Charisma - What is it and have you got it?

This thread got really fucking weird.

How a discussion about what charisma is and how that shows up in people turned into what it is now is beyond me.

Maybe EVERYONE needs to take a break from the fucking forum.

Embarrassing.

I'm writing about this in my Forum Vibes thread!
 
Ren said:
Sure, whatever.

I won’t mention this anymore as I don’t want to emotionally exhaust you. But I am allowed to have the belief that you’re again falling back into your usual and predictable mode of deflection.
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I'm not emotionally exhausted by this discussion, Ren. I thought about your honest opinion for a good while.

Don't worry.
 
SpecialEdition said:
This thread got really fucking weird.

How a discussion about what charisma is and how that shows up in people turned into what it is now is beyond me.

Maybe EVERYONE needs to take a break from the fucking forum.

Embarrassing.
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Not really. I think Ren (and me) were just annoyed with "debate mode" Hos and his dismissive attitude to other people's arguments, especially when his arguments were no better.

I think 80% of this intervention was completely appropriate. It escalated a bit too much at the end. And some word choices were a bit poor.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I'm not emotionally exhausted by this discussion, Ren. I thought about your honest opinion for a good while.

Don't worry.
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Ok, good. We can stop now.

Sorry if I got too private in my post, I just followed your suggestion to express my honest opinion. I might as well delete it.
 
philostam said:
Not really. I think Ren (and me) were just annoyed with "debate mode" Hos and his dismissive attitude to other people's arguments, especially when his arguments were no better.

I think 80% of this intervention was completely appropriate. It escalated a bit too much at the end. And some word choices were a bit poor.
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If this is what an intervention looks like then colour me educated, I had no idea. I'm putting this on /r/TodayILearned.

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Everyone is allowed to see it however they want. Embarrassing, necessary, Hos as a victim, Hos as villain etc.

I personally didn't find it problematic at the beginning.

What's done is done now. I hope no grudges will be held.
 
philostam said:
Everyone is allowed to see it however they want. Embarrassing, necessary, Hos as a victim, Hos as hero etc.

I personally didn't find it problematic at the beginning.

What's done is done now. I hope no grudges will be held.
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I’m not sure what you perceived to be problematic?

Anyway, I’m happy to go back to charisma whenever people are ready.
 
Current weirdness being acknowledged, I view Charisma as being more of a strategy mixed with skill set. One of my friends is the charisma guy, and has a skill set for reading the situation and the person he's trying to woo over. He reads the environment, see's points of entry, determines an approach and then gives his best sales pitch. This applies to all aspects of his life but in this specific example I'm thinking of him selling cell phones which he did at one point in life.

Once engaged he's trying to find out what the other person is needing and offer them that or a middle ground to slowly walk them to where he wants. He's a likable, nonthreatening guy. People often have a good first impression with him and people other than me call him charismatic. In this example Charisma acts as a tool that can be deployed. And he's trying his best to offer a RPG like chat scenario where he offers 2-3 options out each moving the interaction into a result he wants. A good deal of this is recognizing a bad interaction and cutting your losses and moving on to the next one.

Ultimately I think the audience votes if he's charismatic but the grade total of interactions is the grading verdict.

My personal experience at work I find leaders that won't tell you either how they feel or think personally distasteful. I think leaders that I find charismatic try to understand the issue, and solve the problem for big picture/long term.

I am also thinking of the term influence - which is related. I would not say I'm charismatic normally but I would say I'm an influencer.
 
Daustus said:
My personal experience at work I find leaders that won't tell you either how they feel or think personally distasteful. I think leaders that I find charismatic try to understand the issue, and solve the problem for big picture/long term.
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Hmm...got a point there. Seems it's pretty much a grey line here when charisma is pushed into leadership.
Understanding the issue, problem resolving, big picture/long term - vision, would these be part of charismatic leadership?
 
Daustus said:
My personal experience at work I find leaders that won't tell you either how they feel or think personally distasteful. I think leaders that I find charismatic try to understand the issue, and solve the problem for big picture/long term.

I am also thinking of the term influence - which is related. I would not say I'm charismatic normally but I would say I'm an influencer.
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Daustus said:
I am also thinking of the term influence - which is related. I would not say I'm charismatic normally but I would say I'm an influencer.
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It would be interesting to hear how you perceive the way in which you influence.

dragulagu said:
@Daustus That seems more like convincing skills than charisma. Being, you are using charismatic skills to persuade a person to your purpose (to woo, to sell, to ...).
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Yeah, I thought so too. I would think that natural charisma can be a help in developing these skills, but is not identical with said skills.
 
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