[INFJ] Are these some normal qualities of INFJ's?
- Thread starter Jenny
- Start date
i can relate to just about all of that xD. I never thought i would see another infj that i had that much in common with xD. All infj's are different though, or else we would be like robots lol.
1. I hate, hate, hate politics. I can't listen to it, or think about it. It drives me up the wall. Only Colbert and Stewart are exceptions because they make it extremely funny. Very me. But don't even watch these people.
2. I hate listening to my parents talk about finances even though we are really well off. I get worried. Very me. I hate listening to anyone talk about money whether they have a lot of it or not enough. None of my business!
3. I'm disgusted by pregnancy and never want children. Very me, though not disgusted. Maybe by some. I think they're cute little things but I feel repelled by the idea of having one.
4. I feel that I could not satisfy my soul and fulfill my purpose on earth if I did have children. Feel the same most of the time.
5. Babies are not cute and their crying makes my skin crawl. I'd rather not hear it but it does not make my skin crawl.
6. I love tragically sad things. They're so beautiful to me. They make me feel too deeply. I think they're gorgeous but at the same time it breaks me up.
7. I'm extremely romantic. I don't know. Sometimes.
8. I like to be isolated out in the woods in nature to write and paint. Don't live near the woods but do like to be in open fields, in the mountains, near the ocean... anywhere vast and seemingly unending.
9. Large cities are poisonous- I just feel everyone else's feelings and can't deal with all that emotion packed into small areas. Feel the same way.
10. I have a very small inner circle of close friends- two to be exact. Same. Though a couple more than two. Lots of friends, very few "close" ones.
11. When I'm close to someone, I feel like they are another half of me- a soulmate. Yes I have felt this for sure.
12. I strongly desire human touch (cuddling, kissing). Like these very much from particular people. Definitely do not want to be touched/kissed by most.
13. I seem to have a lot of unrequited love. Yes.
14. I'm very spiritual. Can be when I don't shut it out.
15. Can be mistaken for being sad, when really I'm pondering spirituality, films, or beautiful music/poetry. Sometimes.
16. Experience about five dream premonitions a year- like dreaming about my grandfather passing away the night it happened. Yes.
2. I hate listening to my parents talk about finances even though we are really well off. I get worried. Very me. I hate listening to anyone talk about money whether they have a lot of it or not enough. None of my business!
3. I'm disgusted by pregnancy and never want children. Very me, though not disgusted. Maybe by some. I think they're cute little things but I feel repelled by the idea of having one.
4. I feel that I could not satisfy my soul and fulfill my purpose on earth if I did have children. Feel the same most of the time.
5. Babies are not cute and their crying makes my skin crawl. I'd rather not hear it but it does not make my skin crawl.
6. I love tragically sad things. They're so beautiful to me. They make me feel too deeply. I think they're gorgeous but at the same time it breaks me up.
7. I'm extremely romantic. I don't know. Sometimes.
8. I like to be isolated out in the woods in nature to write and paint. Don't live near the woods but do like to be in open fields, in the mountains, near the ocean... anywhere vast and seemingly unending.
9. Large cities are poisonous- I just feel everyone else's feelings and can't deal with all that emotion packed into small areas. Feel the same way.
10. I have a very small inner circle of close friends- two to be exact. Same. Though a couple more than two. Lots of friends, very few "close" ones.
11. When I'm close to someone, I feel like they are another half of me- a soulmate. Yes I have felt this for sure.
12. I strongly desire human touch (cuddling, kissing). Like these very much from particular people. Definitely do not want to be touched/kissed by most.
13. I seem to have a lot of unrequited love. Yes.
14. I'm very spiritual. Can be when I don't shut it out.
15. Can be mistaken for being sad, when really I'm pondering spirituality, films, or beautiful music/poetry. Sometimes.
16. Experience about five dream premonitions a year- like dreaming about my grandfather passing away the night it happened. Yes.
1. I'm not a huge fan of it, but I like knowing the highlights. Also, I adore Colbert and Stewart for the jabs.
2.I don't actually have to deal with this often.
3.I find pregnancy very fascinating, but I don't want children. At least that is my stance for now; I like kids when they aren't mine.
4.Part of me feels this way, and another part of me, feels that my future child could help me achieve this.
5.I would rather not hear it for an extended period.
