Can you really fall for someone you don't know that well?

this is usually the norm for me. i don't tend to fall for people i know well already.
 
NeverAmI said:
I don't necessarily know about love. But sometimes I can get a sense of infatuation from people that I meet online.
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Really! *Who, i wonder . . . :m083:*
 
I agree completely with your post. Personally, I don't even swoon over people who are just plain "good looking." I think it just isn't apparent to me because I wouldn't know their personality. I have friends who always point out guys saying, "He's so hot!" While I didn't even notice them going by.

But when a personality gets to me---I start to notice their physical qualities and love them for that too. It's definitely the "inner" that reels me in. If I feel an attraction to someone without knowing them, I think it's mainly because I feel that their personality must somehow match up to mine or they seem interesting (an innate thing).

Bottom line, I do tend to fall for "friends" because I love who they are. Infatuation for me is also very gradual, as I get to know the person.
 
I know I have.
 
Can you really fall for someone you don't know all that well? Sure you can! Babies are made all the time that way.

I also think that one of the purposes of a relationship is to get to know someone better.
 
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Yes...you can fall for a complete and total stranger as your eyes meet across a crowded room...I know Ive done it...you can fall for someone you have never really met...just talked to...The falling is easy...

Its getting back up, dusting yourself off, and seeing through the fog to know weather or not its true thats the hard part!
 
I've said in some threads somewhere around that i believe that you can love someone at first sight or love someone you've never met, but not anymore. I had no idea what i was talking about. I've been describing (in my head) so many different types of superficial or misguided feelings as love when it's infatuation or limerence. Because my feelings are so intense, simple feelings can feel like much more. So, even if i just met someone and like them, i can almost immediately start to think i'm in love. Limited relationship experience played a strong role as well. If you don't have experience with "real"/normal relationships, you're sometimes more likely to be idealistic about "love", romanticize what it means or how it should "feel", and then quickly judge what you feel as something serious, when in reality, it's nothing at all. To use an analogy, just as a good/great kiss can make you think you love someone, having intense feelings can make you feel more, and lead you to assume that what you feel has a deeper meaning. This is why i too often mistake feelings of attraction for love, because somewhere in my conscious and subconscious i've developed this idea that the intense feelings i have must have some significant meaning or reason for being there, or i wouldn't have them. Therefore, i was believing they were real, when they are not.

So, that's my psychoanalysis of myself on the topic of love.
 
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Res said:
This is why i can easily mistake feelings of attraction for love,
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what is the difference?

Is love more than feelings of attraction
can it not be that "feelings of attraction" are the result of love

can you only call it love when you have proven that "the feelings you have" are stable and withstand the test of time? Or are all feelings of attraction, being in love, admiration and friendships all different facets of the big "love"?
 
If they smell good, sure! :becky:

I would say j/k, but I am more serious than not.


cheers,
Ian
 
I have definitely had this happen, online actually.
It's so easy to feel an immediate attraction to someone, and if you start talking to them a bit and your personalities work well together... well that makes the initial 'like' allthat much stronger.
 
I tend to think of (initial feelings of) love as a chemical reaction. (Well, it is one, but what I'm saying is that I don't typically romanticize it as much as I could.) Whether or not the reasons for this reaction to occur in your brain are reasonable is a separate question. I do believe a person can feel those feelings just as strongly even if they don't truly know the person they're "falling" for.

You can fall for the idea of a person. You can imagine all the little details about them that you would actually know if you had already gotten to know them. You'll get the same reaction, but it's probably infinitely less likely to last as long as love that spurns from an already established relationship. (I think it's very easy to fall out of that kind of "love." It's fragile.)



But, on another note, there is a different kind of love that I think is more vague and that I really can't attempt to explain.

I have a feeling that nothing I just wrote makes very much sense.
 
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