Bearding in Hollywood

TinyBubbles

TinyBubbles

anarchist
MBTI
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Hypothetical situation:

Imagine you're a male actor in his late 20's/early 30's. You've done your fair share of movies and tv shows, and have an impressive 15 year resume behind you. You're now vying for some leading male roles in major movies, and you know that your image in the general public counts for alot. However, you have a major secret: you're gay. You've been in the closet for years, practically your whole life, and only a handful of people know, including the guy you're currently in a secret relationship with, your brothers and sisters, and your beards. What's a beard, you might be wondering? In Hollywood slang this is a person who pretends to be your significant other in public outings and special events such as movie premiers; their purpose is to cover your true sexuality and dissuade the public from realizing you're gay. Bearding happens in Hollywood all the time, and has for years, although only recently is it becoming well known.
Anyway, point is, you're with this woman who is a long time friend of yours (since high school) and is currently acting as your beard. You're not very happy with this arrangement because you feel uncomfortable with lying, and would much rather live openly in a relationship with your true partner (who is also bearding, btw). However, your managers and publicists have strongly advised you to dissuade from this mode of thinking; coming out would ruin your career, your chances of getting good roles in the future, they say. In fact, because the rumors about your sexuality have been steadily gaining momentum over the years, they advise you to kick the bearding up a notch and marry your beard. She's willing to do it for you, as a friend and a paid actress, but you feel unsure. Your heart is not in it, but your career is extremely important to you. Your partner has already decided to marry HIS beard, so this just leaves you to what you will with yours. Would you come out? Would you marry the beard? Would you ditch the beard but remain in the closet? Lemme know your thoughts ^^
 
Depends on one question:

Do I have enough money or do I want more? If I want more, I'll continue bearding, though I might not want to marry her (not sure about that). Though if my partner is married- what is the point anyway?
 
I disagree with being gay altogether (have to throw that disclaimer in, no offense meant for anyone!) but looking at this from an alternate viewpoint where the morality of it didn't matter I'd have to say that it depends on the person.

On one level, he'd have to make a living, and jeopardizing a career over that is a HUGE step.

On a higher level, he'd view it as wrong that he'd have to hide from society and put on a facade...

On an even higher level, our life is only a finite time, so we should do what we think is best... that it wouldn't matter either way after they died, so they should simply choose to do what would give them the most enjoyable life based on how they felt about it. It's a subjective matter to the person whether they'd be happier to rebel against something they thought was wrong, or if they decided that the cause wasn't really worth rebelling against because it wasn't worth it anyway - and that throwing a career away on it would just be throwing away what they love to do on principal.

If it was me, I'd put on a facade until I retired and then release an autobiography that rubs what really happened into the faces of the people who would have disapproved... and throw in a few fibs to spice things up. That's just for fun though. :)
 
I don't think I could marry someone I didn't love.

I also think that this whole 'bearding' thing is also bad for society. Shouldn't we have more gay role models in Hollywood?

It also seems like the truth always comes out anyway. Especially with they way the press stalks celebrities these days. How can you be gay and have someone NOT find out eventually?
 
Dragon said:
Depends on one question:

Do I have enough money or do I want more? If I want more, I'll continue bearding, though I might not want to marry her (not sure about that). Though if my partner is married- what is the point anyway?
Click to expand...

You definitely want more money :) But more to the point, you want to continue acting, you genuinely love it and have put your heart and soul into developing your career. You're afraid that you'll be overlooked for certain roles if you come out, and that because of it, your career will be unduly shortened.

Thanks guys who've already answered, btw. Really interesting responses. I completely agree that bearding is not good for society, if anything it's a sign of social regression. Unfortunately because it works so well, and celebrities have alot to lose by coming out, it probably isn't going away anytime soon.

RafiqNF could you elaborate on why you disagree with being gay? (not trying to antagonize anyone, i'm just curious). You've made a strong point that on a broader scale, throwing what you love away for a principle might not be worth it, and I think in alot of ways you're correct. From a practical, individual point of view, bearding does makes sense, and I can sort of sympathize with those who do it.
 
May said:
RafiqNF could you elaborate on why you disagree with being gay? (not trying to antagonize anyone, i'm just curious). You've made a strong point that on a broader scale, throwing what you love away for a principle might not be worth it, and I think in alot of ways you're correct. From a practical, individual point of view, bearding does makes sense, and I can sort of sympathize with those who do it.
Click to expand...

It's a sin <3
 
Screw the money, ditch the beard, and be true to myself. If my fans can't enjoy me for being who I am, and for being true to myself, why would I want their dirty money (it's dirty because they only would spend it on me if I lied)

If my lover isn't willing to jeopardize his career for our love, he ain't my lover.
 
Not attacking, just put the disclaimer to my initial answer, and answering the question May asked.
 
I can
 
Well, as a professional actor you spend your life playing the part of someone you're not. I do wonder how many loyal fans are indeed loyal because of the character of the actual person behind the roles and not just because of the roles that they play. Though I can't really confirm this with hard evidence, it seems that most media stars tend to be pretty reclusive due to the staggering amount of media attention that they get in general. So I guess I don't really see the harm in playing along until you've gotten all you want out of the career unless it is truly destroying your life and hurting yourself or those you love.
 
True to your self, to thy own self be true. Shakspear is everywhere.


Back on topic this could only be answered on the individual level, I dislike any of my personal matters be broadcast to the public, marriage and sexuality and inherently personal to the couple and individual.

so my thought would be, why should the public know about in the first place and why would I want them to, let them assume what they will about me regardless of what it looks like I'm gay or straight.
 
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