becoming emotionaly addicted? | INFJ Forum

becoming emotionaly addicted?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Morgain, Nov 24, 2009.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by Morgain
  1. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I'm starting to feel ashamed of starting an other tread about myself :D

    anyhow, I'm just going to write it here :becky:

    So this weekend I realized that I tend to get really emotionaly dependent on what people think of me. Today was the first time I saw the whole process.

    Today someone said something really nice to me about me, really nice!! I just melted and felt extremely happy because that doesn't happen very much. The minute after that, I felt addicted. I needed more, more compliments. I noticed that I did things or said things for the only reason to please them to get more complimets. I wasn't focussed on who I am any more but on who I should be to be accepted, allthoug I normally am satisfied with who I am... (yeah sick isn't it? :D)

    It feels like I go through life with a barrier and as soon as someone is nice to me, the barrier goes down and I don't know who I am any more or what to do with it.

    Is this something you can relate to?
    Is this something INFJ'ish or is it just me :becky:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
  2. sookie

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2009
    Threads:
    109
    Messages:
    1,202
    Likes Received:
    71
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFX

    I can really relate to this. I actually can take it one step further. In the past I feel like I would need to check in to see if they were still thinking positively towards me.

    I actually do it here as well. If people dont post a response or do post a response I would read to much into it.

    I think it is an NF thing to be sensitive, more than the other types. I am trying to get to a place where I am immune to the praise and critism that others give me. I think if I am super sensitive to the praise dont get me started about critism. I get horrified with critism. This is not good. I dont want to be on an emotionaly roller coaster. What if someone is having a bad day and it has nothing to do with me? I am completely at the whim of other peoples moods.

    So I am determined to get better at this. I want to set the barometer for my day and not let other people do it.

    Please don't be ashamed at all. I really like reading your posts. This is why the forum was created.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. Solar Empath

    Solar Empath Community Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    39
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Well I don't know if I would call it addiction, but I could probably relate to that.. if I had ever received more than an occasional backhanded compliment. :)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    It is completely the same with me!!!!!!!!!! It is so stupid to do this and it has a huge clame on my life! I'm glad I'm not the only one!!! :D

    I'm on my way into your direction :becky:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,381
    Messages:
    28,290
    Featured Threads:
    94
    Likes Received:
    22,912
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy

    This is me completely.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Moxie

    Moxie Absent-Minded Professor

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Threads:
    45
    Messages:
    1,519
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Solar Empath, I like your name. :D

    Morgan, you're not alone. I feel like a puppy with my tongue hanging out getting it's belly rubbed, and wanting more and more petting. When I realize what I'm doing, how I'm pushing people to keep feeding me emotionally, I have to make myself stop. Just because I feel ashamed of myself for feeling so happy from the thoughts of another. There's always a down-side too, which is when the 'belly-rubs' are all over, there's sadness, and I can feel more alone after compliments, when they stop coming. So, I try hard to tone myself down, reminding myself that it's not other people that need to give me validation, but myself.

    Thanks for verbalizing this. I had never really thought about it!
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,381
    Messages:
    28,290
    Featured Threads:
    94
    Likes Received:
    22,912
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Agree. Same here.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. Solar Empath

    Solar Empath Community Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Threads:
    15
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    39
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I meant in real life from friends. People in my area are pretty reserved, it's considered inauthentic to give compliments to men I think. :)

    I could definitely see this though. I know that I sometimes yearn for compliments like an addict in withdrawal.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    yes,
    this is so recognizable! I also feel mor sadness after I got a complement than before. Somehow in that moment I make a switch from depending on how I value myself to depending on how others feel about me or value me. And eventually I lose my value of myself and forget that I don't need other people to value me.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Threads:
    245
    Messages:
    9,350
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,218
    Trophy Points:
    966
    MBTI:
    ^.^
    Enneagram:
    .
    edit: Actually, thinking more about it, I like compliments, but I don't really need them to be happy. They are just the icing on the cake. At times, though, especially when they are excessive, I can get embarrassed and skeptical of the giver's sincerity.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #10 TinyBubbles, Nov 24, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2009
Loading...

Share This Page