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Cross Cultural Experiences

i can absolutely relate to your post... having to learn how to make sense and live with three different cultures... coincidentally, my parents are of that era too and i've always felt that i only got 'half' the story from them... they kept a lot of secrets from my sister and i about the old country. and i can't say i blame them... they did what they could to survive and they will keep their secrets... i hope that makes sense :/

my parents were totally either unprepared and/or in denial to my racial identity... i seriously doubt they had any conversations regarding this... lol... i remember asking my parents what i was in kindergarten and they both said 'white'... i think that was the day i realized that my parents didn't really know everything because obviously my mom was brown...

Wow. This is very interesting.

I think it would be very different if you grew up in the time and place I did. But even then, most all of the other half asian people I know around here who have grown up in north america have been sheltered from the asian side. Even some of the completely asian kids I know have been somewhat kept from learning their parents' language in order to better assimilate them into the eurocentric culture here. But they end up getting fucked over. I wrote a blog entry on this for my English class last year:

[h=1]Employment Complications in Richmond: Part 1[/h]“If you can only speak one language, English, in Richmond, basically you are half-garbage. Even waiters and waitresses can use English, Cantonese, and Mandarin. This is a basic skill for survival for when you live here. If you’re an Oriental-looking person, it’s worse. At least if you’re a white person, you have an excuse.”

My mother is a critical person, but she keeps it real. I love her.
This conversation was sparked at the dinner table tonight, over a meal of various pescatarian dishes, boiled choy sum, and stewed pig’s feet.
At my mother’s workplace (she’s an insurance broker), seven people had quit in the span of two months, she’d explained. They had hired a bunch of new people as replacements, two of whom were Chinese-Filipino, yet could speak neither Chinese nor Tagalog.
My immediate response?
“Wow, that’s just useless.”
And, I added, almost misleading. If someone is Chinese and Filipino, especially in Richmond, it would make perfect sense that they would be able to speak Chinese and Filipino. And that preconception would be a major reason that employers would hire them. That was certainly my preconception, and I was fooled. Of course, if they did not specify that they were proficient in these languages on their résumés, then it wouldn’t actually be considered misleading and it would be court-worthy for an employer to have assumed so. But the fact that I, and most certainly many others living here, would hold this preconception, holds much significance in the lives of employment-aged Asian-Canadian Richmondites.
It can be difficult for people who were born here in Canada to look for jobs in Richmond for this reason. A large amount of goods and service establishments in Richmond are Asian-run and expect to mostly cater to, and to be staffed by, Richmond and Vancouver’s Asian community. A large part of this community is more comfortable conversing in their native non-English language, and so it would be most pragmatic for companies to look for people who are competent in these Asian languages to work for them. It’s not always a spoken or written requirement on job postings, but it exists here as an unspoken judgment of a person’s value.
Not having taught your children your native language(s) will have created a major disadvantage for them in Richmond. This is counterintuitive to what many parents may have expected for their children that were growing up in a North American locale. The parents may have personally experienced difficulty in integrating into a predominantly North American culture (and it was a predominantly North American area and culture here during when our parents’ generation was in their prime years—but no longer!)—and in deciding to not teach their children languages other than English, they may have thought that it would be easier for them to integrate into the culture and that they would be giving their offspring a fighting chance. Their very reasonable-sounding rationale would be that their kids would be able to learn English faster and better this way, and therefore do better in school and afterwards, better in life. A decade or two later into their children’s lives, parents and children alike would come to the realization, painfully, shamefully, through awkward encounters with family friends, peers, interviewers, and long-unseen relatives that were all overachievers that knew multiple languages and would look down on you for not having learned your native tongue, that this has simply not turned out to be the case.
Shame is in being awkwardly denied face-to-face interviews by countless managers after suffering through phone conversations with them in which you force out what broken Chinese you know after wracking your brain; it’s in indcredulous looks from lost strangers asking for directions in the only language that they know when you are unable to answer them while clearly looking like you should be; and it’s in people of your own ethnicity clear-as-day gossiping about you in front of your face while you are unable to understand what they are saying and are helpless to intervene. Before you know it, your life is a recreation of a scene in Mulan—you have dishonahh your famirry!
mulan+defends+father.jpg