6.I appreciate it, but I don't go out of my way to immerse myself in it.
7. Hmm I can be at times.
8.Yes, but I'd prefer the mountains or the beach.
9.I feel that way about crowds in general
10. I do have an inner circle of about 4, but I have a few other friends as well.
11. Yes
12. I loooooove hugs in general, and cuddles if we are close.
13. Yes
14. Yes, I let Christianity ground me though.
15. A lot
16. It's almost a way of life for me.
2.I don't actually have to deal with this often.
3.I find pregnancy very fascinating, but I don't want children. At least that is my stance for now; I like kids when they aren't mine.
4.Part of me feels this way, and another part of me, feels that my future child could help me achieve this.
5.I would rather not hear it for an extended period.
6.I appreciate it, but I don't go out of my way to immerse myself in it.
7. Hmm I can be at times.
8.Yes, but I'd prefer the mountains or the beach.
9.I feel that way about crowds in general
10. I do have an inner circle of about 4, but I have a few other friends as well.
11. Yes
12. I loooooove hugs in general, and cuddles if we are close.
13. Yes
14. Yes, I let Christianity ground me though.
15. A lot
16. It's almost a way of life for me.
INFJ who also doesn't think babies are cute
I know this was posted some time ago, but I felt compelled to reply. I too wondered if it was normal for us INFJs to not want children. I personally don't. I feel like I SHOULD have them, but I feel a sense of joy whenever I think that I could live a life with out having them. I thought maybe my biological clock would start ticking and I would be overcome with baby lust! Well, 30 came and went, and here I sit, grateful for not having a child. I love my alone time. When children are around, (which is often) I feel obligated to interact with them, not a sense of happiness about joining in with them. I only hold babies because I feel like their mom needs a break. Inside I feel intense impatience with them and quick, irrational anger when they cry. I am able to mask it well enough for people to say, "You must have kids. You do so well with them." Not internally! Like most INFJ's do, I've only told a few close people about this because I feel like a freak of nature almost. "What?! A woman doesn't want kids?! How weird. Hold my baby, that will change your mind!" Nope. Now seeing that most the INFJs here adore children and family I feel even more odd. I just wanted to show some support to Jenny. Our attitude toward children may change in the future, Jenny. But for right now, I completely identify with you!
I know this was posted some time ago, but I felt compelled to reply. I too wondered if it was normal for us INFJs to not want children. I personally don't. I feel like I SHOULD have them, but I feel a sense of joy whenever I think that I could live a life with out having them. I thought maybe my biological clock would start ticking and I would be overcome with baby lust! Well, 30 came and went, and here I sit, grateful for not having a child. I love my alone time. When children are around, (which is often) I feel obligated to interact with them, not a sense of happiness about joining in with them. I only hold babies because I feel like their mom needs a break. Inside I feel intense impatience with them and quick, irrational anger when they cry. I am able to mask it well enough for people to say, "You must have kids. You do so well with them." Not internally! Like most INFJ's do, I've only told a few close people about this because I feel like a freak of nature almost. "What?! A woman doesn't want kids?! How weird. Hold my baby, that will change your mind!" Nope. Now seeing that most the INFJs here adore children and family I feel even more odd. I just wanted to show some support to Jenny. Our attitude toward children may change in the future, Jenny. But for right now, I completely identify with you!
Since I don't see any other way of doing this, I am just going to play a fun internet game and counter every point with a truth from my own perspective. I hate talking about myself, but society demands it! Everyone who is successful just talks about themselves all day right? This shall serve as practice...
1. I think Colbert rocks. I truly enjoy politics in controlled doses.
2. Yeah, I'm just around what is considered a touch away from middle class, obviously above the poverty line. Talk to my parents though, and you may be fooled.
3. Pregnancy is a miracle blah blah blah. I don't have too much of an opinion, so instead I say this: I am disgusted by cilantro. Shit tastes like dish soap.
4. If I ever decide to reproduce, my life is over. My new life will be dedicated to making the child super-ultra-mega-awesome financial emotional academic social intuitive genius. He will read you like etchings in stone (with neat handwriting).
