Somewhereelse
Regular Poster
- MBTI
- infj
Hello, my fellow souls.
This question is probably the very reason that I was drawn to this forum to begin with. But it's such a big question that I hesitated for weeks until I eventually throw it out here now. There won't be a perfect answer, I am aware of it, despite I am longing for one.
Out of blue, I was hit by mid-life crisis. Half way done with my life quota, I'm nowhere near what I thought I would be. And when I tried to put my old dreams in a more substantial context, I realized that I actually had never had "a real dream".
Over mid 30s, I safely come to the conclusion that the answer to my question would not be a successful career. I have a family which I love, but it wouldn't be enough to fill that black hole in my soul which is so powerful that I feel half empty inside. If I try to put it more precisely, I feel that I would hate myself if I carry on living a life for myself for the rest of my life.
Yes, that's what I mean. I would look down upon myself if my life is all about myself. We come to this world and we leave one day. Everyday we take, we consume and we destroy, but without much giving back. The world is mostly not becoming a better place than when we just arrived. I truly feel ashamed to accept it comfortably without doing anything... But my partner said, to do good needs sacrifice, not sacrifice of one's own, but also those who rely on her. He's right. I feel strongly willing to throw myself into a cause, but if it's at the cost of the well-being/standard of life of my family, I just couldn't do it. As a full time working mum of a young child with nearly 30 years mortgage to pay back, (time wise and money wise) I don't see any alternative than just carrying on to live for myself... I feel deeply ashamed in my heart for this.
What's your answer to the question - What is life about, my fellow INFJs?
(My thought is a bit of everywhere on this topic and I am still not sure at this moment if I shall speak out of what bothers me. But, let me just click "Submit" before I delete everything. Please don't laugh at me if you disagree or think the entire thing is totally over idealistic...)
This question is probably the very reason that I was drawn to this forum to begin with. But it's such a big question that I hesitated for weeks until I eventually throw it out here now. There won't be a perfect answer, I am aware of it, despite I am longing for one.
Out of blue, I was hit by mid-life crisis. Half way done with my life quota, I'm nowhere near what I thought I would be. And when I tried to put my old dreams in a more substantial context, I realized that I actually had never had "a real dream".
Over mid 30s, I safely come to the conclusion that the answer to my question would not be a successful career. I have a family which I love, but it wouldn't be enough to fill that black hole in my soul which is so powerful that I feel half empty inside. If I try to put it more precisely, I feel that I would hate myself if I carry on living a life for myself for the rest of my life.
Yes, that's what I mean. I would look down upon myself if my life is all about myself. We come to this world and we leave one day. Everyday we take, we consume and we destroy, but without much giving back. The world is mostly not becoming a better place than when we just arrived. I truly feel ashamed to accept it comfortably without doing anything... But my partner said, to do good needs sacrifice, not sacrifice of one's own, but also those who rely on her. He's right. I feel strongly willing to throw myself into a cause, but if it's at the cost of the well-being/standard of life of my family, I just couldn't do it. As a full time working mum of a young child with nearly 30 years mortgage to pay back, (time wise and money wise) I don't see any alternative than just carrying on to live for myself... I feel deeply ashamed in my heart for this.
What's your answer to the question - What is life about, my fellow INFJs?
(My thought is a bit of everywhere on this topic and I am still not sure at this moment if I shall speak out of what bothers me. But, let me just click "Submit" before I delete everything. Please don't laugh at me if you disagree or think the entire thing is totally over idealistic...)