Are you or your emotions in control? | INFJ Forum

Are you or your emotions in control?

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barbad0s

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Can you control your emotions well? Or do you fall victim to emotions?

I personally am completely guided by how I feel at any given moment. My thoughts can influence how I feel, but rationality can never completely override it to make myself do something that I am not feeling up to.

Are you a slave to your emotional state?
 
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To a point. It varies. I'm a lot more in control than I used to be.

I've always had a fail safe though. I call it my robot mode. When pushed too far, my feeling literally shuts off totally. This used to be quite more pronounced and was quite a shock or frustration to some people, when they wanted me to see their way, or connect, or empathize, or even be able to manipulate me - it simply would not work. They cannot relate to a totally cold and shut off person.
 
I know when to set my emotions aside and look at things objectively. At this point in my life ... I use my emotions to guide me (like intuition), but I usually do not act on them unless it involves people for whom I care (out of my duty to protect.)
 
Beep Boop Beep Boop I am a robot.
Emotion is difficult for me to compute.
In other words, how can emotion control me if I do not understand emotion.
It's hard for me to follow my emotions When I can't tell how I'm feeling, So instead I just don't consider them.

Quite confusing.
 
I'm more like you in this regard [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION]. I never used to think of myself this way but I didn't really understand myself as well as I thought I did then.

I'm especially guilty of this during conflict situations. I'm absolutely horrible at them because of it.

I get kind of indignant about this sort of thing sometimes actually. I don't feel like it is fair of other people to tell me that I need to put my feelings aside as often as I get told that. I suppose I should elaborate and say that my indignance usually just means that I want them to at least acknowledge that I have a right to feel how I feel, because so much of my life I was made to feel like I did not. So often it just sounds like someone telling me that my own emotional needs are less important than theirs and that I need to constantly work hard to accommodate others emotional needs instead of the other way around. But I also realize the importance of understanding the different communicative styles between people for best potential harmony. I just don't know how to know where that line is, if I am being emotionally taken advantage of and trampled over or if I'm the one doing the trampling.

Aaaand this is why I'm hoping to get into counseling soon. Life long problem. -_-
 
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Not in the very least. I have my feelings but I am not guided by them. I have very few instances where if I am feeling a swell of emotion it's difficult for me to go about my day regularly but that's mostly because I have an issue that needs to be discussed or resolved and I have to have it handled immediately, otherwise I feel a bit immobilized. But in terms of my day to day life, my emotions don't really come into the equation at all.
 
sprinkles said:
To a point. It varies. I'm a lot more in control than I used to be.

I've always had a fail safe though. I call it my robot mode. When pushed too far, my feeling literally shuts off totally. This used to be quite more pronounced and was quite a shock or frustration to some people, when they wanted me to see their way, or connect, or empathize, or even be able to manipulate me - it simply would not work. They cannot relate to a totally cold and shut off person.
Click to expand...

Robot mode is a perfect word for it. That's what I do if I get frustrated, angry, or annoyed. Basically when my buttons are pushed. It's usually a defense mechanism because I hate conflict - I'd rather bite my tongue, walk away, and return when the other person has calmed down. Much easier to do this if you're "shut off".
 
When I am not at work then most of the time my thoughts and decisions are ruled by my emotional state to a certain degree, though not completely.
When I do my job in surgery I have to rule my emotions, and over the years I have gotten quite good at pushing them to one side...although, there are times in that job when you cannot help but let them come out...such as when a child dies...but that is usually after the fact...while there is still a chance to save that child or whatever the situation...then I am almost emotionless and completely focused on the task at hand as it is incredibly fast paced at times. If it turns out badly, then I still mourn that loss of life, but I have also come to understand over the years that - when it is your time, it is your time.....and not the surgeon, nor me, or anyone else can do anything about that...we always give it all we can, but then there is a certain amount of "grace" that plays a role. Even with that in mind, it often ruins the rest of my day....and I remember most every incident still.
 
im in control.


(emotions? hah.)
 
Mostly in control (I'm not a youngster anymore), but sometimes I am driven by emotions to do irrational stuff. Then I feel like a sliver in a hurricane.
 
Hard to say. I don't see much of a divide between oneself and one's emotions; an emotion can no more control "you" than any one of your other many cognitive processes.

I'd say that while I give my primitive amygdala free range to function, I don't allow its primitive functions to become the sole determining factor in how I act most of the time - but it's still a big factor into how I will act. Emotions and gut instinct are very closely linked to me, and I have developed a habit of consulting my gut quite often. I like to use my emotional drive, as it happens, as a tool to shape and temper my interactions with the world. For instance, fear is a very good motivator to not get hurt in a situation where you might get hurt, and happiness is a very good motivator to be outgoing, honest, and confiding where you otherwise might not. I try to take advantage of it, in a sense.
 
Emotions definitely have a say in what I do and I've become more accepting of them over the last year. However, I believe that I'm mostly in control of my feelings and usually act on logical analysis rather than emotional impulse. Of course, there are times where the emotion is too strong for me to process and dissect it and have little control over it's impact.
 
I've been trying to let my emotions control my behavior a little more lately, outside the stock market. I'm trying to be a little less reserved and it feels good. I hope I'm heading in the right direction. I've been feeling extraordinarily emotional lately. I don't like it because it hurts. My emotions control me too much now that I think about it. I always want to be around people and connecting with them. If I'm ever by myself I start to feel like I'm caving in on myself. Then I login to the forum and start writing loopy comments all over the place. I think the most painful and controlling emotion I experience is loneliness. It's an emotion I mask like a guru in the real world. I carry myself with so much confidence and swagger, I don't have a problem in the world, I'm perfect. Nobody would even suspect. Deep down, I'm a needy baby who wants to be hugged.

By the way if anyone wants to skype send me a PM. But promise you won't leave me, I'm needy. ;)
 
I'm only a slave to my emotions during shark week. Otherwise, no. I'm cool as a cucumber. I think my level of emotional is not the same as most people here.... because even in my most emotional state, I'm still pretty reserved. I rarely break under stress.
 
Jill Hives said:
I'm more like you in this regard @niffer . I never used to think of myself this way but I didn't really understand myself as well as I thought I did then.

I'm especially guilty of this during conflict situations. I'm absolutely horrible at them because of it.

I get kind of indignant about this sort of thing sometimes actually. I don't feel like it is fair of other people to tell me that I need to put my feelings aside as often as I get told that. I suppose I should elaborate and say that my indignance usually just means that I want them to at least acknowledge that I have a right to feel how I feel, because so much of my life I was made to feel like I did not. So often it just sounds like someone telling me that my own emotional needs are less important than theirs and that I need to constantly work hard to accommodate others emotional needs instead of the other way around. But I also realize the importance of understanding the different communicative styles between people for best potential harmony. I just don't know how to know where that line is, if I am being emotionally taken advantage of and trampled over or if I'm the one doing the trampling.

Aaaand this is why I'm hoping to get into counseling soon. Life long problem. -_-
Click to expand...

I would love to sit in a room and cry with you. :D

I feel like I've held things in for too long too and never really thought it was okay to deal with things normally. Now that I feel more sure of myself, I feel like no one can stop me from expressing myself anymore lol, so it almost makes me kind of indignant about it all. It's a problem though because the emotions are so crippling, even during moments when my ability to perform is paramount. I've stayed up all night without sleeping a wink if I really wanted to talk to someone, then immediately passed out once I've finally said what I needed to say to them. I've stayed home and cried all day instead of going to major exams or working to complete major assignments in school, or attending class out of fear of confronting people and having them see the difficulty I've been having. I forgo all my responsibilities and pretend real life and the people in them don't exist if I'm feeling down. I feel my emotions very strongly in my body and they can cause or relieve pain and shakiness. I get very jumpy and tense and throw things if I feel very angry and it takes a lot to restrain my physical reactions. One time I was co-conducting an interview to screen potential new members joining my volunteer group, and one of the interviewees who was introducing himself had a really funny name, and I laughed so hard and so long when he said it that I teared up (I was only 17 lol but still not very professional).
 
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i think they're in control for the most part but recently, I've changed my demeanor to that of an INTJ. I feel that my emotions result in me acting over the top a LOT. Other people have noticed the change and say that me being over the top is part of who I am but lately, I've been very serious about doing away with that part of me.
 
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i run the show - emotions are merely 'actors' in the story.
 
The more i practice meditation, the more my will power influences myself as a whole. The less i practice, the more feelings influence.
 
Computers control us. We feed them our time.
 
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