5. Babies can't be cute, they can behave cute however, sort of like cats. I think the cry is especially developed by macro-evolution to make our skin crawl. What better way to say "I'm in danger, for the love of all that is heavenly please save me!" or "Feed me you damn plonker!" or "I hate this, change my environment now or I refuse to stop crying!" ...than the call of a baby?
6. Just like existence itself. Screw Romeo and Juliet though, that story managed to be both far-fetched AND utterly boring. Except for the second time I read it, that was one occasion when it really vibed with me. I suspect high-school analysis ruined my perceptions. Hamlet was pretty kickass however.
7. Me too.....especially on the inside. I'm a softie fo' sho! On the outside I'm cold until you get to know me (it's much easier textually than personally).
8. Surrounding myself with nature makes me feel absolutely complete. I can only really think clearly standing in the clearing of a lush green forest after rainfall on a beautiful, clear day with a clear blue sky. Could never paint very well though.
9. I live in a city of just over half a million souls. It is completely deserted between the hours of 1:00 AM and 5:00 AM. It is during this time that, provided my obligations permit me to, I go for long walks by the bay, or even in the town centre. There is simply nothing more divine than lighting up a twisty in the middle of a deserted Main St. with the simulated feeling that there simply are no more humans. Just me and an empty town. I live for such walks.
10. I have exactly three friends that I consider close. The remaining hundred or so are acquaintances and family members.
11. Ditto. I just want to HUG EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD.
12. It does feel good, man!
13. Every. Fucking. Time.
14. I believe you. Oh yes....I do indeed believe you. I don't think you know how spiritual I am... oh wait, on second thought I think you do! But I'll respectfully decline your invitation to Sunday service thank you.
15. "I'm not depressed, no I'm not mad! NO REALLY IM NOT THANK YOU. I just need to be alone.....not because I'm depressed or mad though."
16. ....you mean like extrasensory perception sort of stuff? That is mega cool, except for the sad nature of the mentioned premonition ....sorry to hear. I'd normally give you some personal closure, some kind words, and a few hours of company......but I unfortunately don't really know you. I'm sure you'd understand. I hope you find someone to hug you, because you deserve it. Everyone deserves it.
Ah, that wasn't so bad.
1. I think Colbert rocks. I truly enjoy politics in controlled doses.
2. Yeah, I'm just around what is considered a touch away from middle class, obviously above the poverty line. Talk to my parents though, and you may be fooled.
3. Pregnancy is a miracle blah blah blah. I don't have too much of an opinion, so instead I say this: I am disgusted by cilantro. Shit tastes like dish soap.
4. If I ever decide to reproduce, my life is over. My new life will be dedicated to making the child super-ultra-mega-awesome financial emotional academic social intuitive genius. He will read you like etchings in stone (with neat handwriting).
5. Babies can't be cute, they can behave cute however, sort of like cats. I think the cry is especially developed by macro-evolution to make our skin crawl. What better way to say "I'm in danger, for the love of all that is heavenly please save me!" or "Feed me you damn plonker!" or "I hate this, change my environment now or I refuse to stop crying!" ...than the call of a baby?
6. Just like existence itself. Screw Romeo and Juliet though, that story managed to be both far-fetched AND utterly boring. Except for the second time I read it, that was one occasion when it really vibed with me. I suspect high-school analysis ruined my perceptions. Hamlet was pretty kickass however.
7. Me too.....especially on the inside. I'm a softie fo' sho! On the outside I'm cold until you get to know me (it's much easier textually than personally).
8. Surrounding myself with nature makes me feel absolutely complete. I can only really think clearly standing in the clearing of a lush green forest after rainfall on a beautiful, clear day with a clear blue sky. Could never paint very well though.
9. I live in a city of just over half a million souls. It is completely deserted between the hours of 1:00 AM and 5:00 AM. It is during this time that, provided my obligations permit me to, I go for long walks by the bay, or even in the town centre. There is simply nothing more divine than lighting up a twisty in the middle of a deserted Main St. with the simulated feeling that there simply are no more humans. Just me and an empty town. I live for such walks.
10. I have exactly three friends that I consider close. The remaining hundred or so are acquaintances and family members.
11. Ditto. I just want to HUG EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD.
12. It does feel good, man!
13. Every. Fucking. Time.
14. I believe you. Oh yes....I do indeed believe you. I don't think you know how spiritual I am... oh wait, on second thought I think you do! But I'll respectfully decline your invitation to Sunday service thank you.
