Can't make up my mind!

I guess you wouldn't be up for settling then. But I can sympathize...

INFj's aren't the only ones with that problem...
often I wonder if I'll grow old and alone... luckily I'm young and still have a crudload of time.

you should think you do have a shot at the girl of your dreams... because chances are she's just as hopelessly romantic and looking for you too. (how adorable *squeee*) I don't think you're being silly at all because I think you deserve that shot at happiness or at least the ability to say you tried.

You should tell yourself that she's out there looking for you right now every day when you wake up... (so then you'll subconsciencely (I cant' spell) be looking for her all the time)

Before you know it she'll be there kay?

or at least you can blame me and at least feel better if such is not the case because then, I'll be lonely too . ha ha...

 

Don't make the mistake of thinking that there is such a thing as a perfect girl - or person. There are human girls a plenty

Perhaps there is something more romantic and requiring a higher ideal to be able to love an imperfect girl perfectly. ?

Hope you find perfect love.

 

I agree, with everything said.

 

Yus, this is what I've wanted out of life for years, but it took me a while to identify that was exactly what I always wanted. It made so much sense I found it stupid I didn't see it earlier.

As for finding your love, I'm afraid you have to be willing to fail, and fail again, before finding her. Don't be afraid though, you'll enjoy the time you have with the "mistakes" till you find her. It takes some time going through all those relationships before YOU are primed to be with that perfect girl. Experience in relationship is very important. So go out there, and SCREW UP!

 

Nobody is perfect bud, but I dearly hope that the perfect match is out there for each and every one of us. Your thoughts mirror my own in many respects. :tea:

 

Hey there--- how very strange. I've felt this way for let's see...about 5-6 years. It made me bitter, feel jaded, skeptical. Felt like there was a fount of love inside of me, but so precious, that I needed to make sure the person I give it to is worthy of it. I know (unabashedly and unbiasedly) that most of the world does not deserve me and i'm sure that is the same for you. After all, it's people like us who are really truly capable of loving. (I've learned over time that there ARE people who do not know how. Perhaps they must learn?)

So I shut my heart out of that world---when really, my heart is so natural when loving. I encased it in steel, denied it much for so many years. This year I was almost exhausted, I cried for this heart of mine that so longed to love but could not. But this year, I met someone who proved me wrong. I was astounded. I am astounded right now. We've had so many talks about how our love is. It's something that has healed us of fear, of many many things.

After all of this longing, to tell you the truth, in the beginning it was difficult letting myself go and actually letting myself fall. That's what happens to you. But before your heart permanently digs itself into the earth, you need to set it free. I have faith that you will find someone who is worthy of your love...for what is it that I'm feeling right now? My heart was saved. It exists, it exists!

 

haha, ps-- try it out with that girl. If you think she might be something, give her a chance. That's what I did after getting a peep of his inner world <3 She might be the one to change you..

 

Trust me, it's not just you... or INFJs for that matter. I'm IxFP (leaning S) and I can assure you I hopelessly want to find that guy for me, or no one. Maybe it's a little far fetched , but still there is no harm in reaching for the stars. Don't give up.

 

There is no such thing as the guy or girl of your dreams. Don't lower your standards because what you want is rare. On the flip side, don't overlook what's right in front of you because you're stuck trying to find this girl who perfectly fits an outline you've already made.

Maybe I'm being cheesy or the stereotypical idealist, but love doesn't really seem to me like something you can plan for, prepare for, or look for. And putting this much energy into looking for it and turning it into such a serious matter is going to make it that much harder to find. (Also, I definitely think you should give the girl you mentioned a shot. Just try not to hold her to any expectations you may already have.)

And I know I'm not an INFJ. But welcome to the forum! And good luck with... everything.

 

Underskies, great point! I agree---pick up a person who's nearly there ;P There are some things you know you CANNOT live without, but there are some things you can gladly overlook. You'll find yourself head-and-heels in love

 

I understand exactly how you feel, frustrations and all. Do not rule out the effects of mere chance and synchronicity. You can look too hard, you know. Just try to remain centered and keep your eyes, ears, and heart open!

 

I am in the same boat sorta, i'm pressing 30 and I am getting kind of tired of dating around. I always gravitate towards something real and something meaningful, but alas to date I can only attract people who are... for lack of a better word senseless ogres.

I am done looking for the right woman, I decided months ago that the only way that this shit is going to work for me and probably every other heterosexual male in society is that I just need to focus on building wealth and assets and try to be as much of myself as possible. Plant a flag and hope someone sees it, so to speak...

Here are some good lyrics to the begging of that Alicia Keys song Unthinkable, the opening rap in the remix by Drake is having so much resonance for me right now.

 

Yes!!