“Darn it, I can’t believe that God-awful CBC accent that Mulan is talking to Uncle Chen with.”*
After all is said and done though, it’s probably really not as big a deal as I’m making it out to be. We still live in Canada, and tons of Asian-Canadians and Canadians of other “minority” groups who aren’t proficient in their associated languages are very successful people who don’t give off the impression that they’ve “missed out” on any opportunities. In fact, it seems to be the case that many have worked extra hard on other aspects of their lives and have developed themselves in other spheres to make up for it. They are comfortable and confident in knowing that they know the extent that they know or are connected to the extent that they are to the Asian-related community and opportunities in Richmond and Vancouver. They know that they are still, quite obviously, fully capable individuals. And so at the same time it seems that it might in fact have been a better thing that they did not concern themselves so much with ties to the Asian community here.
And this concept is the predecessor to Part 2 of this post…
To be continued…

*CBC = Canadian-Born Chinese
Image Source: http://sweethingsonearth.blogspot.ca/2011/12/mulans-crowning-glory.html
 
cher sums up my biracial childhood experience pretty well *warning: gratuitous cher posting*
[video=youtube;0NZbkuPi2_Y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NZbkuPi2_Y[/video]
Ugh. The totem pole depicted at the beginning is from the Pacific Northwest and the ridiculous outfit she is modeling is a disgusting replica of plains tribal symbolism(headdress normally reserved for warriors with each feather representing an honor achieved) with the horse coming into the picture only after Spanish contact. I hate this kind of over the top "indian" ness that is portrayed over and over again. Cross cultural experiences? Everyday. Part of it is bothersome, like this video where stuff that is culturally relevant is so blatantly appropriated without regard or respect, with the most part just being a "shift" in perspective to step outside my beliefs and norms....a translation of sorts that allows me to blend into society without having to go through tedious explanations on how come what you just said/did/touched was against some kind of belief/tradition/norm. It isn't like everything is different, but lots of things are. Like how I see family and the connection I feel toward my tribe and such. I would say, my priorities and such. It is hard to explain, I don't foist the responsibility of requiring Others to understand my cultural view and irl, I rarely point of such things as this video. I figure for the most part, it's not my job to teach someone to have understanding of my ways, they need to find their own value in understanding Others, I can't give that to them.
 
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Wow. This is very interesting.

I think it would be very different if you grew up in the time and place I did. But even then, most all of the other half asian people I know around here who have grown up in north america have been sheltered from the asian side. Even some of the completely asian kids I know have been somewhat kept from learning their parents' language in order to better assimilate them into the eurocentric culture here. But they end up getting fucked over. I wrote a blog entry on this for my English class last year:

that's an interesting entry... if i could do it all over again i would have taken more of an effort to learn both of my parent’s native languages... had i known that it would have given my a certain type of job security i (and my parents) would have thought twice about it... lol... but those are things you don’t really think about when your mom is yelling out to you in the second grade in her native language in front of your classmates and all you want to do is fit in :)
[MENTION=3096]HeartLess[/MENTION] i posted the video because i felt the lyrics and attitude summed up my biracial experience of feeling that i don't belonging to either culture... yes the video/cher is over the top, but when i watch it i see the beauty of the culture she is trying to represent albeit poorly...
 
[MENTION=4459]Sensiko[/MENTION] I can tell your situation is totally different than mine. I would point out that I didn't find any beauty in the video you posted but extreme distaste for the cultural icons she so casually used which showed a tremendous amount of disrespect to the People she appropriated them from. Yea, I don't know why the language thingy is supposed to mean you know your culture. Many small tribes lost their languages early on as trade tongues, then English became widespread. For example, the Quinault's don't really have a language, the last know dialect spoken was called the Chinook Jargon and it was a bastardization of native dialects (several different but linguistically Salish tongues) pidgin English and French and it was used for trade. Eventually, even the Chinook Jargon went away, yet, my tribe isn't defunct because colonization robbed us of our language. But basically, most Natives I know don't consider their non-Native blood as very important (like when people ask me what the other 1/4 blood I am I usually say unimportant) and most Natives would consider the term "half-breed" as an insult with the same caliber of disrespect as a black person would the n-word. Also the word squaw is thought to be a bastardization of the French word for savage and is equally reviled by most Native women and considered insulting/degrading.
 
