Do you feel physically ill when around conflict?

[jgregulus]

Question from an INTJ to INFJ.

When your personality type encounters stress from the interactions around you, do you feel physically ill? For example, your group of friends is arguing, and you've already found out how to solve the argument, yet your group of friends keep arguing.

I've been teaching myself reiki over the past few years, and met with a master. I used reiki on an INFJ who was stressed out from conflict in a friends group. There was certainly a lot of back pain and tummy ache from the conflict.

So, I was curious if this is common with INFJ.

 

[sassafras]

To my knowledge, acute aches and ails and other physical manifestations of emotional distress would be typically more of a Fi-trait than a Ni or Fe-trait.

 

[Radiantshadow]

Ignore and see below "edit post-nap".

Yes, emotional turmoil gives me horrid migraines and, if it's particularly strong, nausea and weakness. Although, their emotions tend to rub off on me no matter what they are, with according side-effects. However, I also have some social anxiety so it may not be strictly type-related.

I would tentatively argue that Fe can give emotional kicks because it gravitates towards both fostering harmony and navigating group dynamics. When there is disharmony within a valued group, Ni-Fe could feel...threatened, perhaps. The Ni roadmap of how things should be - mostly facilitated by Fe - isn't going according to plan.

Edit post-nap:

(ignore the above, I was falling asleep when typing)

I can feel ill around fighting if I am close to those involved; however, I back off and disassociate if I cannot alleviate tension, waiting until the storm blows over and then approaching them if I feel they need it. The 'ill' feeling is accompanied by emotions that are more like echos, like I am living in the body experiencing them instead of feeling them myself. If the echos are particularly strong, I'll feel disoriented and sick to my stomach, maybe with a headache. Serious turmoil and surprise (if I saw it coming, it doesn't affect me) is needed for that though and rarely occurs. When this happens in high doses, pain, migraines, and doorslamming follows.

My first instinct is to counsel and smooth out bumps, essentially what @TheDaringHatTrick laid out below. Sympathetic diplomacy before living-in-your-pain empathy; I don't lose sleep over others' interpersonal relations unless it's very serious and I've been asked to help. It' similar to quarantining zombie viruses: I'll do what I can where I can, but it's still your problem and will be handled one way or another eventually.

 

[This]

Depends on what those around me are feeling, I'm fairly empathic.

 

[5r6jhd]

Not always, but I grew up in an abusive household, so I think I just got used to it.

My back is always tight though....i have massive problems wit the muscles in my back due to tension and stress from conflict.

 

[Vict]

I get agitated and feel a need to end the conflict, one way or another.

That can sometimes lead to physical repercussions.

 

[Elis]

when arguments don't work, I have little to no reason to stay and chat with them. I don't have a problem with conflict however.

 

[tfg345i4u5lw]

All people are capable of getting physically ill from stress, it's not a typology thing. INFJ's are more prone than most however. I know my body tends to follow my brain more than most people. Like for example if I'm on edge about something my muscles will tighten and my pupils widen. I have actually had people point it out to me when I wasn't aware of it.

Stress for long periods of time has made me feel sick before. But when that happens I try to quickly diagnose the issues causing the stress and fix them. If INFJ's leave stress unchecked it can start to show physically.

 

[Sai]

yes, emotional problems makes me feel ill.

 

[Elis]

[MENTION=4992]Sai[/MENTION]
do you mean the emotional problems you encounter during a conflict, or the conflict being emotional in itself?

I don't think the conflicts had to be emotional.

 

[Sai]

[MENTION=4992]Sai[/MENTION]
do you mean the emotional problems you encounter during a conflict, or the conflict being emotional in itself?

I don't think the conflicts had to be emotional.

its funny because i get ill only with emotional problems, like family problems. But ive been in some street fights and i never get that bad reaction in my body. So its no conflict what makes me ill its only conflict in an emotional level i think.

 

[Leticia Mejor]

When I see strangers engaged in conflict, very little emotional response is felt and I suffer no bodily effects. Among friends, I will try to maintain my composure enough to calm them down while progressively getting more and more angry myself. In my

experience relationship problems/stress have the most physical effect on me. I get nauseas, throw up a lot, have bad insomnia. I feel the stress as anxiety symptoms, and if the conflict is unresolved they get worse and worse.

 

[JGirl]

Question from an INTJ to INFJ.

When your personality type encounters stress from the interactions around you, do you feel physically ill? For example, your group of friends is arguing, and you've already found out how to solve the argument, yet your group of friends keep arguing.

I've been teaching myself reiki over the past few years, and met with a master. I used reiki on an INFJ who was stressed out from conflict in a friends group. There was certainly a lot of back pain and tummy ache from the conflict.

So, I was curious if this is common with INFJ.

i become agitated, sometimes outwardly angry if i can't get away from unnecessary conflict. it's like i am absorbing it without my consent. i still have a ways to go to completely control that.
as for getting ill, i can see how that could happen with someone who is hypersensitive as infj's are.

 

[sassafras]

You know, I have actually never read any reputable literature on the topic of INFJs being hypersensitive. In fact, the way I understand it, having Ni as a dominant function and Fe as an auxiliary actually suggests more of an abstract experience of feelings rather than anything bodily.

