situations can really be a bitch when you don't feel like talking about yourself to someone who you haven't seen for years.
But who knows, the person standing opposite you in such situations may be feeling just about equally awkward.
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That's pretty much what I meant. Actually I was asking generally about awkward social situations, including that one, which is my own personal "favorite". Those "tell me about yourself" situations can really be a bitch when you don't feel like talking about yourself to someone who you haven't seen for years.
But who knows, the person standing opposite you in such situations may be feeling just about equally awkward.
When I'm in a situation where someone asks me about myself, but I don't feel like talking I give prompt answers.
"How are you? Good
What are you up to? The usual, work, play, other stuff
How's the family? Good"
It stops annoying questions relatively quickly.
We had a retirement party for one of our professors the other day. I noticed one instructor (music) who was off by himself in this room full of people chatting and having a good time. F*ing Fe kicked in and I went over to talk to him. I said "how can you tell the introvert in the room?" He looked at me. I said "they are standing by themselves by the door"...I got a smile from him. I tried to carry on a conversation. Asked him about his classes and if he knew our instructor who was leaving...all fell completely flat. I got tired of trying to drag conversation out of him and wandered away. The mofo followed me and I ended up again trying to have a decent conversation with him. It was awkward. I mean, I thought, well, maybe he doesn't want to talk...so I left. Then he follows me across the room? WTF???!!!
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It's kind of nice to get to a point where you just shrug it off. Because it really doesn't matter anyway. If I think I've done or said something awkward now I just say, "Oh well." I think if you worry about it it just prolongs the awkwardness. Let it dissipate.