Creepy Vibes

I have an ex-internet friend who I ended up exchanging many phone calls, texts e-mails and even gifts with for about two years. Eventually she creeped me out. I can't put my finger on what the exact moment was. It was cumulative. She used to rage a lot on the phone (about trivialities), and this creeped me out. So yeah, raging is creepy. The final straw was when she texted me a strangely phrased suicide threat after a normal text exchange in which I informed her I couldn't be on the phone because I had to study for a final. The suicide threat was weird and creepy, but it was when I realized I only had a PO box for her, no address as I considered calling EMS on her that I felt really creeped out. And she has my address and I am quite sure is following me on various social media and other message boards. I get a bad feeling that she could show up on my doorstep one day.
 
PintoBean said:
I have an ex-internet friend who I ended up exchanging many phone calls, texts e-mails and even gifts with for about two years. Eventually she creeped me out. I can't put my finger on what the exact moment was. It was cumulative. She used to rage a lot on the phone (about trivialities), and this creeped me out. So yeah, raging is creepy. The final straw was when she texted me a strangely phrased suicide threat after a normal text exchange in which I informed her I couldn't be on the phone because I had to study for a final. The suicide threat was weird and creepy, but it was when I realized I only had a PO box for her, no address as I considered calling EMS on her that I felt really creeped out. And she has my address and I am quite sure is following me on various social media and other message boards. I get a bad feeling that she could show up on my doorstep one day.
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How dare you discuss this here?

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This will not be forgotten.
 
When someone is too self-deprecating, and too nice in a pushy way, I start getting uneasy... but there's more to it than just that. I have had a couple of female stalkers, and initially it felt like every little interaction was a little ensnaring.
 
On the other hand, I think we've all gotten a bit too squeamish about creepyness. Social media and the internet makes it easy for us all to connect, but at such a superficial level. We seemed to get creeped out by anything non-superficial these days. I think many an INFJ has probably been mistaken for creepy merely for being intense and not wanting to be superficial. Since movies like Fatal Attraction, people are kind of unduly focused on dangerous creeps. Probably most people we deem as "creeps" are actually just emotionally needy, a fault I am no doubt guilty of at times myself. Needy can be inappropriate, but usually not boil your bunny dangerous.
 
PintoBean said:
I have an ex-internet friend ....And she has my address and I am quite sure is following me on various social media and other message boards. I get a bad feeling that she could show up on my doorstep one day.
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Block her on every social media site you can!
Make sure you are on a friendly basis with some of your neighbors, or save the number of a friend who lives nearby so you have someone to ask for help if she does ever show up. (She will probably never show up, but it will make you feel safer.)

In person, I can tell before the person even speaks. It is a vibe. Body language, posture, movements and when they speak the phrasing and tone they use set off alarms. It is really easy for me to decipher whether someone is harmless and odd, or a creep IRL.
This could be any kind of creep: sexual predator, thief, bully, scammer, someone out to be hurtful for entertainment.... etc.

People who are too pushy with attention, gifts and compliments, but with a threatening vibe, not because they are just "nice". Either they are using the gifts as a trojan horse of sorts, or they are trying to bribe you to give them attention, and if you reject them they turn threatening.

Online it is a little harder, which is why I am not as open as I could be, despite wanting to be friendly and inclusive with everyone.

A lot of creeps reach out and try to be friends, but the moment they find out you are not interested or available, they become hostile. The hostility can be masked in humor, like they are still trying to be "pseudo-friendly", but it is still there. Sometimes it is pure hostility, too.
Sometimes this feels dangerous, other times it seems like a protective shell they are putting up around themselves to keep from being hurt over rejection.... either way, they're jerks, and I stay away.

With stalkers: I had two stalkers when younger, both of whom had a feverish attachment to me right away. You can see it in their eyes - like a dog watching a squirrel. That is when you need to back away, and fast.
 
PintoBean said:
On the other hand, I think we've all gotten a bit too squeamish about creepyness. Social media and the internet makes it easy for us all to connect, but at such a superficial level. We seemed to get creeped out by anything non-superficial these days. I think many an INFJ has probably been mistaken for creepy merely for being intense and not wanting to be superficial. Since movies like Fatal Attraction, people are kind of unduly focused on dangerous creeps. Probably most people we deem as "creeps" are actually just emotionally needy, a fault I am no doubt guilty of at times myself. Needy can be inappropriate, but usually not boil your bunny dangerous.
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Emotionally needy people can be vampires, pests, or just people who need a little boost/support imo. Creeps are control needy; they need to secure something from you, whether you are cooperating, or not... but then there are good/motivational controllers, like a personal trainer, who will bug you to work out.
 
*is probably one of those creeps that has been described*

*maybe*

*leaves*
 
Flavus Aquila said:
When someone is too self-deprecating, and too nice in a pushy way, I start getting uneasy... but there's more to it than just that. I have had a couple of female stalkers, and initially it felt like every little interaction was a little ensnaring.
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Yes. Your intuition...your intuitive knowing...was picking up on their hidden desires....which were not in alignment with your own.

People creep us out whenever we don't align energetically....and you can "feel" it.... the lying and deception. INFJs are known for being able to tell when someone is lying.
 
ruji said:
Everybody has been a creep at some point whether they want to admit it (or even know it)
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But there is a difference between being awkward, and intending to use, harm or gain something from someone.
 
There is a difference between being a creep and acting creepy, I think.

I rarely classify a person as a creep unless that person repeatedly displays creepy behavior, despite clear cues and requests to stop.

Creepy behavior I dislike includes, but is not limited to: standing too close, smelling my hair, unwarranted touching, as [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] said - taking my photo without permission, referencing sexual exploits, staring at certain body parts, and generally overstepping boundaries of polite interaction.
 
a lot of it is in the eyes. and like [MENTION=2578]Kgal[/MENTION] said, it just doesn't align. it doesn't say "i mean no harm," it says malice
 
ruji said:
ADMIT IT ASA

I remember your avatar from before C:
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Hahahahahahahaha! Yes, yes, you got me.
It was the size of the photo that was creepier than the actual image. That thing was HUGE!
 
Scientia said:
staring at certain body parts
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I probably have stared at many things, but not with some sexual urge. Anything that is new or out of the ordinary would have my INTP brain thinking about it. I have since learned to stopped doing that.

I recall once some dude on the bus very creepily standing over some girl who was sitting down, and staring directly down her cleavage. It was obvious to pretty much everyone.
 
[video=youtube;neS5OzDzZKg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neS5OzDzZKg&nohtml5=False[/video]

[video=youtube;8H8S4ITNbW8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H8S4ITNbW8&nohtml5=False[/video]
 
Scientia said:
There is a difference between being a creep and acting creepy, I think.

I rarely classify a person as a creep unless that person repeatedly displays creepy behavior, despite clear cues and requests to stop.

Creepy behavior I dislike includes, but is not limited to: standing too close, smelling my hair, unwarranted touching, as [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] said - taking my photo without permission, referencing sexual exploits, staring at certain body parts, and generally overstepping boundaries of polite interaction.
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Another part of the picture: Indifference, or oblivious-ness to personal boundaries.

People who are aware of boundaries, but impatiently chip away at them, and cross them are creepy.
 
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