[MENTION=4459]Sensiko[/MENTION] I can tell your situation is totally different than mine. I would point out that I didn't find any beauty in the video you posted but extreme distaste for the cultural icons she so casually used which showed a tremendous amount of disrespect to the People she appropriated them from. Yea, I don't know why the language thingy is supposed to mean you know your culture. Many small tribes lost their languages early on as trade tongues, then English became widespread. For example, the Quinault's don't really have a language, the last know dialect spoken was called the Chinook Jargon and it was a bastardization of native dialects (several different but linguistically Salish tongues) pidgin English and French and it was used for trade. Eventually, even the Chinook Jargon went away, yet, my tribe isn't defunct because colonization robbed us of our language. But basically, most Natives I know don't consider their non-Native blood as very important (like when people ask me what the other 1/4 blood I am I usually say unimportant) and most Natives would consider the term "half-breed" as an insult with the same caliber of disrespect as a black person would the n-word. Also the word squaw is thought to be a bastardization of the French word for savage and is equally reviled by most Native women and considered insulting/degrading.

i wouldn't assume our situations or perceptions are similar by any stretch... i saw the video as her taking ownership of the shit that both cultures gave her... and that attitude is where i found beauty and i saw her costume is an extension of that... but i can also understand how you would feel her portrayal is disrespectful... would you like me to take the video down?
 
i wouldn't assume our situations or perceptions are similar by any stretch... i saw the video as her taking ownership of the shit that both cultures gave her... and that attitude is where i found beauty and i saw her costume is an extension of that... but i can also understand how you would feel her portrayal is disrespectful... would you like me to take the video down?
I don't think I made any assumptions about you or insinuated that they are similar. I did use the term "most" in reference to Natives and considering I work with about 1000 Natives from across the United States on a regular basis (for over 10 years), I would say that I'm not presuming when I made my comments about the terms half-breed and squaw. My comments are not a criticism against you, they are a reflection of my cultural experience. I'm sorry if they have made you uncomfortable.
 
i can absolutely relate to your post... having to learn how to make sense and live with three different cultures... coincidentally, my parents are of that era too and i've always felt that i only got 'half' the story from them... they kept a lot of secrets from my sister and i about the old country. and i can't say i blame them... they did what they could to survive and they will keep their secrets... i hope that makes sense :/

my parents were totally either unprepared and/or in denial to my racial identity... i seriously doubt they had any conversations regarding this... lol... i remember asking my parents what i was in kindergarten and they both said 'white'... i think that was the day i realized that my parents didn't really know everything because obviously my mom was brown...

I think my folks lived in an era or were from a culture that didn't feel comfortable putting personal feelings out in the open like we do today. I have a lot of respect for my folks because they had the courage to go against everything in their lives to be in a mixed race marriage. That is not saying they were just wonderful parents that didn't screw a lot of shit up okay, BUT, it really took some courage and strength to go against the norm like they did. As a child witnessing my parents go through that kind of prejudice and judgement mirrored to me the attributes of strength and courage. Today, a lot of folks look at mixed race marriages as not a big deal, but I remember my folks and me dealing with a lot of prejudice not only from society, but from inside our own family as well.
 
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I don't think I made any assumptions about you or insinuated that they are similar. I did use the term "most" in reference to Natives and considering I work with about 1000 Natives from across the United States on a regular basis (for over 10 years), I would say that I'm not presuming when I made my comments about the terms half-breed and squaw. My comments are not a criticism against you, they are a reflection of my cultural experience. I'm sorry if they have made you uncomfortable.

no worries, you didn’t make me feel uncomfortable... i didn’t want to post something that was offensive... that wasn’t my intention :peace:
 
I remember kids in elementary school calling me a half breed. First, I didn't even know what it meant. Second, when I found out what it meant I thought to myself, am I part American Indian (which I'm not). When I came home and told my father what the kids in school were calling me he said, "that's a great thing to be called, half breeds are very special people, you can tell because there are so few of them. Those kids are just jealous because you get the best of both worlds." Then he told me these wonderful stories about my cultural heritage. Gee wiz, my father was a master at instilling cultural pride in a kid.
 
