asperger syndrome | INFJ Forum

asperger syndrome

jimtaylor

On Holiday
May 19, 2010
1,801
447
636
MBTI
No Need
Enneagram
Yup
So my younger brother was recently diagnosed with asperger syndrome and through our conversations he has expressed to me that he and his therapist believe I also might have high functioning autism as well based of my interactions with him and others. We have very different dispositions but at the same time have to deal with very similar difficulties when it comes to socially interacting with others. This got me curious and though I had known a little about asperger’s and suspected him to have it for a long time, I had not done extensive research.

The last couple of days I have been looking into a lot more but I am not convinced either way that I have or do not have high functioning autism. What I am curious about is other’s experience or knowledge of people who do?

For me, looking at the common traits of asperger’s in adults and children, I can definitely relate and understand many of them but others not so much. For one as an adult I have learned how to get a better feel for others intentions and emotions much better than my younger brother but it has been something I have had to consciously work on since I was little. Since I was little I recognized immediately that some thing’s I did or said would have a negative impact on others but I for the most part did not recognize this until after the fact once I had time to think and dwell on it. Once this happened I would feel rather guilty and I began to understand that action was bad but it also made me question if other actions of mine where causing that same discomfort in others like it seems most children learn. Based off my observations of others, I could not read through body language or visual cues to understand if it was or not so I hesitated to act and I withdrew. Where other children began to understand body language and visual cues, I did not. I never understood personal space and now when I think back, I at times violated it by being too forward, hugging random people and things like that. I saw nothing wrong with it as a child but I started to understand that it made some uncomfortable so I stopped because I didn’t know what is an acceptable level.

Now I have learned to look for certain body language movements to understand things that I don’t naturally. I don’t know when it is a good point to end or start a conversation, I am very uncomfortable with small talk and I have never really understood flirting in a physical way. I have learned to flirt using language but my physical actions don’t always match my speech. I have to consciously think about how I am positioning myself, how I sit, how I talk(avoiding being monotone) and I have to remind myself that even though it is more comfortable for me to go off on a tangent about one of my interests I might not be giving enough attention to others interests. Because I have learned to look for certain things, it frustrates the hell out of me when somebody doesn’t follow that normal pattern. So when someone doesn’t look me in the eyes when talking/listening or when they pull out an electronic device because I don’t know if they are listening and from my understanding of body language, that tells me that they don’t want to listen.

The issue is because I don’t have a natural feel for things like this, I over think it. I try to read into every action and am unable to take them at face value. For example lets use the case of flirting. If a girl touches my arm in conversation, I will notice the touch, it will process but how I should respond is something I have to think through. “Was it just a friendly touch, expressing comfort and familiarity? Does it mean she desires me to initiate contact back? Should I? Do I really want to but is it what she is expecting? Am I over thinking this? Probably… Just do what comes natural to you…. Do nothing and forget it even happened.”

It is natural for me not to act because I recognized quickly when I was younger that every individual was different therefore unpredictable and I did not like that unpredictability. I am always trying to find hidden meanings to every action or statement because what is obvious to others is invisible to me, so I have to play the percentages. I have to categorize actions into certain probabilities. If a person does this action then it most likely means this and therefore I should act in this way.

One last example is a real one. I was talking with a friend and a party when a girl came and sat next to me. She listened to our conversation and then when a pause happened she made a comment; “You are very smart.”

The comment threw me off and it didn’t ever process to me that it was a compliment or anything more than just a statement. I took it at face value, a statement meaning nothing more. My response was “yes” and then I returned to what I was talking about with my friend. I never understood I was being rude and that perhaps she was trying to start a conversation until my friend pointed it out to me. By that point it was too late and the damage was done. Since then I have gotten much better at recognizing things like this and having a response ready that I have practiced.

So I don’t know, there is some validity in their observation and the statement has gotten me to start thinking and it does explain a lot but I don’t know. I know this sounds like I am trying to argue the case that I do and that is partially my purpose. I already know the reasons why I am not but I am still exploring the reasons, why I might, if that makes any sense.
 
