Do many people hate the INFJ ability to read others and dig up hidden motivations?

[larcipelago]

Ha! You wish.

See? He just pressed the trigger. We are using different methods calles playing up emotions

 

[dragulagu]

Yes, I admit INTJ s reading ability too, but kinda robotics and a more silent mode, while I usually do it by pressing some triggers we know they will respond accordingly.

Strangely it seems INTJ's are human as well

 

[HJpAjcdO0X]

I'm thinking about it and honestly, intuition is probably the most honest thing. It's primal and built on survival, at least if we are talking about intuition that alerts us to be cautious. I don't think our intuition lies to us about things like danger.

I know I've mentioned this a few times before on this forum, but when I experienced feeling very alarmed by a store clerk for NO apparent reason it was because my intuition picked something up about him. I couldn't understand why though until I later saw him in the newspaper and realized he was a dangerous person. My way of handling it was to just not go back to that store. I did not go around town talking about a creepy clerk. In fact, I thought I was the one with the problem he disturbed me so for no conceivable reason. But I guess in that case I didn't assign any motive to him. And he wasn't someone I had to deal with regularly so I didn't need to assign a motive.

My mom is one of eight siblings, ONE of those siblings I was just not about whatsoever. Unlike the rest of my aunts and uncles who I loved for their loveable and unique quirks, this uncle there was just something about him that was off, and as far back as I can remember actively avoided him. He never did anything to me, I just never had a good feeling. My mom asked me at five years old, why I didn't like him, noticing how affectionate I was with every other aunt and uncle BUT him. At five the most detailed response I had was "He's a bad man."
When I was eighteen my moms youngest brother finally got clean after thirty plus years. I mean he was warned of how bad his cirrhosis was ten years prior to that so that gives you an idea of where his addiction wad at. He put a lot of work into addressing the trauma that were contributing factors to his alcoholism. One of those traumas was the repeated sexual assaults he faced as a child at the hands of that Uncle the "Bad Man". Maybe my uncle wanted to hold that in until after that uncles passing, for fear of what waves it might cause I don't know. Still...energy, vibes, whatever the hell you want to call them must be true to some extent.

 

[Misty]

My mom is one of eight siblings, ONE of those siblings I was just not about whatsoever. Unlike the rest of my aunts and uncles who I loved for their loveable and unique quirks, this uncle there was just something about him that was off, and as far back as I can remember actively avoided him. He never did anything to me, I just never had a good feeling. My mom asked me at five years old, why I didn't like him, noticing how affectionate I was with every other aunt and uncle BUT him. At five the most detailed response I had was "He's a bad man."
When I was eighteen my moms youngest brother finally got clean after thirty plus years. I mean he was warned of how bad his cirrhosis was ten years prior to that so that gives you an idea of where his addiction wad at. He put a lot of work into addressing the trauma that were contributing factors to his alcoholism. One of those traumas was the repeated sexual assaults he faced as a child at the hands of that Uncle the "Bad Man". Maybe my uncle wanted to hold that in until after that uncles passing, for fear of what waves it might cause I don't know. Still...energy, vibes, whatever the hell you want to call them must be true to some extent.

100 percent. ^^

 

[HJpAjcdO0X]

I'm thinking about it and honestly, intuition is probably the most honest thing. It's primal and built on survival, at least if we are talking about intuition that alerts us to be cautious. I don't think our intuition lies to us about things like danger.

I know I've mentioned this a few times before on this forum, but when I experienced feeling very alarmed by a store clerk for NO apparent reason it was because my intuition picked something up about him. I couldn't understand why though until I later saw him in the newspaper and realized he was a dangerous person. My way of handling it was to just not go back to that store. I did not go around town talking about a creepy clerk. In fact, I thought I was the one with the problem he disturbed me so for no conceivable reason. But I guess in that case I didn't assign any motive to him. And he wasn't someone I had to deal with regularly so I didn't need to assign a motive.

If you were in this same scenario with someone you encountered today, how would you handle it differently? Can you identify it easier? Is it less alarming or equally the same?

 

[acd]

If you were in this same scenario with someone you encountered today, how would you handle it differently? Can you identify it easier? Is it less alarming or equally the same?

I wouldn't do anything different. I stayed away from that store because I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of running into that person again. I don't think I'd be able to label why I felt that way, I would only know I should stay away from that person or not trust them. I think it would be just as alarming. I might not automatically think I'm the one with a problem (I thought it was social anxiety) like I did after that incident. I might be more cognizant that I picked up some kind of signal of danger. That might be the only thing that changes.