I remember kids in elementary school calling me a half breed. First, I didn't even know what it meant. Second, when I found out what it meant I thought to myself, am I part American Indian (which I'm not). When I came home and told my father what the kids in school were calling me he said, "that's a great thing to be called, half breeds are very special people, you can tell because there are so few of them. Those kids are just jealous because you get the best of both worlds." Then he told me these wonderful stories about my cultural heritage. Gee wiz, my father was a master at instilling cultural pride in a kid.

sounds more appealing than Rice Cracker HAHA
 
sounds more appealing than Rice Cracker HAHA

I just got that (duh). I was thinking, why is she talking about rice crackers????? Yeah, there's no end to how creative people can get when it comes to prejudice. I've known people that adopted a sort of reverse prejudice. After being on the receiving end of my fair share of it, I actually adopted that view at one time in my life, but in the end, it really doesn't matter what side of prejudice people are on (giving or receiving) everybody is hurt by it.
 
I just got that (duh). I was thinking, why is she talking about rice crackers????? Yeah, there's no end to how creative people can get when it comes to prejudice. I've known people that adopted a sort of reverse prejudice. After being on the receiving end of my fair share of it, I actually adopted that view at one time in my life, but in the end, it really doesn't matter what side of prejudice people are on (giving or receiving) everybody is hurt by it.
I didn't think much could shock me about prejudice until I heard the Oklahoma term "Prarie Ni***r" used to describe Indians round these parts.
 
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I didn't think much could shock me about prejudice until I heard the Oklahoma term "Prarie Ni***r" used to describe Indians round these parts.

That just shocked me.... and I have experienced a lot of shit myself. Wow. What a bunch of scumbags.
 
1. What are your cross cultural experiences? Are you living in a different culture than your home culture? Do you have friends from different cultures? Are you from a multicultural family? Do you speak different languages? Are you raising your children in a different culture than your home culture? How do you feel about your multicultural experiences? What are the positives and negatives for you? What are your thoughts about cross cultural experiences?

I'm half Latina (Puerto Rican) and half Causcasian (Italian-Irish-German mix). Grew up in an Italian-American Roman Catholic household and learned Italian at 8. My first language is Spanish, second is English, and I learned them both at similar times. I also tried to learn Dutch for my ex-boyfriend. I have friends from all different cultures and I love it that way. Being multi-ethnic helps me relate to other people from other cultures. I grew up in NYC so I've been exposed to many cultures out here. I also lived in the mid-west for a couple of years so I've experienced the Cherokee lifestyle (my mom's ex-fiance was almost full Cherokee).

I can't imagine NOT teaching my children where they come from and about their ancestors. My 'cultures' are ingrained in me and it's important to me to teach my kids all the traditions I experienced growing up. I cannot imagine myself being with a partner who did not embrace their background as well - the thought of that is just odd to me. I come from the mecca of the melting pot.... almost all the immigrants I know embrace their culture in some way and have taught me something about it. I guess this is the positive... it's a learning experience. I've had a Nigerian friend who gave me one of her scarves from her country to wear and I use it for my tarot cards (I sometimes do readings for her). My mom's ex-fiance (Cherokee man)'s grandfather made me a dream catcher when I little because I was having severe nightmares and I've cherished it ever since. I've had a Mexican friend that brought me a rosary for Dia de los Muertos (Day of the dead- also celebrated in PR). There have been countless other things that my friends or family members have gifted me that were of other cultures that I've learned about.

I think the negative is the prejudice/racism that I've experienced in my life because of my skin color or how I look.. or just witnessing the shit other people go through because of who they are. Another negative is not knowing the line of what is offensive and what is appropriate. I had a Pakistani friend who asked me to come to mosque with her. I felt so awkward and a part of me was torn about it. I wanted to go to experience something new but I did not want to offend the other Muslims there. I politely declined despite her trying to assure me that it was okay. Instead, she did some Henna on me and showed me how to make "Yakhni pulao". I fell in love with Basmati rice soon after. I figure that it is only appropriate if 1. It is gifted to me 2. It is food. Other than that, I tread lightly.
 
