Are we antisocial to others? | INFJ Forum

Are we antisocial to others?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by just me, May 8, 2010.

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  1. just me

    just me GONE

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    Have to go, but while the thought is fresh.......is it a proper evaluation to call us antisocial? I guess we do show signs of it to some others....


     
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  2. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    What do you mean, INFJs??

    No. Maybe. I don't know. I've found most rebellious tendencies of INFJs to be just more reasonable than what their current society believes.

    INFJs may be odd birds sometimes, and even a bit isolated, but they do not hate people in general, and would not harm people.

    No, I would never call INFJs antisocial. Like every other type, they can be pushed to the brink of madness, of course, but even then they very rarely end up hurting anyone. And if so, that would be by accident.

    Actually some extroverts are more antisocial than some introverts. For example, verbal sadists, abusing people with words, for pleasure. INFJs cause no such problems.

    INFJs tend to avoid people, because INFJs are too compassionate. To be antisocial requires lack of empathy, which seems very hard for INFJ to even grasp.
     
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    #2 enfp can be shy, May 9, 2010
    Last edited: May 9, 2010
  3. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Antisocial in the typical sense? Not really, just really shy and such.

    Antisocial in the sense of the disorder: No. Not at all.
     
  4. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    let's see:

    The antisocial personality has the following attributes:
    1. He or she speaks only in very broad generalities.
     
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  5. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    It depends on who you ask. A raging extrovert who can't be away from people. Yes we are antisocial. And I've been called it before. To almost anyone who is not an extreme extrovert no we aren't.
     
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  6. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    I think we can be, but no more than any other type. I also think we are prone to being pro-social, but probably no more than any other type.

    If the reference is to the second paragraph, then I suppose the excessively introverted among infjs would be appropriately labeled as such in common parlance, but then so would the excessively introverted among infps, intps, intjs, isfjs, istjs, isfps, and istps.

    Has someone made this accusation? If so, it seems a pretty sloppy blanket application of the term to me.
     
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  7. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    Are you serious?

    Also, just to point out the actual DSM-IV criteria for Anti-Social personality, see below:

     
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    #7 tovlo, May 9, 2010
    Last edited: May 9, 2010
  8. Raccoon Love

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    I do not believe I am antisocial. Others however, have constantly accused me of being antisocial. I guess there's a lot of misunderstandings of what being antisocial really is and therefore many introverts tend to be labeled as being antisocial. Though some traits of the antisocial personality might apply to me at times, I believe that most of the time I do not behave in antisocial manner. Furthermore I can at times be the opposite of what antisocial is defined as. I am just an introvert, I do not see nothing wrong with that.
     
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  9. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    not really. the criteria i posted i found out later are from a scientology website, not the most reliable source (sorry about that). from what you posted, i don't think anyone here is anti-social. maybe socially avoidant, but that is a different issue.
     
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  10. waterbaby

    waterbaby Temporarily Dismembered
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    Oddly, an ISTP once accused me of being antisocial. I think that comment was based on a complete inability to understand the motivations of others, and not entirely type related, but I found it funny. He held weekly outings with his friends and such, but I'm with my child every waking moment, and as much as I love her, a Saturday night alone is a welcome relief when I find one. This inability to comprehend the feelings of others was a running theme in our friendship. What a surprise. I know part of the ISTP type is a tendency to distrust feelings in general, but he was sooooooooo extreme in it... Once we realized we couldn't "fix" each other (I think it was "save" on my end, "fix" on his), we parted ways. Sorry if I rambled off topic.

    Interestingly, other introverts often mistake me for an extrovert, while extroverts consistently seem to think that I'm depressed, or something is "wrong" with me for not wanting to go out constantly.
     
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    #10 waterbaby, May 9, 2010
    Last edited: May 9, 2010
  11. Ergo Christobal

    Ergo Christobal Talking Lightbulb
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    As a kid, I was suposedly antisocial in the conventional sense. My parents even signed me up for this once/week social skills workshop where this old lady played various board games with me. It was fun, but kinda weird thinking back on it...