I have my own hypotheses on the matter. Regardless of which... does knowing if you have Asperger's or not change anything? Is it important in any way? Other than simply knowing for knowing's sake? I'm just curious is all. I have also been getting this looked into for myself.
 
I have my own hypotheses on the matter. Regardless of which... does knowing if you have Asperger's or not change anything? Is it important in any way? Other than simply knowing for knowing's sake? I'm just curious is all. I have also been getting this looked into for myself.

I am not asperger's.... Met with the therapist though I still might be high functioning autism. Nope it doesnt change anything but it is nice to have the understanding and support so that there is specific ways to overcome some of the social challenges
 
Thank you. That is precisely why I'm investigating that possibility as well. Good luck!

jimtaylor said:
It is natural for me not to act because I recognized quickly when I was younger that every individual was different therefore unpredictable and I did not like that unpredictability. I am always trying to find hidden meanings to every action or statement because what is obvious to others is invisible to me, so I have to play the percentages. I have to categorize actions into certain probabilities. If a person does this action then it most likely means this and therefore I should act in this way.

Exactly!! Although I did not consciously know this until recently.

I find that when my direct focus is applied to a social interaction (especially an unfamiliar one), I appear to overthink it as well. I don't quite know best how to explain it, but I have a somewhat easier time when the interaction is occurring within the peripheral of my focus, so to speak, instead of directly. Interestingly, I have been told by a Psychologist, that because I appear to know how to demonstrate empathy, I could not possibly be on the Autism Spectrum. What she doesn't want to seem to take into account is that I learned, with great pains and trial & error, how to do that. There are many if then variables to consider.
 
Last edited:
Hi jimtaylor and Paladin-X,

I hope you two don't mind me joining this conversation? I have to tell you that when I saw the title of this thread, "Asperger's Syndrome," I immediately clicked on because I have formed a specialty with this condition and the Autistic spectrum in general, after over a decade of personal interactions, intense research and my own self which I will explain. Both from a personal viewpoint and "clinical" one as well. So many amazing things have been said thus far so my reply may be lengthy. I am going to go ahead and send this short note for now and continue working on the rest because I am genuinely so glad this topic has been brought up, I really am. It is however 3:30 AM here at the moment so my brain isn't working at full-capacity to respond as I'd like so I will need to wait until (hopefully) later today. There are so many factors and variables here, wow. I must tell you that being INFJs really throws a very "interesting" and emotionally difficult twist that changes a lot. This is a very multi-layered situation for sure. Your description jimtaylor was however perfect and very clear from an adult diagnosis standpoint. Same goes for you Paladin-X. By the way, as a side note: I'd just like to say that I am absolutely in love with every single one of the quotes from both of your signatures. Wow! They are the definition of perfection in my opinion. :smile:
 
  • Like
Reactions: mochi and jimtaylor
Thank you. That is precisely why I'm investigating that possibility as well. Good luck!



Exactly!! Although I did not consciously know this until recently.

I find that when my direct focus is applied to a social interaction (especially an unfamiliar one), I appear to overthink it as well. I don't quite know best how to explain it, but I have a somewhat easier time when the interaction is occurring within the peripheral of my focus, so to speak, instead of directly. Interestingly, I have been told by a Psychologist, that because I appear to know how to demonstrate empathy, I could not possibly be on the Autism Spectrum. What she doesn't want to seem to take into account is that I learned, with great pains and trial & error, how to do that. There are many if then variables to consider.

I understand exactly what you are saying because when lets just say that I am at a party, if my focus is on organizing it i am also able to talk to people better because my goal is to host and so there is a natural talking point. If I am just trying to interact, I fell very lost.

