Do you feel comfortable expressing your opinions and feelings? | INFJ Forum

Do you feel comfortable expressing your opinions and feelings?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by HunterO, Mar 8, 2015.

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  1. HunterO

    HunterO Community Member

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    I have conducted some personal research, and noticed that a significant portion of men on the internet like to crossdress as women, and express their feelings through reverse gender perspectives, even to the extent that they pretend to be women and write letters to themselves.

    In our society, there is this pervasive pattern of genderfication of both men and women- women have to be more "accommodating"; men have to be more "stoic" etc that portrays both genders on opposite extremes. This is particularly more apparent in the United States, where men who do not have a "pastiche" sense of masculinity are often portrayed as "weak Hipsters". Men in America, especially, are afraid of being ridiculed by other men and women who portray vulnerability and emotion.

    European men tend to be more comfortable with the expression of their emotive and nurturing states, and do not necessarily think masculinity is about being a "macho" type of individual, which is an equivalent sentiment to considering "femininity" as that overly transexual looking women with exaggerated comic book features (big blonde hair, large breast implants, lots of clownish makeup).

    Similarly, some women feel more comfortable expressing controversial opinions through the masculine POV. There are a lot of writers in history that validate this theory: The Bronte Sisters, George Sand, George Eliot, Shakespeare, et al, consist of female writers who wrote on very controversial topics under a male pseudonym. Society is much more in admiration of men who express intellectual thought than women who do so- and often women who are seen in the public eye are ridiculed if they express opinions outside conventional thought.

    So I'm wondering for you ladies and gentlemen, do you feel comfortable expressing your feelings and opinions through your own gender? Or do you feel more comfortable expressing them through the opposite gender?
     
  2. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    ... feelings...?

    :m075:
     
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  3. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Permanently relocated
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    I feel a but bamboozled because of the title. Im not sure how you came to your conclusion. Perhaps its accurate perhaps not. I suppose when interacting with people over the Internet I do always take into consideration they may not be who they say they are so that feeds a bit into what you are saying. Also I think there are more than a few people who have more than one account with intent on many forums.

    Theres a bigger question here I think overall. Do I feel comfortable stating everything I think on the Internet. The answer to that would have to be no way. Too many people out there who will take something you say out if context and on a bad day decide to ruin your life if they can. The lady who made a long standing personal joke with her childhood friend public on the Internet and is now labeled as any number of social enemys to society. Even after her friend told people they need to stop because they dont know what they are talking about. Its crazy.
     
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    #3 Eventhorizon, Mar 8, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2015
  4. sprinkles

    sprinkles Well-known member

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    I mostly try to come across as genderless actually because I don't think it should matter. I'm some times 'girlish' (my name is sprinkles ffs) but a lot of times I'm very 'boyish' (I MAKE TREBUCHETS) but in the end the reality is that I like both of those things and I don't think the stereotypes really matter because I just do what I want. And try not to make gender an issue.
     
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  5. Erlian

    Erlian Community Member

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    I feel manly for not being afraid to be open about my emotions.

    Opinions at all times. No one can hide from them.
    The number one consideration whether I am open about my feelings is whether I will bother someone else with it.
    Sometimes I have feelings about a person and that person might not be viewed as positive. In this case I'd just be talking someone down behind their back and I don't like that. Also it can be quite weird / awkward / bothersome if someone you don't see as a close friend is very open about his feelings. I try to read the other to see if (s)he is open to my story. Then slowly open up more and more. If (s)he changes the topic I won't continue. This exception also counts when I want to disclose my feelings to the person I have feelings about. Mostly I don't, because it often makes things worse.

    I'm quite serious about privacy. I make sure my different online accounts aren't somehow linked together. I make sure that someone else cannot create a larger picture of me than the picture that I share. I don't want people to know something about me, unless I disclosed it myself. I'm quick to disclose though.

    One reason I might be easy to disclose is that I don't see my emotions as me. It's something that's happening to me. But it's not me.
     