15. "I'm not depressed, no I'm not mad! NO REALLY IM NOT THANK YOU. I just need to be alone.....not because I'm depressed or mad though."
16. ....you mean like extrasensory perception sort of stuff? That is mega cool, except for the sad nature of the mentioned premonition ....sorry to hear. I'd normally give you some personal closure, some kind words, and a few hours of company......but I unfortunately don't really know you. I'm sure you'd understand. I hope you find someone to hug you, because you deserve it. Everyone deserves it.
Ah, that wasn't so bad.
Last edited:
1. I hate, hate, hate politics. I can't listen to it, or think about it. It drives me up the wall. Only Colbert and Stewart are exceptions because they make it extremely funny. Yes. I don't like politics. But at times, I do like some political leaders or ideas.
2. I hate listening to my parents talk about finances even though we are really well off. I get worried. Yes. And then they would laugh at my worried expressions.
3. I'm disgusted by pregnancy and never want children. Yes. SO true.
4. I feel that I could not satisfy my soul and fulfill my purpose on earth if I did have children. Yes. I feel EXACTLY the same.
5. Babies are not cute and their crying makes my skin crawl. I'm kind of insensitive to babies crying. Sad, but ignorable. But I do think they are cute.
6. I love tragically sad things. They're so beautiful to me. NO. I hate sad things. They make me sad, give me nightmares and even make me sick. I avoid sad things unless I think I can help improve the situation.
7. I'm extremely romantic. Yes. Maybe not extremely. But still a lot.
8. I like to be isolated out in the woods in nature to write and paint. Nope. I would like to be isolated on a hill, on a secluded beach or even a desert. But not woods. I am highly aware of all the insects lurking nearby and in a "fight or flight" mode when I'm surrounded by trees.
9. Large cities are poisonous- I just feel everyone else's feelings and can't deal with all that emotion packed into small areas. Dont affect me much.
10. I have a very small inner circle of close friends- two to be exact. Yes. Very few close friends.
11. When I'm close to someone, I feel like they are another half of me- a soulmate. Sadly no. I haven't met anyone yet who felt like my soul-mate.
12. I strongly desire human touch (cuddling, kissing) I like touch from a loved one. But otherwise, I keep away.
13. I seem to have a lot of unrequited love. Yes.
14. I'm very spiritual. Not all that much.
15. Can be mistaken for being sad, when really I'm pondering spirituality, films, or beautiful music/poetry. Yes.
16. Experience about five dream premonitions a year- like dreaming about my grandfather passing away the night it happened. No. My dreams (or the ones I remember) are echoes of my unconscious wishes.
2. I hate listening to my parents talk about finances even though we are really well off. I get worried. Yes. And then they would laugh at my worried expressions.
3. I'm disgusted by pregnancy and never want children. Yes. SO true.
4. I feel that I could not satisfy my soul and fulfill my purpose on earth if I did have children. Yes. I feel EXACTLY the same.
5. Babies are not cute and their crying makes my skin crawl. I'm kind of insensitive to babies crying. Sad, but ignorable. But I do think they are cute.
6. I love tragically sad things. They're so beautiful to me. NO. I hate sad things. They make me sad, give me nightmares and even make me sick. I avoid sad things unless I think I can help improve the situation.
7. I'm extremely romantic. Yes. Maybe not extremely. But still a lot.
8. I like to be isolated out in the woods in nature to write and paint. Nope. I would like to be isolated on a hill, on a secluded beach or even a desert. But not woods. I am highly aware of all the insects lurking nearby and in a "fight or flight" mode when I'm surrounded by trees.
9. Large cities are poisonous- I just feel everyone else's feelings and can't deal with all that emotion packed into small areas. Dont affect me much.
10. I have a very small inner circle of close friends- two to be exact. Yes. Very few close friends.
11. When I'm close to someone, I feel like they are another half of me- a soulmate. Sadly no. I haven't met anyone yet who felt like my soul-mate.
12. I strongly desire human touch (cuddling, kissing) I like touch from a loved one. But otherwise, I keep away.
13. I seem to have a lot of unrequited love. Yes.
14. I'm very spiritual. Not all that much.
15. Can be mistaken for being sad, when really I'm pondering spirituality, films, or beautiful music/poetry. Yes.
16. Experience about five dream premonitions a year- like dreaming about my grandfather passing away the night it happened. No. My dreams (or the ones I remember) are echoes of my unconscious wishes.
