Christmas parties... the ugly truth | INFJ Forum

Christmas parties... the ugly truth


On Holiday
Aug 14, 2009
I hate "holiday" parties.
Hate them.
Absolutely hate, loathe, and despise them.

I just survived a Christmas party with a bunch of overpriviledged, drunk and reaaaaaly loud extroverts, and I somehow managed to offend the Queen "E" by not getting as drunk as she was or saying "Fuck" enough. (At least, that's what I think I did...)

How do you offend somebody by not saying Fuck?!?!?! I was actually trying really, really hard to be nice, wanted to impress these people, and had gone to considerable effort to find a great outfit, and to learn about everyone ahead of time, and put on my best social face. I started hyperventilating in the stupid car before the stupid party, but managed to calm my stupid self down, walked in and things seemed to be going well. Got introduced to everybody, made small talk, etc.

After a few glasses of wine, Queen E started hollering things like "Fuckity Fuck Fucking....blah blah blah blah fuck!" as loud as she could. And I just kind of giggled. Apparently I must've giggled in a disapproving manner. I left for a moment, walked back in and Queen E, who was at least two sheets to the wind, was whispering behind her hands, and abruptly stopped and looked at me guiltily when I walked up. Turns out she thought I was disapproving of her language, and felt as if I was trying to "punish' her for coarse language, and she decided to make fun of me for this, and more or less belittle me for being "conservative". (I think she thought that meant "sober, mostly") So, of course, me being me, I got my feelings hurt, and more or less clammed up. Actually, I barely managed to get out of there without bursting into tears. (I did escape, though.) Everything I tried to do at this stupid party failed miserably, because without really doing anything, I managed to make these people dislike me.

Fuck. I hate Christmas parties. I think I hate people.
you don't hate Christmas parties... you just hate Christmas parties with the loud fucking extroverts and Queen E :) :)

ahahahahah oh i hate those people too

don't worry HUG!!!!!!!!!
I wish people with the same emotions who are sensitive to each other just live together..

i hate it when other people are that insensitive!!!


Overuse of four letter words indicates a general inability to articulate and a limited vocabulary. Drunkenness further impedes communication and cognition. Thus, a drunk is either stupid or likes to appear stupid.
Thankfully I only have one party to go to before Christmas!
There will be about 3 Queen E's there but I will try to avoid them by sticking with the men who will be playing darts, shuffleboard and pool.
I will share my stories next week.
Funny how these Queen E's act the same. Mine will also be extremely drunk, dancing with each other and swearing up a storm. Usually they don't remember a thing.
I just survived a Christmas party with a bunch of overpriviledged, drunk and reaaaaaly loud extroverts, and I somehow managed to offend the Queen "E" by not getting as drunk as she was or saying "Fuck" enough. (At least, that's what I think I did...)
Where's your Christmas spirit? (I think some people take the spirits part a bit too literally.)

That party would be a nightmare for me as well. I'm finding Christmas to be a bit burdensome this year. Even buying inexpensive presents, it is going to add up. I feel equally bad for the people I know spending money and time to send presents here. People get tired and depressed in the winter months and are trying to pay for heating or just needing a break.
you all go to strange parties. why dont you go to a normal christmas party instead?
It does suck, considering that you had to put every fibre of effort into it by just being there, yet they still don't understand or appreciate that.
I know what you mean, I wouldn't feel very comfortable in such an environment. While I don't mind extroverts or Christmas parties, I hate people who make drama out of the tiniest issues and I have a real problem with people who use "fuck" in every sentence. It makes them seem a lot less intelligent and classy in my eyes, and I think that the people who do this actually do realize that they're not making a very positive impression on some people. So they'll get offended or defensive that someone is or might be judging them for their crass behavior. And its most likely the person who isn't exploring the unique, grammatical dynamics of the word "fuck" who is suspect of such judgment (and rightly so, sometimes).

I applaud you for choosing not to emulate their behaviour, especially if you do not agree with it.
Really sorry that had to happen. You obviously put a lot of effort into trying to make this a good experience. Please remeber SHE is the one with the problem, not you. I have been in similar situations in the past. They get a little easier to handle as you get older--its always uncomfortable though.

This Queen "E" is probably pretty and used to being the center of attention. She has never had to really develop her personality, since most (stupid) guys will pay attention and desire her no matter how badly she acts. As a man I love to ignore these types, as it drives them crazy--even though she would probably treat me with indifference if I paid attention to her.

The best advice I could give you here is to try and have fun away from this type of person. Ignore them as best as you can. And if they start with the BS, stand up for yourself. As scary as this sounds, you will feel better about it after the fact. Say just what you said here. "Sorry, I'm not as versed in using "Fuck" as you are. I need to hangout in bars more I guess!" A little sarcasm goes a long ways! ;)

Again, hugs...we all feel for you here.
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I have to say I can relate. I always felt like that at parties in college. I swear the vast majority of them should just have a note on the door that says "The sober and introverts not welcome!"
But then we'd be excluded from everything :mad2:

Not like we pretty much aren't already. At least then they'd be open about it.

The fun part of being an introvert is the surprised look on the extroverts' faces when you turn out to be an interesting human being.
I don't know. As an introvert I found out that when I acted like an introvert in company I was seen as stuck up. I realized that I didn't want to come off that way. I don't think it was about saying "fuck," but being seen as not being good enough. Were ya disapproving of her language? It doesn't matter now, but when someone visibly disapproves of your actions it doesn't feel good. Queen E is probably just as self-conscious as you are.

Don't stop going to parties. Introverts are interesting. I have this dream of going to a party and meeting another one and having an intense conversation off in some corner. It could happen. Don't crush my dreeeeeam!
I absolutely love you people. Thank you EVERYBODY. (I won't name names, but consider yourselves hugged.) I just got back from another, quite different holiday party with such a nice group, this last one went much better.

The holiday parties are kind of killing me, though. Enough already.

Queen E is quite pretty, hot even, tattooed, large-breasted, very wealthy, super-super-super-SUPER loud and generally commands the center of attention naturally. And trust me folks, I was willing to let her have the center of attention. I. Didn't. Want. It. I was making nice. I think she really wanted to shock someone and evidently I looked shockable, even though I really wasn't all that shocked.

Problem is, she's also IMing my husband apologzing for her behavior, and saying she's afraid she "scared me off!" I have heard a few F-bombs before, really. This whole thing is absolutely humiliating. I know I'm 39, but I don't think I look or act like a victorian grandma. Even my actual grandma and grandpa could stare an F-bomb in the eye and not blink. Probably give it back with interest, too.

Well THANK YOU everybody! Maybe this thread could turn into the "Queen E at Holiday Parties: Your Experience" thread. Because I know I'm not the only one who hates this stuff. Keep us posted. Maybe there is strength in (virtual) numbers for us poor I's during the holidays.
Never been to those parties.

However, been to extrovert-majority parties that result me hiding in some corner.

I am hoping for one nice small party (maybe my choir's party) this holiday season.