 

[Mfj8LaH546rfr]

Does this INFJ "talent" make others feel uneasy around you? Do some people hate you because you can read them and bring up hidden motivations?

I just found out I’m an INFJ and it’s been so validating and helpful to have this group of people confirm I’m not crazy or over-the-top for no reason.

Anyway, yeah. The older I get the more I understand what it is I’m picking up on. Got so awkward at work for me I had to quit. People were freaked out. They either felt read by me or misconstrued my ways as meaning something else entirely. I don’t even want to work with other people ever again.

Also, I got burnt out and sick after this. It’s been over a year’s worth of about a dozen illnesses. And a nightmarish experience with countless doctors and dentists. Most of whom were so so scared of lil old quite me for just asking simple, maybe unexpectedly well informed, questions (I have a science background).

Turned out most of my very real issues were stress induced and psychosomatic because as soon as I got the okay, the symptoms left. Regardless, my experience with these, even sometimes “top-level experts,” showed me that doctors and dentists are in most cased not well informed, have no real understanding of what they basically memorized in school and are very afraid that you may catch on, and are unwilling to be wrong or do research to better help patients. I was basically rushed out of several offices, to my great surprise. And had I blindly accepted the advice I was given, I would now be on three unnecessary medications, had an unnecessary surgery to remove an organ, and had four unnecessary fillings with antibiotics (also unnecessary).

Today I am fine. And dropped the weight of the world’s burdens off my shoulders now that I know I’m INFJ and prone to care too much. Now I love people responsibly, and I let them make their mistakes, while I do me and focus on my stuff.

 

[Anomaly]

I think we need to be careful to discern the difference between reading patterns of behavior based on the information given to us, and actually being able to know with certainty someone else's intent or motivations. These things are not at all analgous.

You can never know someone's motivations, nor their intentions with absolute certainty. Unless said outright by them, or proven in the patterns of their successive actions. Even still, there exist some things that humans do, wherein we have no idea why or where that notion came from, as it is repressed and unknown even to themselves.

For example, say your friend has a new boyfriend and he gives you an odd feeling in your insights (this could or could not be justified given analysis). Perhaps, over time you still have this feeling that something is just not right with him. What do you do?

You can either continue to observe and wait, or you could speak with your friend about him, and perhaps in gaining more information form a better basis to support the original insight.

However, say in speaking to your friend, your friend complains about him, saying he's abusing her or is malicious. Then what? Sure, you've had an odd feeling or 'woo-woos', but now you've been given some proof to substantiate your insight. The friend is giving you empirical evidence that something is not quite right. Thus, you are presented with two more choices, either ask your friend for objective proof that the boyfriend is indeed abusive, or you can sit by in support while your friend continues to tell you that they are being hurt in some way. Sure, you could approach the boyfriend yourself, taking a huge risk in initiating with someone your friend has already told you is highly unstable, but it could provoke wrath towards your friend who is already dealing with supposed abuse and is vulnerable.

So, you ask for more information. Either your friend can provide objective proof of her boyfriend's supposed nefariousness, or she can't. If not, then it is not up to you to fill in the blanks with your subjective insights to form the basis for her boyfriend's intentions or character. What is up to you is to be there for your friend, and encourage her to do what is best for her.

Now, say your friend provides objective proof of her boyfriend's abuse towards her. Then, and only then, does it give you certain and just cause for the patterns of insight you originally had about his character.

Of course, many of us, at any mention of harm to our friends, would defend them regardless of just cause. Being supportive of your friend can happen no matter what the outcome of the analysis. This is only natural. For many of us, it is the first impulse. However, if an insight we have based on patterns is unfounded through no credible or objective proof, then we have no justification for any sort of intuitive reading of someone's intent nor their character, and we can only go off of subjective information which is often akin to opinion. It's an irony to do so, as you'd be proving your opinionated insight with the opinions of your friend. Logical fallacy anyone?

We have a natural inclination to defend those we care about. However, if you want to be sure about your 'woo-woo' insights, analyzing objective information is the only way to do that. You must have proof to be certain. Now, in the face of proof there are a world of options, and you can better advise your friend with all pertinent information.

Without verification as a component of intuition, it's useless, and frankly not trustworthy.

 

[dZpADTLrPmX4c]

Without verification as a component of intuition, it's useless, and frankly not trustworthy.

I agree, with the caveat that there are times verification isn't possible for us, yet a decision must be made.
I'd caution against it though.

 

[Anomaly]

I agree, with the caveat that there are times verification isn't possible for us, yet a decision must be made.
I'd caution against it though.