Was surprised about the whole opinion on children, for me as an INFJ, I would feel like I have not fulfilled my life purpose if I don't have children someday
Most people don't understand that mbti is something, but being infj ennagram 4 is totally different than being infj ennagram 9 . I totally relate to the babies thing: expensive, the can limit me, they cry loud. Btw, my parents divorced, and I know what it means to have a baby just because he's cute and then discover you can't stand your partner any longer, split up and quarrell for financial issues. If I have a baby, I must be in love and be quite sure I want to live all my life with my partner. And I would never leave him/them, because it's so hard to grow without a dad, trust me. And I find it selfish, while I totally understand who honestly admit he may want somebody else (or, puts his career goals first) and can't give the child enough love and attentions.
How old are you?
How old are you?
Last edited:
1. I am politically neutral, neither right wing or left wing
2. When I was younger, I enjoyed managing our money but now it is just a necessity that I have to do. Money is necessary but I think we are WAY too obsessed with it - in my Culture, America, life revolves around the acquisition of money and material possessions and it seems like a pretty empty way of life to me (IMO).
3. My wife and I had/have three sons; I deeply love my children.
4. My sons (now 23, 21 and the other passed away before he was 2 years old) are a very enriching part of my life
5. When I was younger, babies were not cute. As I have gotten older, babies have become cuter but some are still not cute sometimes.
6. This is were I differ from my INFJ fellow-travelers: I do not like sadness or brooding on sad things. After the pain of losing a son and some others hardships, I feel life is already hard enough so we should look for the good whenever we can for our own mental health and peace of soul.
7. I'm extremely romantic. - yes, me too.
8. I like to be alone most of the time but also enjoy being around people for a few hours each day. I love being with people but can only do it in small doses since it drains my battery (so to speak). There are a few people, however, I can be around all day and they do not drain me at all (my wife being one). Although it is just a theory, I believe it has something to do with the energy each person emits or puts off (sounds crazy, I know, but I suspect something to do with energy transfer is behind this draining/charging thing)
9. I am not crazy about large cities either but that is probably because I was not raised in one. I also could not live in the country miles away from everyone. I like the balance of the two.
10. I too have a VERY, VERY small circle of friends. I can make friends pretty easy but then they want to get together, go out, etc... and I find that very draining so I have to limit myself. Now, when I was deployed in Saudi Arabia and away from my wife, I found myself to be more gregarious and outgoing and needed human contact more often.
11. When I'm close to someone, I feel like they are another half of me- a soulmate. Yes, me too (with my wife)
12. I strongly desire human touch (cuddling, kissing). Yes, me too. I am very physical and it drives my wife crazy sometimes! : - )
13. I seem to have a lot of unrequited love. I have not experienced this - my wife and children are very loving towards me. I did experience people really seem to want to take advantage of you as soon as you try and make yourself available. I experimented with trying to be more open and only seem to have gotten taken advantage of so I decided I liked the way I was naturally made and it seemed to work best for me.
14. I'm very spiritual. Yes, me to. I am a Christian (Eastern Orthodox) but also very human with all the frailty that entails.
15. I am not a sad person. At one base I worked at, they called me "happy Pat". I used to struggle with negative thoughts and, like a worm, a thought would get in my head and I used to not be able to get rid of it and would brood on it for hours trying to "get my hands around it" (so to speak). As I have gotten older, however, I have realized what a complete waste of time that is and have really pretty much learned how to stop these thoughts when they start and just move on. Life is already difficult enough without making it worse by dwelling on every word or statement someone said. Also, I used to be a perfectionist and strive to the "inth" degree to make things absolutely perfect but that is just a waste of time too (IMO). Think about this, everything we do will be undone or become old/outdated or return to dust. Thus, we should do a good job, strive to do the best we can but, at the end of the day, realize that we are only human, not God, and can only do so much. The only thing you can take with you when you depart this life is the love you acquired and gave, the knowledge you attained and the virtues you developed within yourself - everything else goes to others or returns to the earth.
16. Experience about five dream premonitions a year: No, I do not have this happen to me.
Last edited: