Do good things come to those who wait? | INFJ Forum

Do good things come to those who wait?

Gaze

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Always heard this growing up, and wonder if it still holds true today. Are we more likely to get the things we want if we wait? If we wait, is the outcome usually better than if we went ahead and initiated some action to take it? Do we lose anything by not waiting? If we don't wait, is it necessarily going to be better because we went after it?
 
No, I don't think so.

On the other hand there are shortcuts, which in themselves I think can can cheat you.
 
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This is a very special topic.

Some believe that you can wait and believe in happening something and you need to dream with all the detains , doing nothing and it will come to you.

For me it was always the same until just last week.I knew if I'd dream about something to happen it will happen.I've seen! I've had the experience and if you see your dreams and you work on it you'll get it one day


On the other hand I've experienced an exception! I'd desperately wanted something but I was hopeless! so fuckin hopeless but it happened! and i didn't see it coming.
I don't know what really happened!
It could be a chance that inside that solid hopelessness I was kinda hopeful . Dunno

in the end , God works in mysterious ways ....
 
Always heard this growing up, and wonder if it still holds true today. Are we more likely to get the things we want if we wait? If we wait, is the outcome usually better than if we went ahead and initiated some action to take it? Do we lose anything by not waiting? If we don't wait, is it necessarily going to be better because we went after it?

Waiting sounds passive, and all through growing up, I was advised to be pro-active instead of being passive. But waiting doesn't necessarily mean doing nothing, does it? Waiting can be difficult for some people, who want things right away.

Do you think you could place that quote in a particular situation? Might help focus my thoughts on this.
 
Sure, if you're waiting for the right time to do something. Sometimes, you're just waiting for that moment and the opportunity passes.
 
Eventually something good is bound to happen.
 
Depends on what kind of waiting you are doing. Just sitting on the couch waiting for everything you want to bust through the front door and jump in your lap, no. However, I firmly believe, and have had proof of this several times over in my life, that the energy of the Universe will bring you the things you want if you a) give up control, stop trying to make things happen when and how you want them, b) have faith, and accept that sometimes the good stuff takes time to get organized before it comes to you, c) realize sometimes you must go through a change before you are truly ready for the thing you are waiting for (and sometimes that process is unpleasant, but on the back end of it you can see how it was necessary), d) you have to get out there and keep striving forward, trusting it will come to you.

This might sound like the Law of Attraction, or if you are familiar with Taoism, they call it wu wei, to do without doing. Think of life like a river, it's flowing in one direction, and it curves and bends and meanders across the land. You are in the river, and if you try to swim against the current, it's hard, sometimes impossible, but if you can relax and go with the flow, you might find it takes you to exactly where you want to be.

A couple of examples from my personal life, in my early adulthood years, I worked at a school in a small town outside the OKC metro area. I loved the town, and decided I wanted to live there. My husband at the time joined the military, and for the first four years he was in, I did everything I could to try to get us transferred back to the OKC metro so we could live in this town. I was miserable for four years. After four years, my husband cross trained into a new career in the military, and the new field was very limited, no bases in OK. I finally made peace with it, let go, and just made a life where I was. Three years later the military decided his current job was overmanned and he was forced to crosstrain into a new field, and low and behold, we got sent back to OK. Once I let go of making it happen on my terms in my time, it happened on it's own.

A second example, and the reason I absolutely believe this is true, a couple of years ago I was working for a corporation at a hospital complex, and I enjoyed my job, but it was high stress, and about an hour commute with a 45 minute drive and then either a 15 minute shuttle ride the last four miles from the parking garage, or a 10 minute walk once I moved into the closer parking garage. I was pretty settled into the grind, but often thought I would like to work somewhere where I was happier, and could use more of my creative skills (I was working in accounting), and I hated being so far away from my kids in case something happened (45 minutes seems like a long drive when your kid is at home with a cut open hand, or there is a tornado bearing down on the city). One day, my son calls me at work and tells me that the house is weird, things are moved around and doors are standing open. At first I don't understand what he is saying, then it clicks that my home had been robbed. I freak out and call the police and then hurry home, and although they took several things, it was clear that my son had interrupted them when he came home. My parents came over, and my mother mentions that she had received a letter from a lawyer for my ex, so I hop online to see the court records to find out what he's being sued over and find out there is a warrant out for his arrest. Suddenly getting robbed is not the worst thing that happened to me today. His charges were really serious, and for about two days I had no idea where he was and was terrified that he would try to take the kids and run. In the end I found out he had been picked up and was in jail already. Bad part of this is now I no longer have child support payments.

