Determining Sexual Orientation.

[Skoffin]

Eh, the crushes part wasn't the sole thing. I've never felt any kind of attraction to a woman, period.

 

[slant]

that comment wasn't really directed towards you, you just inspired it.

 

[Trifoilum]

Gender orientation + target of your emotional feelings + target of your physical desire / lust = Sexual orientation.

That being said, Raccoon, I got a feeling you're punishing yourself / seeking validation of "you MAY NOT be gay! YOU CAN STILL CHANGE!"

I won't guess nor judge, but you know yourself best. Just be honest.

 

[Satya]

Just because at an early age you had crushes on persons doesn't make your orientation a certain way...

I can't agree more. I had so many girl crushes in elementary school. I even had a "girlfriend" in 6th grade. I genuinely thought I was straight or bi until college, and even tried dating girls my freshman year. It can take years to determine your sexual orientation and usually you can only garner it from your experience.

 

[Peppermint]

How does on determine his or her sexual orientation exactly? Do you believe we can't really determine our sexual orientation till we experiment? Is it all mere physical attraction? To what extent does emotional fulfillment determine ones sexual orientation?

So in your opinion, how do we define our sexual identity clearly? Or is it all vague and really sexual orientation does not exist..

I think sexual orientation can be a really tricky thing to define. Especially if you consider that it is possible that two distinct orientations are involved: sexual AND affectional.

Affectional orientation is an alternative term for sexual orientation. Those people who prefer to argue that one's orientation is not limited to sexuality. To holders of this view, one's orientation is defined by whom one is predisposed to fall in love with, sexual attraction being only a part of a larger dynamic.
The term is also used by some who consider themselves asexual and only feel emotional attraction to describe the gender or genders they are romantically attracted to. The terms used for different affectional orientations are typically the same as are used for sexual orientations: homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual.

Problem being that for a vast majority of people sexual and romantic attraction are inseparable. For me, there has always been a clear distinction between the two, perhaps due to me being an asexual (with an affectual orientation) and not having experienced both so my perception on the matter differs from that of the majority of people. My rationale is, if one can feel sexually attracted to someone without any emotional involvement, why couldn't the opposite also be possible? There is also scientific evidence that suggest that affectional bonding and sexual attraction are different and have evolved from different things.


It's rather different than the traditional concept of sexuality, and admittedly makes thing more complicated (I know of one woman who had a romantic attraction to other females, but a sexual attraction to males), but also adds more shades and variety to human sexuality.


As to your specific issue, I don't think experimentation is necessary. You've surely been exposed to external stimuli regarding both gender which allows you to determine whether or not you've had a response to it. Defining ones sexual orientation with utmost precision in my opinion isn't really much of a pressing issue (partly because it is rather vague from a theoretical pov as it is). Just go with what feels the most natural to you.

 

[slant]

I can't agree more. I had so many girl crushes in elementary school. I even had a "girlfriend" in 6th grade. I genuinely thought I was straight or bi until college, and even tried dating girls my freshman year. It can take years to determine your sexual orientation and usually you can only garner it from your experience.

Man I'm glad I'm not the only one I actually felt pretty weird about that.