  6. Radiantshadow

    Radiantshadow Urban shaman

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    Generalities abound.

    Anyway, yes, I am comfortable expressing myself. I get my point across in the manner in which it needs to be heard to be acknowledged and understood.
     
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  7. Elegant Winter

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    I think the mind is genderless and we are our minds, not our bodies.
     
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  8. Reanbell

    Reanbell Newbie

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    I really don't think gender matters when it comes to expressing feelings, but I feel like society *can* influence certain genders to keep quiet about themselves. So it's not necessarily that they have no desire to share, but something prevents them from doing so. For instance males are told constantly even at a young age, that crying or expressing themselves makes them sensitive or a "girl". Yes, people still use girl as an insult to this very day. I think many people are very expressive but are merely afraid to let out what is inside due to being judged or otherwise. But when they express themselves they are not speaking their feelings because of their gender - as the post says above me, our minds do not have a gender. And we speak from our minds constantly.

    For myself, I have always said how I felt one way or another. Whether it was to a diary, my friends in private, to myself etc. I am the type of person that feels very strongly and feels the need to express things or else it will drive me crazy. I'm not sure why I feel the need to speak my thoughts so much, but if I don't I feel overwhelmed.
     
  9. Lavendel

    Lavendel Community Member

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    As a scandinavian, I feel very uncomfortable expressing my feelings and opinions. I wouldn't let that stop me when I was younger, I always spoke my mind but that led to alienation, bullying and manipulation. You are not supposed to have individuality in Sweden, you can be angry and have large emotions but only about a popular opinion where others will back you. I refused to accept this and it cost me friendships, my bachelor degree and trust in myself. I can express myself fully with my fiancé, and I am coming to a better place again after 2 years of depression. I am learning it is allowed to have emotions here in the UK, but it's taking alot of work and reassurance. I feel better using strength training to deal with my feelings but I am coming back to writing which is working well. I was always told I was overboard with my emotions, but I have come to learn that I'm actually hard to read. It takes me a bit of time to accept that I am allowed to take space, that it's not selfish to speak up among friends.
     
  10. Solongo

    Solongo Well-known member

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    In privacy of my home with people i trust i express myself more via masculine tendencies. Especially when i am being hypercritical of something. But when I am feeling emotional - i tend to express my views like a girl. Like when it comes to discussing relationship issues with friends I notice that i tend to take a masculine view and gets surprise reactions because apparently im supposed to be on the girls side all the time because im a girl.
     
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  11. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Within the constraint of my culture (Southeast Asian), I think I'm more comfortable than most;

    but even then, I would say I'm quite reserved IRL. I'm more open in the net .__.
     
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  12. BrokenDaniel

    Infraction Bin

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    My own gender mainly, i think. I'm a man. I have a few people that help me to conceal my sometimes troubled feelings, but overall, i don't think i express myself as more feminine in any way specially. Not more than others. Sometimes i relate to women's feelings and views, i had a lot of women who happened to be my friends, where a lot of their troubles and feelings towards relationships were shared by me, like idealizing love (when i was in elementary school or so, i had serious and frequent fantasies of getting married with a classmate that i had a major crush by example, as weird as it may sound) and things like in relationships getting overly troubled over details, like "she didn't said hello to me in the same way, something must be going on" and things like that, i'm not saying that all women are like that, but it stands out more with them generally, at least where i live.
    Overall, i don't think that gets across, like softer demeanor and more stereotypically feminine than others. I'm pretty masculine in demeanor.
    As for my emotions, i have mixed feelings, i don't like too much talking about them, nor about my "sad story", i think people who frequently go around concealing their feelings, talking about their problems and basically wearing a "fragile" sign in their foreheads as attention seeking babies. In the other hand, i do believe in sharing your pain with another person in certain moments, there's a lot of kinship there, also trust and connection. It's extremely rare though.
     
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    #12 BrokenDaniel, Mar 29, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2015
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