That is one of the things they mentioned about me as well that makes them pretty confident that i am not. But, my brother also can demonstrate empathy when he is made aware of the feelings in a way he can understand. If he is told that he said something that hurt someone he cares about, he feels terrible about it and will apologize and offer to make up for it. This a learned condition for him but is it not for us all? Another reason against me was because how sensitive I could and can be. When i was little seeing things on the TV would really upset me and seeing people in pain really upset me, so my natural reaction to this is not to show empathy but to try and make the pain go away.

The other big indicator was the fact that many with aspergers; because of the difference of how their minds function, tend to imitate their environment emotionally. They do not have the filter to be able to control their own emotions in respect to those around them. If those around them are very stressed, they will be as well because they are so sensitive to that. I am sensitive to it as well but how I respond is similar but different. i do shut down my negative emotions but instead of being controlled by the situation, i try to control it. I can shut off those emotions to deal with them later, so that I can focus at the task at hand.
 
[MENTION=5756]Dr. Holly[/MENTION]
Waiting patiently for your response... ;)

[MENTION=2710]jimtaylor[/MENTION]

Interesting. I operate both like you and your brother. There are times when I'm completely unaware of others' feelings and then there are times when I'm too sensitive to them.

I think it's a logical fallacy that doctors deem someone with Asperger's to be incapable of controlling their emotions in the way you've described. I believe that it is quite possible for an individual with Asperger's to overcome any of their challenges, the problem is in learning how. There is a huge difference in understanding a concept and being able to apply it. I usually know how I should've thought/acted/felt in hindsight. I rarely know how, in the moment.

It's like when someone tells me 'just deal with it' or 'just accept it', etc. I understand the concept you are trying to convey, but I do not understand how to employ such a concept, especially when needed. When therapists tell me to learn to accept something, I give them a complex math equation and tell them to solve it.

Regardless of which, in the new DSM, Asperger's is no longer it's own thing and is simply part of the Autistic Spectrum.
 
[MENTION=5437]Paladin-X[/MENTION]
You've been so sweet :) Thank you for waiting patiently. Probably getting a little less so though but I certainly understand! When I sent you that message, I really did mean it when I said that ever since my original posting here, I have been trying desperately to find enough time to sit down and give this discussion its proper respect. It really is near and dear to my heart so I want to get it right

[MENTION=2710]jimtaylor[/MENTION]
I saw your PM. I'll definitely be responding ASAP. :smile:

So...I am focusing only on this thread as of right now. The only distraction possible could be work (schedule is literally 24/7, very unpredictable and in the middle of some very tough cases at the moment) but I am wanting so much to get these thoughts written down that have been on my mind since I first saw this discussion *crosses fingers and says a prayer* In all seriousness, I really am devoted to joining in here and replying to the incredible words you both have written, asking some questions, adding a few information resources most likely, etc. I genuinely am sorry for the delay...I have been absolutely hating it because once I have something so dead-locked in my mind like this, I tend to go a little crazy if I keep getting pulled away and can't engage the way I desire to.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Paladin-X
Test and other information

Hi Paladin and jim,

I hope it's okay for me to call you guys that? If not, please let me know! I certainly won't be offended if you'd rather I type out full usernames or would prefer to be called by a different name, even.

So, as you know by now, I've put a ton of thought into this thread. One of the decisions I was trying to make is how to approach it since a whole lot of discussion has already occurred, etc. What I came up with is this: Instead of making this novel-long post with all kinds of quotes, tests, other information and all of that in it, I'll take it a little at a time. I'd love to actually discuss this topic, ask questions, hear what your personal point of views are further as time goes on and more and more information is posted. I can honestly say that from what I have read (and sense intuitively) thus far from both of you, I see a lot of "Autistic traits" varying on the spectrum, but more detailed questions need to be asked really. The reason this topic is near & dear to my heart is due to several reasons: The love of my life of 10 years now has Aspergers, diagnosed as a young kid. I also test as having "Autistic traits" way above average, am a Counselor and an INFJ... so "I get it" - from a knowing/loving someone with AS and my own life points of view, as well as lots of experience and research now over the years. (I do however also want to bring another "condition" to awareness, if you're not already aware of it)