In my own experience, I actually find that INFJs, like their INTJ counterparts, are actually a lot more emotionally detached than some of you are suggesting. Yes, they're still primarily concerned with their relationships and the plight of their fellow creatures, and while they are very sympathetic and kind, they're not as personal as the picture being painted here. Their function line up makes them more suited to 'I really want to help you solve the interpersonal problem at hand' rather than 'let me take a time out to deal with the feelings this interpersonal problem is causing me.' Indeed, INFJs understand and sympathize with their relationships more than they directly feel and experience them.

Either way, there is no denying that anyone is capable of experiencing physical distress from emotional conflict, but the key difference is how often, to what degree, and how personal we make it. Therefore, given their descriptions and where they're traditionally mapped out in the brain, I still maintain that is more typical for Fi dominant/auxiliaries to escalate and physically experience their emotions than their Fe dominant/auxiliary cousins.

 

[jgregulus]

Certainly not trying to paint a picture here. Just saying how I saw the scenario.

In any case, what was interesting, is the INFJ did seem very detached and I had no idea the person was feeling that way until I tried reiki.

 

[acd]

I experience physical ailments when inpretty unpleasant situations. I've thrown up after arguments (rare) and get tension headaches a lot. I get stomach aches and hedaches when bored (used to happen in school as a kid and recently at a job I held last summer). I am more apt to believe it is neurosis than a normal personality trait. I tend to try to over contain things.

 

[AzulSoul]

Hehe, I tend to get muscle aches! See, I tense up unconsciously if there's a conflict near me, and when it turns out to be a prolonged argument that gets problematic. Other than that, not really. Conflict is more uncomfortable emotionally than physically for me, as with most of the other INFJs I've met. I agree with being more detached than the common perception of INFJs though - the reason that conflict tends to stress me is because people are all too often unwilling to do what needs to be done in order to resolve it. So I suppose it's frustration rather than raw empathy!

 

[JGirl]

You know, I have actually never read any reputable literature on the topic of INFJs being hypersensitive. In fact, the way I understand it, having Ni as a dominant function and Fe as an auxiliary actually suggests more of an abstract experience of feelings rather than anything bodily.

In my own experience, I actually find that INFJs, like their INTJ counterparts, are actually a lot more emotionally detached than some of you are suggesting. Yes, they're still primarily concerned with their relationships and the plight of their fellow creatures, and while they are very sympathetic and kind, they're not as personal as the picture being painted here. Their function line up makes them more suited to 'I really want to help you solve the interpersonal problem at hand' rather than 'let me take a time out to deal with the feelings this interpersonal problem is causing me.' Indeed, INFJs understand and sympathize with their relationships more than they directly feel and experience them.

Either way, there is no denying that anyone is capable of experiencing physical distress from emotional conflict, but the key difference is how often, to what degree, and how personal we make it. Therefore, given their descriptions and where they're traditionally mapped out in the brain, I still maintain that is more typical for Fi dominant/auxiliaries to escalate and physically experience their emotions than their Fe dominant/auxiliary cousins.

i am probably the most emotionally detached person going, and although i am that way it takes a great deal of my emotional energy to maintain it, strangely enough.
i am a highly sensitive person in all definitions of that term. every sense is extremely heightened, which is one of the main reasons i am as detached as i am. survival and all that lol
so whether the 'literature' is there or not, reputable or not, it is my experience that the two are in fact connected.

 

[InvisibleJim]

To my knowledge, acute aches and ails and other physical manifestations of emotional distress would be typically more of a Fi-trait than a Ni or Fe-trait.

Watch out, the closet INFPs are outing themselves.

 

[Inquisitive]

You know, I have actually never read any reputable literature on the topic of INFJs being hypersensitive. In fact, the way I understand it, having Ni as a dominant function and Fe as an auxiliary actually suggests more of an abstract experience of feelings rather than anything bodily.

In my own experience, I actually find that INFJs, like their INTJ counterparts, are actually a lot more emotionally detached than some of you are suggesting. Yes, they're still primarily concerned with their relationships and the plight of their fellow creatures, and while they are very sympathetic and kind, they're not as personal as the picture being painted here. Their function line up makes them more suited to 'I really want to help you solve the interpersonal problem at hand' rather than 'let me take a time out to deal with the feelings this interpersonal problem is causing me.' Indeed, INFJs understand and sympathize with their relationships more than they directly feel and experience them.

Either way, there is no denying that anyone is capable of experiencing physical distress from emotional conflict, but the key difference is how often, to what degree, and how personal we make it. Therefore, given their descriptions and where they're traditionally mapped out in the brain, I still maintain that is more typical for Fi dominant/auxiliaries to escalate and physically experience their emotions than their Fe dominant/auxiliary cousins.

I get what you're saying. But working with the premise that, once ignited within an individual, an emotion is meant to be "heard" or even "heeded", not as the sole "voice" of any given situation, but as a necessary "contributor", and when left "unheard" or "unheeded" it remains present within the body until which time it can be "voiced"... Then I would say that it is the fact that an INFJ is not Fi dominant that contributes to the physical manifestation.

It's basically a physical manifestation of unprocessed emotion.