Do you ever feel like the people around you aren't alive? | INFJ Forum

Do you ever feel like the people around you aren't alive?

latch

latch

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Nov 21, 2017
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People seem to be caught in loop or running a program. Are they conscious? Are they NPC's merely running a script? They never change or grow and have no interest in doing so?

Do you walk among the zombies?

Edit in responce to judgy responses to this thread:
It should be noted that in this post I do not claim to espouse this view. Subsequent posts hint that I do but be advised those feelings are fleeting and the OP is fully aware of the unhealthy nature of falling into solipsism.
 
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Yes very much so sometimes while for the rest not so much but those with a lot of suppressed emotions as well those who don't have any emotions leave me feeling sick.
 
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Peppermint said:
No. I also think that kind of view objectifies people on a deep level.
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I can see this point if you're assuming I think I am better than anyone. By assuming, I mean judging- you don't have enough data for such a judgment.

But, what I see is people doing things that are self-destructive and not in line with the best quality of life ad infinitum. People are amazing and precious and don't know what they are.
 
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No.
Just because you may see people doing things you don't like or approve of doesn't mean they aren't growing and learning and living vibrant and complex lives like you. We don't always know what's going on inside of someone else.
 
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acd said:
No.
Just because you may see people doing things you don't like or approve of doesn't mean they aren't growing and learning and living vibrant and complex lives like you. We don't always know what's going on inside of someone else.
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I wouldn't say they are things I don't 'approve' of. People can do what ever they want. I have often found when I have been judgy, I was doing the very thing I was judging others for.

It looks like you are assuming I'm talking about people that I haven't observed extensively.

Also, what if what I don't 'approve' of is endulging in anxiety? Is anxiety ever good? I have always found it to be unpleasant as well as detrimental to my physical and mental health. Surely an argument can be made for it to be a catalyst to get things done.

Do you 'approve' of anxiety?

What if I am talking about hatred? and so on..
 
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They’re alive, however at times when I’m in a herd of people I feel like I need to escape.

Eg: While waiting for my flight I found a really nice cozy spot in the back of a restaurant and a dude came over with two car seats and asked me if I would mind if he brought his family over. Why would someone do that?

I replied, “Of course not, as long as you bring all the screaming kids in the airport with you” in a sarcastically yet joking way. Why even ask me? Meh I was just cranky bc my flight was canceled and I had to spend the night until I could get on the next morning flight.

After my sarcastic comment I did notice he seemed to be a really good dad, even changing diapers. I couldn’t help but think geez what a good dad. Too bad I never had that experience with my kiddos. Should have married an INTP or ENFP. Some men (and women) shouldn’t get married and have children. Not everyone is cut out to have a nice family.
 
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latch said:
I wouldn't say they are things I don't 'approve' of. People can do what ever they want. I have often found when I have been judgy, I was doing the very thing I was judging others for.

It looks like you are assuming I'm talking about people that I haven't observed extensively.

Also, what if what I don't 'approve' of is endulging in anxiety? Is anxiety ever good? I have always found it to be unpleasant as well as detrimental to my physical and mental health. Surely an argument can be made for it to be a catalyst to get things done.

Do you 'approve' of anxiety?

What if I am talking about hatred? and so on..
Click to expand...

So in this thread it seems like you're saying people have this amazing potential that they aren't actualizing when they indulge in negativity and destruction and this makes them them seem like they are zombies or not fully alive... They get caught up in loops that prevent them from reaching their potential.

I wouldn't see someone struggling with anxiety as not fully living.
 
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acd said:
So in this thread it seems like you're saying people have this amazing potential that they aren't actualizing when they indulge in negativity and destruction and this makes them them seem like they are zombies or not fully alive... They get caught up in loops that prevent them from reaching their potential.

I wouldn't see someone struggling with anxiety as not fully living.
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Yes, I would say this is a pretty good summary. Anxiety is merely an example of the condition.

Anxiety is living in the future worrying about a thing may happen(associated with fear) and depression is living in the past(associated with guilt) The sufferer is a time traveler suffering for things that happened before or things that have not happened and may never happen. Their body doesn't know the difference and takes on stress damage. The person is not present in the moment - hence they are not there. Only now exists.

I have a client who is abusive to me and even moreso to his mexican helpers and it's born out of his insecurity. He says he hates people because they are stupid. He goes out of his way to point out when someone messes up and brags about how he's always thinking and is dismissive to those around him while passing their ideas off as his.

Obviously, it irratates me but it does so less now that I realised he's just doing the same thing over an over. I feel bad for him and I think he's hurting himself more than us.

Do I 'approve' of such behaviour? It's not my place to judge him. Would I act like that? I'm sure I have at some point in time but I don't like hurting people.

He has terrible anxiety- he's restless and has to have loud music playing constantly and he drinks a lot. Till he's sloppy drunk.

He's pretty smart and good at what he does and he's a tormented person. He doesn't tend to be in the present moment.

If you have heard someone talking about being alive- truly alive or awake or whatever and know what that means then you can easily draw a comparison on what I mean as alive over alive as in breathing or having some semblance of life.

I guess you could say I'm talking about present conciousness and the life experience over the rat race or waiting for the next movie to come out and never thinking, feeling, and being yourself.
 
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latch said:
I guess you could say I'm talking about present conciousness and the life experience over the rat race or waiting for the next movie to come out and never thinking feeling and being yourself.
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What if your zombie self is more woke than the mirrored reflection of your spiritual christ consciousness? :thinkinghard:
 
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@latch how do you deal with your abusive client? Here’s a line that might work. “I understand. What can I do to make this/things better?”

I’ll find more for you later.
 
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To answer your question yes ... I've felt like that for a very long time... I've often referred to people as card board cut outs... Shallow and pedantic... But I think it's just because we think and feel on a deeper level and have our own issues... Some people like small talk... And don't live in the future like we do...
 
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Happy Phantom said:
@latch how do you deal with your abusive client? Here’s a line that might work. “I understand. What can I do to make this/things better?”

I’ll find more for you later.
Click to expand...

I just try to do my best at the job. I know he needs me but as soon as I can afford to not work for him, I won't. I limit my contact with toxic people when I can. You know about that and you know I know about it.
He's just one example of this condition. I'm not looking to fix him- I have found nearly no one wants help if they're not asking for it and lots of people who do ask also don't want help either. It's kinda weird, like they like suffering.

Heck, I know people that think feeling guilty about something makes them feel better about what happened. Guilt for guilt's sake to feel good. wtf If that isn't a programmed loop I dunno what is.

I have a friend who's thinks his problem is anxiety. So he's anxious about his anxiety!
 
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latch said:
Yes, I would say this is a pretty good summary. Anxiety is merely an example of the condition.

Anxiety is living in the future worrying about a thing may happen(associated with fear) and depression is living in the past(associated with guilt) The sufferer is a time traveler suffering for things that happened before or things that have not happened and may never happen. Their body doesn't know the difference and takes on stress damage. The person is not present in the moment - hence they are not there. Only now exists.

I have a client who is abusive to me and even moreso to his mexican helpers and it's born out of his insecurity. He says he hates people because they are stupid. He goes out of his way to point out when someone messes up and brags about how he's always thinking and is dismissive to those around him while passing their ideas off as his.

Obviously, it irratates me but it does so less now that I realised he's just doing the same thing over an over. I feel bad for him and I think he's hurting himself more than us.

Do I 'approve' of such behaviour? It's not my place to judge him. Would I act like that? I'm sure I have at some point in time but I don't like hurting people.

He has terrible anxiety- he's restless and has to have loud music playing constantly and he drinks a lot. Till he's sloppy drunk.

He's pretty smart and good at what he does and he's a tormented person. He doesn't tend to be in the present moment.

If you have heard someone talking about being alive- truly alive or awake or whatever and know what that means then you can easily draw a comparison on what I mean as alive over alive as in breathing or having some semblance of life.

I guess you could say I'm talking about present conciousness and the life experience over the rat race or waiting for the next movie to come out and never thinking, feeling, and being yourself.
Click to expand...

While I see the point you are trying to convey...and I even agree with certain people seemingly having a shallow existence.
You are absolutely incorrect in your view of conditions like anxiety, PTSD, etc, etc, and how much control one has over such conditions.
Undiagnosed high blood pressure can cause some people terrible anxiety and it's wholly physiological in nature...i.e. you can't always just will something away.
Chronic pain, causes depression and anxiety via physiologic pathways.
This is not to mention neurosis caused by childhood abuse or traumatic stressors.
I find your view not only wrong...but insulting to those who struggle or have struggled with any type of similar condition.
You cannot reason anxiety away.
 
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