Over the years, I have found that Autistic folks are drawn to me, even those that refuse to speak to anyone else around them. (I truly believe partially due to my INFJ nature, which both of you understand what I mean by that statement) The idea that Autistic people don't feel emotions, have empathy or intuition is simply just dead wrong. Not having those qualities versus simply not showing them outwardly to everyone are obviously 2 entirely different issues! Society by and large sees this "syndrome" as a curse, as a very negative thing. For example (I apologize in advance if this is offensive), if I hear it/deal with it myself or if I see one more parent on a medical or psychological themed show talk about their child being diagnosed with High Functioning Autism or Aspergers as if the world has just come to an end, I think I'll lose my mind. I fully admit, that is one of my weaknesses - to maintain "composure" when in that situation. I say this because to me, being "High Functioning" or an "Aspie" (not a derogatory name) is absolutely beautifully unique, amazing and a true gift to this world. The difference in how the mind works, the absolute genius behind it all, that is something to be celebrated in my book! Are there unique challenges and difficulties in life? Yes, absolutely. It's not an easy life because of such judgmental, hateful and closed-minded people sadly that want everyone to fit inside their "little box" and anything different is unacceptable, but finding that one person who gets you and appreciates you for simply "being you" will make all the difference, because you then have the benefit of an "outsider perspective" from one who can build you up and point out the breathtaking qualities you have that others don't. Far too many in society want to focus on what is different in what they perceive is negative - such as lack of eye contact in social situations, avoidance when uncomfortable, etc. Why I get upset that people (specifically parents with their child) that have such a dramatic and tragic response to this diagnosis is because they say things such as, "Oh, my child will never have someone love them" or "They'll never be successful in life because no one will ever accept them," etc. This is simply not true! I just want anyone to know that is on the spectrum as "High Functioning" or "AS" ... YOU are valued, needed, appreciated and unique in a way that matters. Anyone who says otherwise is unfortunately needing to be educated out of their ignorance to see beyond, to the great depth and beauty inside, even if it's not always externally shown to those who aren't "their person" or someone occasionally trustworthy in their eyes to be your true selves with. I see it far too often where someone on the spectrum will try to conform to society, denying their true identity/interests and wind up miserable and it can be potentially dangerous due to higher risks of drug/alcohol abuse, thoughts of suicide, on and on. That has to end. Now, those diagnosed with full-blown Autism (verbal or non-verbal) is obviously a much more difficult situation because there are so many challenges, but the beauty and value is still there! *steps down from soapbox for a bit* :w:

There is a free test, based on pretty rock-solid science from the Autism Research Center. I personally score 31 to 34. It can give you some insight into where your "function level" is so I do recommend it. If you feel comfortable sharing it, it will help to know how you scored. Here is an analysis of the result numbers:

In terms of the distribution of the scores of the general population it can be said that the getting a score of:

11 – 22 is Average for most of the population.

22 – 31 Indicates that one has slightly higher than average autistic traits.

32 + Shows a high degree of autistic tendencies

A score of 50 is the maximum that can be achieved with the AQ Test and indicates an extremely high degree of Autistic traits.

You can take this great test here: http://www.aspergerstestsite.com/75/autism-spectrum-quotient-aq-test/#.UA0bHUSkSIc