True. Sometimes, cutting ties seems the best option in cases of no just cause, but the individual/situation still gives us strong notions we cannot shake. Good point, Winter. Ultimately, we must act in our best interest and the interest of others, even if we don't have all of the information.

 

[Anomaly]

Oh, that is the intention. It should generate discomfort;

Yes. A violence to yourself in forcing verification of your insights. A violence to others when your intuition is given just cause through objective proofs. Still, more violence, to be burned in it, and move forward in that truth, regardless of the 'side' you're on. It's all a violence.

 

[Synergos]

True. Sometimes, cutting ties seems the best option in cases of no just cause, but the individual/situation still gives us strong notions we cannot shake. Good point, Winter. Ultimately, we must act in our best interest and the interest of others, even if we don't have all of the information.

Many times the best option is taking the risk. Couple or most times I neglected my intuition and I had a big regret. Lessons learned!

 

[mintoots]

Without verification as a component of intuition, it's useless, and frankly not trustworthy.

I agree, with the caveat that there are times verification isn't possible for us, yet a decision must be made.
I'd caution against it though.

True. Sometimes, cutting ties seems the best option in cases of no just cause, but the individual/situation still gives us strong notions we cannot shake. Good point, Winter. Ultimately, we must act in our best interest and the interest of others, even if we don't have all of the information.

Best to keep an open mind at all times. If you can afford to ask or to confront, do it. Clarify. Otherwise, reserve judgment. Even with as much fact as we can collect, the necessity to validate is paramount. There are more than two sides to any story.

However, weigh based on what sits right with you personally. If it causes sleepless nights, if it weighs you down, decide even without the facts. Decide for yourself. Usually, the best decision is to give space; not necessarily to cut ties but to reanalyze. Regroup and go back to the situation if you can or if you need to. Say the person is profoundly important to you. If not and you can exist without them, and you most likely can, let it be. Also, try not to judge the sins and faults of many. More so, while in this mindset, cherish resilience.

 

[Anomaly]

Best to keep an open mind at all times. If you can afford to ask or to confront, do it. Clarify. Otherwise, reserve judgment. Even with as much fact as we can collect, the necessity to validate is paramount. There are more than two sides to any story.

However, weigh based on what sits right with you personally. If it causes sleepless nights, if it weighs you down, decide even without the facts. Decide for yourself. Usually, the best decision is to give space; not necessarily to cut ties but to reanalyze. Regroup and go back to the situation if you can or if you need to. Say the person is profoundly important to you. If not and you can exist without them, and you most likely can, let it be. Also, try not to judge the sins and faults of many. More so, while in this mindset, cherish resilience.

Agreed, Min. I think going back to the original question of the thread, I provided a good basis for why intuition isn't always acceptable alone. I do understand the caveats, and can see the justifications for them, but it's still harmful if you don't have proof (at the very least empirical evidence) of substantiation.

 

[Anomaly]

Sorry, edited to further expound @mintoots ^

 

[Wyote]

We don't have time for proof in 2021
Execute now, ask questions later

 

[Anomaly]

We don't have time for proof in 2021
Execute now, ask questions later

Guilty. Now go to the chopping block. You used orange font. No prisoners. No mercy.

Lmao

 

[mintoots]

We don't have time for proof in 2021
Execute now, ask questions later

It became orange too late. So, No!

Agreed, Min. I think going back to the original question of the thread, I provided a good basis for why intuition isn't always acceptable alone. I do understand the caveats, and can see the justifications for them, but it's still harmful if you don't have proof (at the very least empirical evidence) of substantiation.

Intuition is good, but so is humanity. Nobody is worthy enough to cast the first stone but also it is up to us to protect ourselves. There are multiple ways to go about this but it depends on how familiar we are with our strengths.

People will always disappoint and people will always need at least one soul to understand. Be that soul if you can. But if it tears you apart, no other such soul is worth both your corruption. Tragedies ought to be lessons.

 

[Anomaly]

It became orange too late. So, No!


Intuition is good, but so is humanity. Nobody is worthy enough to cast the first stone but also it is up to us to protect ourselves. There are multiple ways to go about this but it depends on how familiar we are with our strengths.

People will always disappoint and people will always need at least one soul to understand. Be that soul if you can. But if it tears you apart, no other such soul is worth both your corruption. Tragedies ought to be lessons.

Oh, in this, I agree wholeheartedly. <3

 

[Wyote]

No prisoners. No mercy.

Be that soul if you can. But if it tears you apart, no other such soul is worth both your corruption. Tragedies ought to be lessons.