Hi Everyone,
Thanks Artemisia for this thread. This is probably one of my first posts on this forum and I'm happy that it happens on this specific topic. There are days where I can feel strongly my infj type and others where I'm being numb to it and keep going with my surrounding world.
I'm also in my 30's and my conception of an ideal world has reduced itself to an ideal personal life. I believe that lots of facts in life contribute to a change in our idealism such as griefs, loss of friends, work and education not turning out the way we wanted, negative environments, and so on (these are personal but I'm sure they also relate to others)...
These days, once I finish work, I enjoy coming home to my cats and getting active inside. Closing the door behind me feels like I'm leaving the urban jungle full of predators and sneaky creatures trying to hurt me.
Somehow, I discovered the same thing as you did, that I actually enjoyed certain things I was reluctant to do in my early years like cooking, taking on home improvement projects, teaching myself music. I find the time to do these activities and they help me to forget about the rest.
However, I tried to adapt to other people's idealism in so many ways that it ends up very conflicting in certain situations. I am very tolerant with others, but others are not. I always end up being the weakest one to break down (not that I don't push hard, as a matter of fact I push myself so hard that when I hit my limit with others I hit rock bottom really hard).
There are values and ethics I don't agree with, but I still need to manage them in my life to get through like many other ones in here I guess.
I came across a quote lately that sums up a bit our feeling:
"If you are not an idealist by the time you are twenty you have no heart, but if you are still an idealist by the time you are thirty, you don't have a head."
Randolph Bourne