I'm going to wrap this particular post up now. But, as mentioned above, I do have another piece of possibly new information you may not be aware of yet. I don't believe it was added to the DSM yet but I truly believe if it isn't, it should one day be included because it is valuable and accurate information on what some call a "condition" and others call a personality issue/type. So I will begin working on that post right away too, while I still have the time :smile: I look forward to beginning this great discussion and finding out how you score on the test, if you choose to share! :) I definitely look forward after posting this information to dive a bit deeper into some comments you both have talked about, very interesting. One day at a time... *whew*
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Paladin-X
:confused: Well... unfortunately, the documentation I thought that I had saved in a certain folder isn't there. Looks like I need to do some digging next chance I get to see if I can track down that information document I have on the other condition/personality type that mimics Aspergers and very often can cause someone, like myself, to score fairly high on an Autism spectrum test but really, it's a "false positive" in a sense. These two are so closely related however in many ways that there is often a bond and understanding between two individuals who have one or the other. It's akin to INFJs that have the same level of development in their functions having an even deeper understanding of each other. That's why, which probably goes without saying, far more in-depth questioning with very specific details and other methods must be used to truly determine whether someone is on the Autistic spectrum. It's amazing how there are several syndromes or conditions out there that can present just like Aspergers or High Functioning on the surface level. Likewise, so many cases of ADD or ADHD are a misdiagnosis for being on the spectrum and the medications used to treat those conditions are horrible for Autism!! The sad reality is that many Psychologists are very poor quality and are in the profession for all the wrong reasons, thus jeopardizing true knowledge for lack of interest or care and patients suffer in a major way. :sigh: The same holds true for many medical doctors and nurses as well unfortunately.

So, looks like I will unfortunately have to keep looking for what I wanted to share and will post again once I do. I hope both of you are doing well...have a good day! :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Paladin-X
[MENTION=5756]Dr. Holly[/MENTION]
I scored 38.

*steps down from soapbox for a bit*

I often live on the soapbox. I'm sure just as many on the forums as people do in real life get sick of hearing my soapbox speeches. I can go on and on and on.

Is the condition you're thinking of Borderline Personality Disorder by any chance?
 
Last edited:
[MENTION=5756]Dr. Holly[/MENTION] I scored 33, 31 and 34, so pretty consistent in my answers.
 
Paladin-X said:
I scored 38.

I often live on the soapbox. I'm sure just as many on the forums as people do in real life get sick of hearing my soapbox speeches. I can go on and on and on.

Is the condition you're thinking of Borderline Personality Disorder by any chance?

Hi Paladin,

Thank you for posting your score results. That helps me a lot. A score of 38 will definitely be something I take into consideration and keep in the back of my mind as this discussion continues. Also, as I posted on your visitor messages, I say live on your soapbox :thumb: I personally am always very interested in your posts because what you have to say is very intelligent and insightful. So as far as I'm concerned, keep going "on and on and on" (that's not how I see/read it at all by the way) because it's all fine to me :smile:

I wasn't actually thinking of Borderline Personality Disorder as for the file I am trying to find, but that is certainly one that is often looked at. Was it mentioned to you? Or just being interested in Psychology, it was a disorder you researched? As I was thinking about the condition I actually have in my mind, I also thought of another that y'all may be familiar with. Ever heard of NLD and NVLD? This is a "disorder" that most believe is the same as AS but I disagree. There are many traits in common, but just as I was speaking of in my last post, there are quite a few syndromes (etc) that have so much in common. That's why I get upset when a so-called "professional" doesn't do their due diligence to get a proper diagnosis. Because being on the spectrum has become far more common in today's world, I believe the diagnosis is jumped to far too quickly. When it comes to NLD and NVLD which is nonverbal learning disorder or nonverbal learning disability, a diagnosis of Aspergers is usually always preferred. The name is very misleading in my opinion. I have known a couple of folks that had NLD and they were abnormally creative in their abilities but just like Aspergers, they had many challenges socially and reading body language, knowing what to say or how to respond, etc. Just in case you're not aware of this "disorder," here is some decent information on it from Wikipedia (just wanted to give some general information so I figured I'd use a "quick link":