So I begin adjusting to the sudden lack of almost half my income, and have just about figured out how to make it work when the managers at my work ask me to step into their office, and notify me that they have eliminated my position and I'm getting laid off. Now I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach, I was supporting two children totally on my own and now I lost my job to boot? So I freaked out and cried for the rest of the night, then the next morning I decided that the universe was clearly clearing some big space in my life for better things, and so I knew they were going to happen, and I went forward with a great attitude and faith it was coming. I looked for work, but I didn't force anything, I didn't attach to anything, I stayed open and flowing. In the end, I only had one week I had no income, and within 6 weeks of my final day at my old job, I was offered a job working for the city I live in (which incidentally is the town I had wanted to live in so badly all those years ago).

My new job is a mile and a half from my home, and my commute is 5 minutes if there is traffic at the intersection. I am within four miles of both my kids' schools. I get an hour lunch and can come home, take off my shoes and relax, which makes the day go by so much better. My starting salary was lower than my old job, however between the fact that my new job pays for my health insurance and the gas I save by not driving 30 miles away, it equaled out, and I've earned two promotions in the year and a half I've worked there and now make more money than I've ever made and I'm a City Official, with really neat opportunities, and I get to use my writing, publishing, and creative design skills as I write the City Newsletter and do all the content and design for the City's website. I also get to do some accounting everyday too. My job is pretty much my dream job, and I never would have imagined it, but I love it and I'm so happy. And it's all because I had faith and trusted the flow of the Universe. And as for my ex husband? He spent a year and a half in jail, and then lost most of his rights when we went back to court (because of the nature of his crime) and now has limited visitation so he can't make my life hell any more.

I know it's long, but really, when I look back at it, it blows my mind. And that's what keeps me strong when I feel lonely because I don't have a relationship right now, because I know when the time is right, the right person will come along, and it's going to be amazing too.

So I consider it open active waiting. Think of it like fishing, you don't jump in the lake and chase the fish, you open yourself to catching one by casting out your line (your desire), then relax and wait for it to come to you, but you are alert and ready to act when it touches you (your line). You have to cast your line and be alert, but if you relax and wait, it will come to you. Does that make sense?
 
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I don't think so. I think good things are earned and achieved and those who wait receive whatever chance gives.
 
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Always heard this growing up, and wonder if it still holds true today. Are we more likely to get the things we want if we wait? If we wait, is the outcome usually better than if we went ahead and initiated some action to take it? Do we lose anything by not waiting? If we don't wait, is it necessarily going to be better because we went after it?

anyone who is able to answer you with certainty has the ability to see every possible future outcome of their choices.
I believe some things will always elude you if you wait, whilst others will elude you if you don't.
You simply cannot know this beforehand or even afterwards.
 
i think the meaning of this proverb is opposite to the proverb that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, ie. something isnt always worth having just because its readily available. i dont think it means that good things are bound to come automatically just by waiting.
 
Unless this quote is talking about patience.
 
No, I don't think so.

On the other hand there are shortcuts, which in themselves I think can can cheat you.

I agree that sometimes, not being willing to wait (which is different from having to wait) can rob someone of a great opportunity or cause someone to get less than they bargained for if they had been willing to wait it out a little longer. Sometimes, our impatience can cause us to think it's better to have something, however mediocre, than have nothing at all.

This is a very special topic.

Some believe that you can wait and believe in happening something and you need to dream with all the detains , doing nothing and it will come to you.

For me it was always the same until just last week.I knew if I'd dream about something to happen it will happen.I've seen! I've had the experience and if you see your dreams and you work on it you'll get it one day


On the other hand I've experienced an exception! I'd desperately wanted something but I was hopeless! so fuckin hopeless but it happened! and i didn't see it coming.
I don't know what really happened!
It could be a chance that inside that solid hopelessness I was kinda hopeful . Dunno

in the end , God works in mysterious ways ....
This sounds like a good example of positive thinking. If you believe it, it will happen.

