Depressed on weekends??

CaityCatherine

CaityCatherine

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I am an INFJ. I know I am, even though I would really like to just be an extrovert, or at the very least an INFP.

But.

I am so confused about one thing: On the weekends, when I have pretty much no schedule and no interaction with anyone except for my kids and hubby, I get kind of depressed.

It's like I need to have the social interaction school and work provide.

But maybe it's actually the structure that I need? So if I were to make a schedule for myself I would find this to not be a problem?

I just want to know the thoughts of others.

And now to bed... :m050:
 
I definitely get this feeling too if I spend too much time at home over the weekend, but I'm an extrovert (fyi I'm not actually estp like I put there lol). I find it helps to at least go out for an adventure on your own or talk to some friends over the phone if you aren't able to schedule time to spend with others beforehand. Or if I'm really busy and have a lot of homework to do and can't hang out, I do my homework out at a coffee shop and talk to the employees or people around me, or usually bump into someone I know and study with them, but that might be a lot to ask for an introvert.

Why is it that you'd prefer to be an extrovert or an INFP? If you were an extrovert you'd feel even more lonely during alone hours! And INFJs are the raddest!
 
I have no problem with being alone on down time. In fact, I often think of building a cabin in the woods just to get away from people. I would even follow through with it if it wasn't for the fact that it would cost money, I'm terrible at DIY, I can't hunt, I can't fish, I dislike the cold, I need technology and I have a terrible sense of direction.
 
CaityCatherine said:
On the weekends, when I have pretty much no schedule and no interaction with anyone except for my kids and hubby
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precisely this is what makes me happy – no need to see anyone else.

I never had that problem even when I was 100% alone. It felt just fine.
 
Some part of you is not being stimulated. You gotta find what that is. Most likely you need an outlet of expression or some form of creative work. It does not necessarily have to be social interaction; if you find a hobby or activity and go share it in a club or group of people that will automatically bring in the social factor for you. You just have to find what that is. It could be something you just do once a week with other people; like dance classes, writing poetry, painting, all types of crafts, helping out at a shelter, challenging new study of course, etc...
 
CaityCatherine said:
I am an INFJ. I know I am, even though I would really like to just be an extrovert, or at the very least an INFP.

But.

I am so confused about one thing: On the weekends, when I have pretty much no schedule and no interaction with anyone except for my kids and hubby, I get kind of depressed.

It's like I need to have the social interaction school and work provide.

But maybe it's actually the structure that I need? So if I were to make a schedule for myself I would find this to not be a problem?

I just want to know the thoughts of others.

And now to bed... :m050:
Click to expand...

Out of curiosity, which group provides the greater need with less demand -- your family or your friends/colleagues at school/work?

When people close to me come to expect or demand of me, I am turned off/away from them. When people indirectly present a need that I can help fulfill for them, then I am happy to do it. If that makes any sense?
 
Schedules can be good. My work week usually feels more productive, which for me is a mood lifter. More work done = more accomplished.

Though I'm not one to schedule things, I do try and think about the weekend in advance so I wake up on Saturday with a plan in mind. Errands, outings, etc. I usually come up with something to do outside of home, even if it's on the spot.

At it's best: home is for sleep, sex, and storage of things.
 
I'm wondering if when you are with your family they expect you to give....to them. When you are in other environments with a schedule you are part of team and each person gives what they can to make it work well.

I've seen a lot of INFJs be Givers and surrounded by Takers....myself included once upon a time.

Perhaps you are giving of your self but not getting recharged from any members of your family?
 
I can't imagine being anything but relieved to be alone.

Perhaps you have a mild depressed streak, but when you're at work you're too busy to notice it. Ie. maybe on weekends you just have enough time and space to notice how you are feeling?

?
 
The question about who is demanding more from me is a good one...and really, it is my family who demand more. I don't get a moment alone all weekend, and I don't get to do the work that I love to do like I do on the weekdays. This weekend I demanded getting work done, despite kids who whined about it, and I definitely feel more energized and less depressed. I think this might be it. My kids are at the age when they want to do things with me, and I understand, but in the end it just makes me crabby and depressed when I look back on the day and there was no order or productivity at all.

I do struggle with depression, and I think that could be part of it, as suggested, too. I am very busy at school and work, but when I sit down at night and on the weekends I realize how drained I am.

And I AM surrounded by a lot of Takers. My husband actually tells me to stop giving all of the time. But he gets critical of me about it, too, which doesn't help at all...just makes everything worse...
 
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I used to be really depressed over weekends. There was a time where I wouldn't leave the house at all, I'd even go so far as to make up excuses to not go into school.
I closed myself off from a lot of people and I was not happy, but I think that was because of the overall environment I was part of, and several internal family issues going on at that time.
However, since I started college, I have gone out and enjoyed myself. Whether that is with my boyfriend or my friends or both. It's great, I feel like a brand new person to what I used to feel.
Maybe you need some sort of structure. Grab a diary, a journal, anything. I write little things that float around in my head into a journal so that they don't bother me, then go out and do something :) grab a diary, organise a coffee morning with your friends, go rock climbing, do fun things :D
 
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