"A nonverbal learning disorder or nonverbal learning disability (NLD or NVLD) is a condition characterized by a significant discrepancy between higher verbal and lower motor, visuo-spatial, and social skills on an IQ test. Some proponents of the category believe that this discrepancy is attributable to dysfunction in the right cerebral hemisphere. NLD involves deficits in perception, coordination, socialization, non-verbal problem-solving and understanding of humor, along with well-developed rote memory. Nonverbal learning disorder is a common co-existing disorder in people who have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Most people with Aspergers syndrome (AS) fit the criteria for NLD, a diagnosis of AS is often preferred. In this instance, some researchers assert that an AS diagnosis is more clinically useful than an NLD diagnosis, and argue that NLD would be an example of excessive diagnostic splitting. However, NLD can also occur with other disorders. As with Aspergers syndrome, NLD exists on a spectrum, and those affected can experience it in a range of ways. Those with an NLD diagnosis can experience some or all of the symptoms, and to varying degrees. Ongoing debate surrounds the relationship between Aspergers syndrome and NLD, as research on the condition is ongoing and procedures can differ from AS research.

Symptoms

Non-verbal communication

People with this disability may misunderstand non-verbal communications, or they may understand the communications but be unable to formulate an appropriate response. This can make establishing and maintaining social contacts difficult. Eye contact can also be difficult for people with NLD, either because they are uncomfortable with maintaining it or because they do not remember that others expect it. Similarly, knowing when and how to use physical contact and recognizing emotions in others and expressing them for oneself can be problematic.

Verbal communication

People with NLD will often tend to lapse into "cocktail-speech," talking too much and too quickly.

People with NLD often have strong verbal communication skills and rely on verbal communication as their main method of gathering information. As a result, they must often find ways to use verbal reasoning skills to compensate in areas where they have deficits, such as by "talking themselves through" a problem involving a large quantity and/or a wide variety of visuo-spatial and/or numerical data.

Despite these efforts, people with NLD can become confused and feel overwhelmed when the number and variety of nonverbal stimuli exceeds their processing abilities, especially when those stimuli must be processed in "real time."

Numerical and spatial awareness

Arithmetic and mathematics can be very difficult for people with NLD, and they often have problems with spatial awareness. Problematic areas may include:

Recognizing faces
Paying attention in noisy environments
Navigation
In mathematics: the confusion of X-axis and Y-axis
Remembering the names and locations of places
Map reading, or plotting or remembering routes. People with NLD are often best-served by giving landmarks along with repeated directions.
Estimating the speed of cars while crossing the road
Self-awareness of where their body is (frequently bump into other people and objects)
Driving a vehicle in reverse

Motor

People with NLD often have motor difficulties. This can manifest in their walking and running, which are sometimes stiff, or in difficulty balancing. They may also be more likely to run into things, due to judging distances poorly. Fine motor skills can also develop abnormally, causing difficulty with writing, drawing, and tying shoelaces. NLD sufferers are often labeled as "clumsy" or "stiff".

Anxiety

People with NLD, more than many others, fear failure. They may feel that they have to do too much at once, and then do not know where to start. This allows them to stagnate, and then do nothing. Sometimes they try to multitask and again end up doing nothing, which can lead to frustration. They may experience the world around them as a chaos, the actions that they must perform well and quickly creating a sense of helplessness. Clumsiness in performing tasks may be criticized by teachers or in the workplace, causing further fear of failure."

Those are the basics on NLD or NVLD. I still am locating the file I wanted to share as well. I am curious what both of your thoughts are on this information? Since this is lengthy already, I'll wrap this post up for now. :)

Sincerely,
- Holly
 
I have my own hypotheses on the matter. Regardless of which... does knowing if you have Asperger's or not change anything? Is it important in any way? Other than simply knowing for knowing's sake? I'm just curious is all. I have also been getting this looked into for myself.

It may not help him but it will help others around him, for sure. He is 22. If he is in college his profs should know, they'll go easy on him for breaking what a prof would consider a social boundary to the prof or being obnoxious with their intelligence.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dr. Holly
I scored 33, 31 and 34, so pretty consistent in my answers.

Thanks jim :) Just as it was with Paladin, it's very helpful to know your score as well. Being between 31-34 (exact same as me) definitely leads me to certain conclusions intuitively so I'd definitely love to discuss all of this further with you both and gather all the information you're willing to share. Did you find that your "INFJ-ness" as I call it really came out while taking the test - as in analyzing a lot in your mind the different ways in which that question could be answered or was it very straight forward?