Waiting sounds passive, and all through growing up, I was advised to be pro-active instead of being passive. But waiting doesn't necessarily mean doing nothing, does it? Waiting can be difficult for some people, who want things right away.

Do you think you could place that quote in a particular situation? Might help focus my thoughts on this.

I don't have a particular situation that I was thinking of. I guess it was a quote always used growing up to teach patience. However, there was always this underlying assumption that waiting should be passive. Don't do anything while waiting, just wait. I've come to realize this is not realistic in cases.

Sure, if you're waiting for the right time to do something. Sometimes, you're just waiting for that moment and the opportunity passes.

True. Sometimes, it's not simply waiting but waiting for the opportune time. Sometimes, if you wait too long, then you will let a good thing pass you by but maybe you don't realize it until it happens.

I don't think so. I think good things are earned and achieved and those who wait receive whatever chance gives.

I would like to believe so. Although it can be tough to wait patiently. Sometimes, waiting patiently will bring something someone wants, and there may be a feeling of gratitude if it's truly worth waiting for. But sometimes, we can wait for something for a long time, but what we receive is not as good as we imagined it to be. Our expectations were built up.

anyone who is able to answer you with certainty has the ability to see every possible future outcome of their choices.
I believe some things will always elude you if you wait, whilst others will elude you if you don't.
You simply cannot know this beforehand or even afterwards.

Fair point, but I don't think the idea is that you can know things with certainty. But sometimes there's a value in waiting for the best vs. the better. Of course, no one can know how things will pan out. In come cases, it's hope or faith.

No. Sounds like something an introvert would say to feel better about his habit of inaction.

Wow, you're quite the introvert cheerleader. Always seeing the good in us. :m145:Yes, introverts are sometimes wait longer to make decisions or take action but I don't it's always deliberate. Sometimes, it's being faced with too many choices, or worrying about outcomes, fear of risk if it doesn't turn out how we expected.

Unless this quote is talking about patience.

Yep, pretty much.

i think the meaning of this proverb is opposite to the proverb that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, ie. something isnt always worth having just because its readily available. i dont think it means that good things are bound to come automatically just by waiting.

Yeah, I also remember that proverb growing up. Although it may not mean that things will automatically come, this is often the preferred meaning. For a long time, it was assumed that the better person waited rather than took action to get something. The belief that not waiting would lead to accepting a less than the best result. Is it really better have one bird than have the chance at two? Doesn't it depends on what you get with each scenario? You could be happy with the one bird or you could wait and have the two birds, which may or may not last long.
 
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Always heard this growing up, and wonder if it still holds true today. Are we more likely to get the things we want if we wait? If we wait, is the outcome usually better than if we went ahead and initiated some action to take it? Do we lose anything by not waiting? If we don't wait, is it necessarily going to be better because we went after it?

To me patience along with self worth is key to almost everything. While waiting we have to work on our happiness and confidence so that we wont get discouraged. Hard to explain but they both work together.
 
Wow, you're quite the introvert cheerleader. Always seeing the good in us. :m145:Yes, introverts are sometimes wait longer to make decisions or take action but I don't it's always deliberate. Sometimes, it's being faced with too many choices, or worrying about outcomes, fear of risk if it doesn't turn out how we expected.

The basis of my point is less about introverts, and more about people who justify statements/beliefs based on their own strengths and weaknesses.
 
The basis of my point is less about introverts, and more about people who justify statements/beliefs based on their own strengths and weaknesses.
K.
 
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I once watched this educational conference talk where this guy stated that the algorithm for intelligence in every situation is to maximize your options. I thought finally someone whom understood me!
 
I think in waiting, you will get whatever comes: both good and bad. Going after what you want will increase your chance of getting it.
 
I think maybe the adage could be one of those things that's supposed to be said to kids to motivate them. If you take someone who is feeling impatient and acting silly, and give them this line, then they will stop, calm down, and begin to look towards the future with a more positive and productive outlook. I don't think the phrase is meant to be used as some kind of law of nature or advice to be taken and analyzed for what it is literally.