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One thing that frustrates me is when some (always white or otherwise from the dominant group in a racially homogenous society) people say things like "I don't ever consider race in my daily life" or "I don't see why some people take it so seriously, race isn't even real"... I mean on one hand that is a nice, "progressive" attitude to have and some people do go overboard with being bitter about their experiences, but to say such things is like telling other people that their experiences didn't exist and that it isn't a serious social malady which has an effect upon people's lives. If race is something you don't need to consider, it's not because you have transcended being offended, it's because you are one of the lucky ones.
 
One thing that frustrates me is when some (always white or otherwise from the dominant group in a racially homogenous society) people say things like "I don't ever consider race in my daily life" or "I don't see why some people take it so seriously, race isn't even real"... I mean on one hand that is a nice, "progressive" attitude to have and some people do go overboard with being bitter about their experiences, but to say such things is like telling other people that their experiences didn't exist and that it isn't a serious social malady which has an effect upon people's lives. If race is something you don't need to consider, it's not because you have transcended being offended, it's because you are one of the lucky ones.

I agree... but....

I don't necessary see it as them being the lucky ones or that thought being progressive. Equality amongst differences is progressive --- but denying that other cultures exist is regressive. I see it as them being ignorant and completely denying that other cultural experiences exist. In my personal opinion, I think it's sad.

It's like, okay great... if you don't own your culture then don't. But... don't be ignorant and say that you don't understand why other people put so much emphasize on theirs. That is just dumb.
 
I think prejudice is a really personal experience. I've found people choose so many different ways to deal with it. Some choose to deny it's existence, others get angry, some ignore it, some don't want to get involved, some carry on prejudicial traditions, some fight it, and there seems to be a host of other approaches I've seen, heard about, and experienced myself. Prejudice is a really tough thing to deal with and it's an issue a lot of people are uncomfortable discussing. I have yet to find the "best" way to handle prejudice.

Not too long ago I watched an interesting documentary about a journalist who interviewed a former KKK member. The interview didn't happen until later in both of these mens lives when they were no longer full of hate. After decades of being on opposing racial sides they ended up creating this remarkable documentary about breaking down prejudicial views. I wish I could remember the name of that documentary, it was fascinating.
 
I think the hardest thing is the insidious nature of prejudice. Like going into a store, picking out three/four things and going to the checkout lane and having the clerk ask you "do you have anything at the bottom of your cart!" in an accusing tone. Me saying "why would I?" with my very best winter voice. The obvious assumption being that as brown skinned, dark haired, dark eyed woman I would try to steal stuff by not putting it on the belt and hiding it under my cart. Just to make that young bitchy white girl nervous, I watched her quietly during her next transaction while she greeted the white couple nicely and began to check them out, not once glancing (they had a mirror there) to see if there was anything at the bottom of their cart or asking them as she did me. She noticed me looking at her after a moment and then made this really exaggerated look to try and see under their cart with the mirror. If I hadn't been there, she wouldn't have done that. That happened last week. I think that every drug dealer should use older white women and men to smuggle their drugs across the country, the odds of them being pulled over, looked at askance, or bothered in any state of the union are slim to none. Outfit that motor home with the capacity to haul a couple pounds of the good stuff and send grandma and grandpa Smith all over the US!
 
It is insidious. I'm not sure people who have not had that kind of subtle prejudice directed at them even notice or recognize it. Personally, I feel covert prejudice is a lot more common than people think or want to admit. I think the part of the US or the country you live in has a lot to do with it also. I've noticed some places are more racially segregated than others and involve different groups as well. I'm not sure a place exists that is immune to prejudice. This is actually an interesting albeit unattractive aspect of society.

Part of my childhood was spent growing up in an area that had racial gangs. There was no avoiding it, you had to choose a side, and if you didn't choose the "right" side people in the community helped you make that choice, and they weren't nice about it. As a kid with parents from different countries, cultures, and racial groups, which side was I supposed to choose?? My folks moved away from there when I was still young and this had an interesting affect on our family. By the time we moved my older siblings were already grown and were completely assimilated into White culture, but myself and younger siblings were able to have more of a choice about which social group(s) we associated with. As a result, the younger children of my parents had more culturally diverse relationships. It's interesting how our early cultural experiences shape our life and relationship choices. I'm not saying this rings true in every case, but it certainly did in mine.