[MENTION=5437]Paladin-X[/MENTION] I am actually curious regarding the same about you when you took the test?
 
[MENTION=5756]Dr. Holly[/MENTION]

Yes, I over-analyzed the test. I always see many different contexts for a given question on a test like that. It's another reason why MBTI always mistypes me.

I'll come back in a bit to respond to the other post. I'm off to Psych class.
 
Yes, I over-analyzed the test. I always see many different contexts for a given question on a test like that. It's another reason why MBTI always mistypes me.

I'll come back in a bit to respond to the other post. I'm off to Psych class.

That's what I expected. I will keep that in mind as well with your score of 38. I can relate 100%. MBTI oddly was the first test for me that I could take over & over again and get the exact same results, however. The NF mind in particular (in my experience, especially INFx) by far has the hardest time getting accurate results on various tests due to the ability to come up with 100 different scenarios in our mind for one seemingly, for everyone else, straight forward question with a supposed to be straight forward answer. Not us... hah. That skill though is needed when we are dealing with very complex issues.

Take your time responding. Psych classes are the best! :smile: (Hopefully you have a great leader) I hope you enjoy yourself and learn something that fascinates you!
 
[MENTION=5756]Dr. Holly[/MENTION] That is why I took the test multiple times. I always take those test multiple times because of my tendency to over think every question. Like the questions involving, "Do you like to be social?", "Do you have difficult times reading people?", "Are you social?", etc.... For the first one, yes I do like being social. I like talking with people, I like interacting and having friends. I just don't like small talk, I don't like sociallizing without a purpose or what could be described as social banter. I rather get to the point or the meat of the conversation even if it has no purpose. I would rather hear about a persons personal matters or the things they actually care about versus what they did that day. In the moment when I am in a conversation with a person I find it difficult to read them but when I think about it later, I can pick out actions that I can with a high probability say where for one reason or another. It is only in the moment that I cannot. Plus when I hear these questions, the answer is always, it depends. In small groups of people, I can be a social butterfly and am able to sit back, obvserve and process those actions that give me hints on when to act so I am far more relaxed and social. In one on one conversations, I struggle a little more unless it is a professional meeting and during large parties it is a bit overwhelming. There are just too many possibilities or variables to answer a hard "yes" or "no" to most of the questions.

One specific question I had real trouble with was the one about making friends. I make friends very easy but I don't maintain them because most are turned off by the fact that I don't call or text very often to go do things and I am not upset by the fact that a lot don't like this. My good friends are those who are similar and don't need me to send them something everyday for them to know they are important in my life and they know if they ever needed me, I would be their in a heartbeat. I like being notified ahead of time if they want to go do something because I like to plan enough time around it to give us freedom to not be limited by time constraints of my schedule. Like if my friends want to get out on a Friday night, I want to make sure my Saturday morning is free as well because things could possibily get crazy, like a night trip down to Vegas.

So like even in the description of AS, the whole schedule thing makes sense to me but it doesn't. I don't schedule things down to the very last detail and I get bored with doing the same thing over and over again but I do get upset if their is not some type of consistency in my life. I am a broker, so I work in sales (I know crazy) so I know the problems I face each day will vary but I am not upset by that. I enjoy the challenge of the different questions, individuals and problems presented but what I struggle with is the inconsistency of the work of my co-workers. I have a hard time with office politics so I just do my job and sell. Every day something different could go wrong and I would never get upset, I would just think through it and figure out a way to overcome it. For me what I want consistent is the fact that I know from 8am - 5pm, Monday through Friday, my days are going to be insane. They will be full of issues and various complications with unpredictable events and that is fine as long as it does not spill over into my none working life.