    The truth was that I had a very small amount of really good friends, and that trend still holds true today. I think INFJs aren't necesarily antisocial in the conventional way, we just find it hard to open up, and as a result we open up to a few select people. That might count as being anti-social but to our close friends we are very sociable.

    I'm new to this whole INFJ thing though, is the small close knit-friend thing a major aspect? Different INFJ descriptions say so.

    I think the medical versions of antisocial-ness are a bit extreme, and nothing like the common use of the word. INFJs are definitely not that.
     
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  12. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    Whew, I was wondering what the heck you saw in us for a moment. lol

    I think you're closer to the mark with socially avoidant. I'm not sure I can think of anyone here who would actually qualify for avoidant personality disorder, but I think, as a generalization, some of us may head that direction, certainly more so than the antisocial personality direction.

    I think that's a major aspect of any introvert manifestation, not an abnormality.
     
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    #12 tovlo, May 9, 2010
    Last edited: May 9, 2010
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  13. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    No, I don't think "being anti-social" is part of INFJness at all. If someone happens to be this way, that'd be a seperate matter.
     
  14. OP
    just me

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    tovlo, when you get the time and if you don't mind, could you spell out from the DSM-IV the "avoidant personality disorder"?

    I think there are times I may be somewhat avoidant due to life circumstances, though I would not call that as having an avoidant personality disorder. I have seen others going through difficult times in life
    showing signs of being withdrawn, but that usually goes away quickly.
    Some folk take longer with more difficult situations.

    No, I have not heard anyone claim the INFJ to be antisocial as a generalization. I do think the term "antisocial" is not fully understood by enough people. The term "loner" is also not fully understood and used against people in criminal investigations a lot.
     
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  15. Skoffin

    Skoffin <font color=#00EE99>She Whose Name We Do Not Speak

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    I've been described as antisocial before, some have said that I seem like a sociopath. I'm not really sure though to be honest. :m119:
     
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  16. Raccoon Love

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    Exactly, I am also avoidant due to life circumstances. I am pretty much withdrawn much of the time, this does not mean I do not care. I value this world and enjoy helping others as much as I can. I agree about the term loner, it is very misunderstood. I am pretty much one myself, and people have misjudge me because of it.
     
  17. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    The avoidant personality disorder doesn't list the DSM-IV, but does list the World Health Organizations ICD-10 diagnostic criteria:

    I have resonance with many of the criteria listed, but I think the thing that would eliminate me from this diagnosis would be the degree to which I exhibit the characteristics.
     
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  18. OP
    just me

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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder#General_diagnostic_criteria_2

    Some of this reminds me of Monk on TV. The man lacks in some fields but is gifted in others for balance. heh

    Thank you, tovlo! Followed your link to another.

    A person cannot be analyzed by his personality type as having a personality disorder. I do agree with the "degree" of each item as being of utmost importance, even moreso than the regularity of it. The INFJ is certainly not the victim of a disorder, but rather is blessed in ways others are not....just as others are blessed in certain ways.

    I will say I will be myself after all these years. If others do not understand me I can accept that. I do open up the more I am around people......just the way I am. I hold no disrespect for those that do not understand.
     
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  19. deadred

    deadred Community Member

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    truly interesting stuff...

    I think INFJs aren't anti-scoial because of our deep feelings for others. We may be more solitary individuals, but that is when we do our research and deep thinking. Our brains are like a very sensitive radio reciever that picks up many stations that can often block out weaker, but equally important signals. We may prefer soliltude so that we can analyze our thoughts and feelings in a more complete and efficient way.
    One thing that has puzzled me about myself is that I am definitely an introvert, except when I am with people I know very well and who know me well. I am extroverted then, it seems. This makes sense to me, but I still find it interesting.
    I also think the general public isn't always precise in using language or in understanding definitions. If someone appears to be anti-social to others, if the behavior isn't pathologic, where's the problem? I just prefer peace and quiet, and the best way to achieve that is through relative solitude. Labels can be very misleading.
     
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  20. Gaze

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    Agree.
     
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