Now lets just say a family member or friend comes into town without warning and wants me to do something with them one day and take a day off work. That will upset me because it will upset the general schedule I have. If they had notified me in advance that they where coming, I could have planned ahead, set aside sometime, got ahead on some actions at work so that nothing was upset. For example, I have had the last 5 days off for vacation. I have done a different, random thing each day and had no type of schedule to my vacation. I set aside five days to be competely random and to just go with what sounded fun that day and it was awesome. I was able to be care free and relax because I set things up so I could be that way. I had friends call me and ask me if wanted to go to a party and drink, the idea of saying no never came to my mind. I had no responsibilites so I could relax and just enjoy. I wasn't uptight and worried that I was letting the ball drop on something. So again the answer to that question is always, it depends on the situation.
 
[MENTION=5756]Dr. Holly[/MENTION]
Numerical and spatial awareness

Arithmetic and mathematics can be very difficult for people with NLD, and they often have problems with spatial awareness. Problematic areas may include:

Recognizing faces
Paying attention in noisy environments
Navigation
In mathematics: the confusion of X-axis and Y-axis
Remembering the names and locations of places
Map reading, or plotting or remembering routes. People with NLD are often best-served by giving landmarks along with repeated directions.
Estimating the speed of cars while crossing the road
Self-awareness of where their body is (frequently bump into other people and objects)
Driving a vehicle in reverse”

After reading the description of NLD, I can see how it is often diagnosed as AS. The symptoms are almost identical but the root cause is not. Now I am focusing on responding to this specific section because again, I can answer yes to many of these but it comes with an *.

I am great at recognizing faces but am terrible with names. I struggle paying attention in inconsistent noisy environments, ones that go from loud to quite to loud. If it is consistently loud, I can ignore it, like having head phones on with music. When I get into whatever I am doing, I forget I am listening to music because it is consistent so I have playlists that all the songs are similar in style because if I am working on something and it goes to a song that doesn’t fit with the rest, it will interrupt me. I can focus in loud areas like a park, or a public bus, a loud classroom, etc… as long as the noise is consistent. I used to read my text books on the bus ride home and had no issue until there where unexpected noises like someone laughing. The loud noise of the bus engine, the air breaks, the door opening did not break my concentration.

Mathematics is something for me that is something I am both good and terrible at. Most don’t believe me when I say the more complicated the mathematics, the easier it is for me to do. On the ACT, I got a great score on Trigonometry but I failed basic Algebra. I graduated from the University of Utah in May and I did excellent in Statistics and Calculus but I struggled in my two Algebra classes. I also actually did better on word problems then simple problems. Lastly, I write my numbers differently than most. It is not that I write them backwards or something like that, I start at a different point.
This leads me to my next thing which is my handwriting. I have some of the worst handwriting and no matter how much time I have spent working on it, it has not gotten much better since I was six years old. I can type 140wpm but hardly anybody can read my handwriting. Others have also pointed out that I write like a left hander despite being right handed.

The last point I am going to discuss for today is in regards to self-awareness of the body. This is another one of those that is a, “It depends”, type of answer. When I actually concentrate on what I am doing, I can be very nimble. Like in a crowded hallway, I could avoid hitting people very easy and that is saying something with me being 6’6” and 200 pounds. It also helps that people tend to move out of my way but still when I focus on it, I can be pretty coordinated. The same goes for when I play basketball. I am very coordinated with my feet when playing and my shooting motion is very consistent. I am still pretty unorthodox as far as my playing style goes but I am not out of control. When I am not focused on it, I bump into everything, I fall up stairs, I trip over non-existent things, I bump into tables, chairs and pretty much anything else with a sharp hard corner.

Haha I think that is enough introspection for a day.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dr. Holly
Haha I think that is enough introspection for a day.

Is there really such a thing as too much or enough introspection? *ponders* :smile:

Wow, those reply posts were amazing. It was a little bit on the spooky side how I also could have written the exact same words for a good portion of that. I am getting a much clearer picture here of what I feel is going on. I am looking very forward to replying to both of your messages! Oh...just a side note...you're 6'6"? Wow! That's something you definitely don't see or hear everyday! :thumb: I always celebrate uniqueness!
 
Last edited: